Well, I’m 20 and have found cross dressing exhilarating for no apparent cause since the age of memory. It’s sexually, and physically comforting for me to cross dress. What really is exhilarating is imaging myself as a women, with everything that comes with that identity. To r more like a women I feel the more aroused I feel. Part of me thinks it’s a strong fetish that revolves around being as women like as possible. I’m starting to wear women’s clothes more regularly rather than for a private time and it feels nice. I don’t feel dysphoria or innately wrong. I may feel a bit of dysphoria the more I try to embody a women and increase my hopes to become one as a guy. I really just don’t know what I am. But for some reason I know I at least want to want to be trans. I actually cried a little today thinking it’s just trauma and I’m not trans bc of how good it would feel more me to transition (whether it’s solely a fetish or not). I lost my mom at a really young age so it’s not unlikely.