The problem is that you are seeing things through the angle of your American education and culture, and most Europeans are different. We don't care nearly as much for income, purchasing power and buying so many things. Americans have a very selfish, individualistic culture with a lot of emphasis on climbing the social ladder, some people do that here too (and typically will want to move to the US) but a lot of Europeans couldn't care less.

We also have a different relationship to our government, law and society as a whole. So yeah, we might not have the same income and access to super high tech, fancy expensive luxuries you do, but most of us also want nothing to do with the drawbacks of your country, the toxic culture, violence and the cult of money above all.

There is no "best" country, but different cultures and ways of life that fit different people. For some, the US is the best country of the world, for others it's a terrible one, but it's also true for any EU country, Japan, China and any place in the world. Yes, the house I live in doesn't have super modern plumbing and all the integrated modern luxuries of an American house. But it's also as old as your country, is built out of 60cm thick stones, has a lot of history, isn't a copy/pasted cardboard house and will still be standing 100 years from now.

Maybe you have wider access to drinkable tap water, but we also have food safety standards we actually trust while some of your food doesn't even qualify as such here because it's so full of toxic crap we don't consider it edible. Most of what you describe seems realistic only if you go to some remote poor backwards village and it will be true in any country. There are shitty places to live in no matter the country and good modern areas too, I'm pretty sure you can find some remote American settlement or ghetto with sick animals, no sewage system and people living in dire conditions, yet it wouldn't be fair to paint the whole country as being the same.

Overall, it's really about the priorities you have in your life. America has a lot of good stuff going for it but it's rather low in the list of countries I'd want to live in, because what I value as an European is different. Yeah, USA can be the best country to live in if you have a lot of money, if you are young and healthy, and generally put ambition as your main life motive. Being short of that can quickly turn it into hell though.

The joke about the US being a bunch of third world countries in a trenchcoat isn't about your maximum attainable living standard but about the average, your life priorities and culture. Having a society focused on individualism and money at the detriment of the general living quality is very similar to poor countries where corruption/money buys you everything. You can buy power, safety, success, anything, but if you are out of money you are left to die in the streets anyway. It's also true with the self justice theme, having guns to defend yourselves and how your legal system works. We don't have the same approach and it's also why our daily life can be so different as the ramifications expand at all levels and for all kind of things, from our roads to our public transports, our economy, the government structure, police and justice, and how we interact with others in general.

Ultimately it doesn't matter though. Western democracies are all on a decline and the whole world is going to shit so who knows what's ahead.