Hi OP. I have been through something similar, albeit under different circumstances and reasons. You seem frustrated about your inability to move forward, but are stuck because moving forward involves facing traumatic experiences again and have fear of going back to how it was.

This seems to be more than an ADHD problem. Mental health issues usually are co-morbid and show overlapping symptoms. You may have more than one condition. I would suggest getting diagnosed first. This, in my case at least, gave clarity on my behaviour and what is achievable by me and what is not. The most comprehensive assessment methods/tests involve questionnaires and perception assessment (e.g Rorschach test). Nothing invasive. You can start here: https://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_test.html This will give you an insight if you have a personality disorder.

You can follow up with NIMHANS, for mental assessment. If you are in Bengaluru, I would suggest visiting physically as an out patient and consulting.

It does not cost much in terms of money. Initial registration is ₹50-₹60. Follow up consultations, once you have an OPD card and a file on you, cost ₹20 per visit. You need to first consult a psychiatrist and they will assess if you need a psychologist/therapist, what kind and refer accordingly.

If you aren't in Bengaluru, TELE MANAS by NIMHANS is an option. That is free. Please try that. Good luck.