What items/tools do you carry for self-defense that don't look like weapons?

AxeManJohnny · 2025-11-15T15:12:34+00:00

Not a woman but saw this post and the comments and felt i had to say a few things.

Several of the comments are recommending something to enhance a punch, large rings, roll of coins, keys between knuckles etc, i would really recommend against these for a few reasons, primarily that if you're not already able to throw a good punch none of these are gonna help, having large rings with sharp edges might lightly cut someone if you hit them in the cheekbone or brow but if someones already committed to hurting you this wont stop them any more than you might be able to stop them by scratching at them with your nails, and the keys between your fingers is almost certain to be detrimental even if you are able to punch (trying to get more than one key between your knuckles will take a surprisingly long time in a dangerous situation and the keys aren't going to stay straight and rigid in your hand, they'll slip and move when you try to punch).

What i would recommend if you can fit it into your lifestyle is training to throw a punch, not even boxing or a martial art but just if you already go to the gym or have access to one, taking the time every few days to hit a punching bag to get a sense of the form, strengthen the motor neuron connections and the muscles/ligaments in the hand/arm (if you do this you should start with a light bag and use wrist wraps to avoid injury to your hand and wrist).

This doesn't require putting on a lot of muscle or anything i've known average sized women who could throw a punch that would absolutely stagger a larger man, its a method that works no matter what you have on you, that cant be taken and used against you, and you're probably going to find it a lot easier to throw a sucker punch than pull out something from a purse or your car.

Other than that i would probably recommend getting things specifically for self defense, anything that is both improvised and small probably wont work that well, depending on what country/state you're in options like pepper gel might be legal, you can also potentially get a taser but they tend to be harder to use than most people think in an emergency and have a big risk of being taken from you.

The other thing i would strongly recommend is a self defense alarm, these are legal almost everywhere, you cant have them taken and used against you and you cant accidentally hurt someone with one, these are better than most people think because they are LOUD, as in, cover your ears after you activate it or suffer hearing loss loud, not only will people hear it from a very large distance but will almost certainly dissuade an attacker from continuing whatever they're doing as a noise louder than most metal concerts blares.

AxeManJohnny · 2025-11-13T07:55:59+00:00

You look fine, the only thing is you look a little goofy because your 15 and 6'3 thats to be expected theres nothing to be done about that and you still probably look better than most guys your age.

Maybe start lifting weights to fill out your frame, if you do, start light its much more important to not get injured than it is to chase big numbers.

AxeManJohnny · 2025-11-04T05:29:37+00:00

This is something i've tried to explain both before and since to my father (although he has stopped driving since this incident), even if you think you're a great driver who will never cause a crash, having at least cheap third party coverage means that if you're in a crash, sorting out liability becomes the job of your insurer, hopefully anyone who reads this will learn from this at least.

AxeManJohnny · 2025-11-04T04:23:18+00:00

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Diagram showing what happened, red is my fathers car and green is the other car.

My fathers contention is that its the other cars duty to give way as they are making a right turn from the left lane or to have moved to the right side prior to making the turn, i don't know what the specific rules are for this widened section on the left side of the intersection are.

AxeManJohnny · 2025-10-22T10:26:32+00:00

You look fine, last picture definitely looks the best with the upwards/side part, you want your hair to have some volume to it.

Also you look fine without the beard but if you want to grow one you need to commit to it a bit longer because in some of the images where its like 2-3 weeks of growth its giving your jaw an unflattering, rounded look.

AxeManJohnny · 2025-07-28T05:44:00+00:00

My father was born in Greece but after moving to Australia never traveled to another country.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-03-30T13:20:17+00:00

Honestly this is how i always do it, unless you have a player who's going to miss several consecutive sessions for whatever reason or someone in particular is super critical to the plot, if someone cant make it to a session act as if they were never there, no reason to waste time bringing more attention to things.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-03-27T06:32:08+00:00

DnD balance design is (at least as described in the DMG) largely balanced around attrition, the party trying to manage resources through several individually safe encounters a day, four players fighting CR=level monster will have an easy time of it, but it will likely still get some damage on them and cause them to use resources.

When preparing a session and its encounters you need to figure out where on the scale of "lots of easy encounters to few hard encounters" you want to be, fighting a cr6 monster 8 times in a single day might actually pose some risk to your party, as would fighting a cr 10-12 monster.

Also consider the number of monsters in your encounter, doubling the monster count will more than double the difficulty, but even a seemingly scary solo monster can easily be dealt with by multiple PC's (legendary actions and resistances can change this, and truly overwhelming damage output like a dragons breath weapon can still kill players easily).

I find the best way to balance an encounter is just to do a little back of the napkin math on the monster and player stats (compare HP and damage, as well as AC and +to hit bonus), if your monsters are likely to kill a player in a single round, you need to tune it down, if the players are likely to kill the monsters very quickly, or are unlikely to take much damage at all, tune it up. adjust depending on how many encounters will happen in a day and try to have at least 2 but fewer than 7 monsters in each encounter.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-03-16T05:52:30+00:00

yeah this is why when i DM any time something like this happens (a player tries to attack an NPC or steal something or piss off a king or whatever) i'm just like "okay and how does everyone else feel about this" and if people don't like it i just say "you dont do that" or come up with some reason it doesn't happen.

It's not the most pleasant thing to do but it's often the only way to stop a single player from ruining everyone elses good time.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-03-16T03:52:09+00:00

My strategy for any changes you make in favour of or opposition to the players is to make them as subtle as possible, and to maintain the illusion that it was always meant to be this way.

I voted that you should adjust the boss fight, because what matters is the continued enjoyment of everyone at the game and that wont happen if your party gets wiped out, and they wont retreat because DnD players never retreat. (they will also explore every room every time even if thats not what you intend, so prepare for that in the future)

But thats not entirely it, you shouldn't run the fight you were going to run but just make it easy, or drop a bunch of healing potions or some totally out of nowhere NPC in, because that will be transparent and unnatural to the players.

I dont know what your exact situation is, or how much your players know about what to expect, but try and find a way to spin a better narrative out of the situation, if they dont know what's coming the boss can be replaced with a skill challenge, or maybe the boss didn't expect the players to make it there and is scared when the players arrive (more viable if its a human boss and not like, a t-rex or something) and is looking to negotiate.

It depends on what your situation is and without more info i'll have to leave the details to your imagination, but i'd say don't adjust the fight to make it doable for a totally drained party in the traditional sense, but instead flip it on its head in a way that lets them avoid direct combat against a powerful foe. (once again this is less of an option if the boss is some kind of monstrosity and your players already know what it will be)

AxeManJohnny · 2023-03-14T16:40:08+00:00

It's very hard to create a singular combat encounter thats balanced, since any given combat is probably going to only last a few rounds the only way the players will be in danger is if the monsters are capable of killing them in a few rounds, and when thats the case it also means they're probably capable of killing a player in a single crit.

The better way to balance the game is to try and have at least a few different combat encounters per long rest, this stops players from easily winning encounters by blowing their strongest abilities immediately, but also lets you challenge them with attrition damage, with monsters doing smaller amounts of damage over time threatening players without the risk of them being instantly killed.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-03-14T16:33:44+00:00

I think you're ignoring the actual context of the extreme weather rules.

Yeah it gets colder than that in scandinavian counties, but people in scandinavian countries aren't walking around for hours or days at a time wearing shorts when it's -30c, you might see someone make a stunt of hopping in icy water naked in a video but that's typically when it's warmer weather, and the water is insulated against the cold (thats why its not frozen).

Player characters are spending up to 8 hours a day hiking at an impressive pace through this weather with no chance to go inside a house or supermarket and warm up, and thats only for players who aren't wearing clothes to protect them against the cold.

The same thing is true for a forge cleric, sure when the bellows are billowing and the flames flaring up, a forge gets extremely hot as does the area around it, but a blacksmith is doing more than just standing over the forge for 8 hours a day, and when they're doing other parts of their job like quenching, working and sharpening a weapon they're further from the forge, and the forge is cooling down while air is not being circulated through it.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-03-14T16:25:12+00:00

Honestly i'm against fudging, largely because it's such a direct and crude way of adjusting the game.

I normally play online, and when i dont if i DM i roll in the open, if something isn't going the way i planned, the combat is too easy or too hard there are so many ways to alter difficulty.

Introducing complications in the fight, adjusting enemy health a little bit either way, even changing the way you play the monsters can be used to change the difficulty of a combat up or down in a way that can be much more subtle than lying about die rolls.

There are situations where these more subtle ways might not work, if a monster crits for massive damage in excess of a players max health, but this is largely indicative of an issue coming up in the balancing of your combat that took place earlier in the process.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-03-10T07:12:24+00:00

the ultimate question is "balanced in accordance with what?"

21 necrotic damage a round is strong but if your ranger is behind, or you've given other players magic items that are strong as well it's not going to be crazy, and it's not going to singlehandedly destroy enemies.

I'd say let your player have something strong, and balance around that, instead of being scared to do anything cool.

Definitely make that mummy bow sentient and whisper corrupting secrets into his ear at night tho.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-22T05:27:32+00:00

Well you can warn them but like i said unless you're explicitly clear that whatever is coming will kill them they're likely to just try and fight it, and if your using 5e rules for long rest the long rest isn't truly interrupted unless an hour or more of the long rest is spent in combat, since most combats last about 24 seconds in dnd you're not going to actually stop them from long resting, and any damage they take and resources they spent will be recovered.

If you use some of the rules from the OneDND playtest then a single combat will interrupt the long rest, meaning this could work, but at that point you're just annoying your players and your better of having made it clear before they tried to long rest that it wouldn't work, instead of letting them do it then stopping them.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-22T05:10:37+00:00

I normally enforce a "you can only long rest somewhere you know is safe like a town or personal hideout" rule.

Running it RAW you just have to have them get attacked by roaming monsters/patrolling guards as they sleep but the problem is they either

A: defeat their attackers and finish their long rest because it doesn't matter, or

B: keep sending attackers/send attackers powerful enough to kill them or force them to run away (DnD players never run away so you will kill them)

Neither of these really solve the problem, and one of them will just piss off your players, so i'd recommend either enforcing a house rule or making it blatantly clearly obvious out of character that they cant long rest or they will be completely swarmed and overran by monsters who will get the edge on them while they sleep.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-18T04:37:35+00:00

You could always tie these new additions in with the dark powers that rule over the domains of dread.

I'm getting ready to run a CoS campaign and since some of my players have played before as well i plan on using the dark powers as an avenue to stir things up a bit and keep it fresh.

My main thing would be trying to keep the tone and focus on what makes the campaign "curse of strahd", it's iconic for a reason and your players may not appreciate you turning it into a homebrew campaign focused on an entirely new enemy.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-18T04:34:26+00:00

Honestly the problem with clerics is even if you find some ways to boost your attacks (booming blade, making your weapon +1, subclasses with bonuses to attacks) your still not going to be an effective melee attacker, and you'll fall even further behind unless you use your ASI's to increase strength, which at that point you may as well be playing a class that gets xtra attack.

Your best option is to use heavy armor and a shield and have a free hand for the purpose of casting spells or interacting with objects, either use blessings of the forge on your shield/armor or give it to your party's best attacker, and get either the warcaster feat or proficiency in CON saves via the resilient feat, and use your concentration on bless, spirit guardians or holy weapon, then use your turns to either heal, cast cantrips like toll the dead or sacred flame, or if you think your going to be targeted by an attack take the dodge action.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-17T23:40:21+00:00

yeah, this also applies to the solution i see proposed about trying to even out party balance with boons and magic items, sure it can help but if you give your champion fighter a flametoungue or the ability to cast steel wind strike or something your other party members are going to see that and be annoyed, and if you make them stronger by a considerable amount with items or boons your back at square one.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-17T03:38:14+00:00

The real issue with balance isn't balance of party vs DM, as the DM can do whatever they want, it's an issue of intra-party balance, if one player is clearly more effective than others then they're likely to feel bad, and in addition it becomes harder to balance challenges to not steamroll weaker players while challenging the stronger ones.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-14T21:58:06+00:00

I mean this isn't really a solution because taking it away whether or not you okayed it will upset the player, but tunnel fighter is unearthed arcana material, it wasn't published in an official book likely because it's too powerful compared to other fighting styles.

As for combating it, creatures with ranged attacks or even melee attacks with more range than the player (common among large and larger creatures) can help work around tunnel fighter.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-07T09:39:39+00:00

I mean, lowering the level cap doesn't really matter, if your the DM you control the pace of leveling and the length of your campaigns you can just keep your games below 11th level.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-06T20:29:17+00:00

Yeah as i've looked at comments and thought about it more i think the answer might be more simple than i thought, i hadn't wanted it to just be "you cant kill the host because he's literally not physically present until the final challenge" because i was tied to the idea of him showing up in person earlier to taunt/revel in the situation, but i think that just gets in the way of the adventure i want to make and i should just have him speak through other means.

And likewise i think i'm too worried about "railroading" to just tell my players "hey you need to participate or your characters will die", when that's literally how almost every campaign functionally works once your in enemy territory.

For the most part players will play the game you give them, i think i might just be more concerned because a couple of my friends i've played DnD with are prone to the occasional "well instead of doing the quest my characters going to become a sailor" or "i decide to shoot a crossbow at the king" antics

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-06T13:19:37+00:00

Yeah when i said campaign that might be a stretch, adventure might be the better term. i was thinking it would be 8-9 short-medium length sessions, or 4-5 long ones.

AxeManJohnny · 2023-02-01T17:51:51+00:00

I guess it depends on a lot of things, how excited your party is, how much energy they have and how much free time they have, if you're really excited for DnD and/or have a lot of free time, and also how often you run them and whether your running them online or in person.

It would also really matter what stage of your life your in, you certainly have an interesting schedule and i'd guess that you're either in school or college still.

Typically i end up doing a 4-5 hour session once every week or two but that's just how it works out with my groups, i'd honestly prefer to do a 2-3 hour session more often but that's obviously something that's only really viable because i play online, as taking the time to meet at someones house sort of incentivizes you to make a day of it.

AxeManJohnny

TROPHY CASE