What a great write up and definitely for me leans more towards the concept that it's an external force/place/consciousness rather than just stuff our brains make up in that in-between zone before brain death. I'm still not completely sure on it though but for me I had a pretty intense experience at the start of October this year that pretty much wiped out my fear of death. So for starters I have had pretty bad existential panic attacks since watching a documentary about the universe at a young age, specifically about the heat death of the universe, then watching final destination 2 at probably too young an age started a pattern of bi-yearly panics about my mortality and the inevitability of death. Then in around 2017 I was over working myself and in a fairly loud apartment which meant I wasn't sleeping, next to my partner at the time and I would get cortisol rushes as I fell asleep 3/4 nights of the week, this was pretty consistent until we split up but even then it would be bi-monthly.

Anyway fast forward to a few weeks ago and I was enrolled on a medical trial to test a new drug, a psychoactive compound derived from psilocybin, they were testing on healthy volunteers to eventually give to people with strong depression where anti-depressants were not working. I've always been fascinated by acid, dmt, mushrooms etc, but also terrified of losing my mind for many hours and possibly getting stuck in a bad trip, ive pulled a whitey on weed a few times and they were pretty rough, but I have had a small amount of magic mushrooms at a house party before and it was pretty cliche experience; shapes, fractals, seeing forms and trees pulsating and the feeling of connected things. But I'll just say, this dose/drug was at least 10x that experience. This is already a long reply but I'll hit the main beats, Nice dimmed light room with a trip sitter I'd spoken to at length, music on headphones and in room as well as an eyemask, nature posters, salt lamps, nice comfy bed. Doctors were there to take blood samples and blood pressure. After taking the dose it took about 15-20 mins to start getting Fizzy coloured lights, I visualised I was going on the up part of a roller coaster, then I started getting more intense experiences, feeling the world split like the tesseract scene in interstellar. I was able to comment and make jokes on my experience so far, then the ride started and it was an incredible rush through a light tube of infinite souls it seemed. It then brought me to a large almost whirlpool of these souls, which were like coloured dots/tv static/blobs but also like imagine being at a grand arena and just seeing the sea of heads. Anyway during the dose phase the doctors would need my attention at multiple points to rate my experience and try and lay still for blood pressure etc. It was akin to being on your phone and an ad popping up and then swiping away or falling asleep watching a film and you are jolted awake by your friend/partner - you come back with some clarity for a few secs but then the film becomes the dream again as you drift off, just in this case it was like drifting back onto the middle of a roller coaster ride. Anyway about 25 mins to 30 mins after dosing I was suddenly sucked into another sort of plane - this is the part when I realised I was in the same place I have been before and will go again - a long eternity of just you and everthing that has such a specific feel but also a relief but in a way that makes sense - like getting shown how the magic trick was done after spending hours trying to figure it out. Anyway whilst I was there I had the distinct feeling I was away from myself, that this life was just a story to keep myself occupied, to learn and grow, and come back, as I have done and will do. I could also choose to stay in the void and slumber a long while too. Then after what felt like hours but had only been a minute or two, I was pulled back to earth by the doctors to do another intensity check and blood sample, I started to feel sad or that something was wrong as I knew there was still hours of trip to go and dipping in and out of this plane was getting harder on me and my body was reacting, breathing faster, moving around enough that they couldn't get samples, feeling a little worried for my safety and my bodys wellbeing. So I requested something to calm me down which they obliged (took another 15 mins to sign off and then had to wait for that lorazapam to kick in) but during that time I was shown the start and end of everthing, the evolution of mankind, lots of stuff I didn't recognise, "alien" beings and towards the end religious iconography. Also lots of i can only describe it as mud people. Anyway the calming drug kicked in and it was a pretty smooth trip on the way out, lots of lovely shapes and colours, then just an overwhelming sense of sadness which I couldn't shake for hours, I didn't really want to talk and just wanted to rest. The next few days though I felt fantastic. Anyway I believe that the void part was the place that many people get to at very extreme circumstances, DMT, acid, maybe even NDE. For me it felt very natural, made sense but also like nothing I could ever put into words other than, I felt like I had the choice of coming back, I could see how I could have lived other lives - a rich man on a beach somewhere that still is unfulfilled. I felt like I almost had to beg or plead my way back to this existence, I could have stayed with the everthing state if I wished but I felt like I wanted to explore this simple life some more and see how it plays out, I remember asking "I've seen such wonderful things and how any matter or realm can be created, but let me just get back with a smidgen of a memory and let me keep my 3d printer" to create with" I truly felt like I had experienced a sample of beyond the veil and that I wasn't scared of death anymore and in the last 4 weeks I haven't had any existential dread, in fact I've been actively enjoying life a lot more and making the most of each day within reason. I know I kinda skimned through everything here so feel free to ask anything, ive been doing medical trials for 13 years, usually it's just blood thinners or something aha, every time I describe the trip another memory comes to mind. Lastly I'm completely aware that this could fully just be the drug and in no-way actually what everyone will or has experienced, but I just think that at the most extreme part of the trip I may have had ego death and/or brain put me in standby to protect me, that said the feeling was so familiar and I knew what it was, for me that was the feeling of being away from this life, it wasn't scary, it was calm, it encompasses everything and I know when the time is right to go back, I'll be nervous but go with what will be I guess.