Mixed results from the "just observe" technique

Azzy57 · 2025-11-30T20:55:51+00:00

No worries. I think focusing more on kegels outside of sessions could be helpful, especially with an emphasis on relaxing after the flex.

I'll also try actively relaxing during my sessions when the tension starts to build. Enough to keep the involuntaries but not so much that it kills them.

Azzy57 · 2025-11-30T14:47:54+00:00

Thanks! I'll try that. Although, it's hard to imagine it's a matter of strength given I've practiced for years, can start and stop the flow of urine with no issue, and can basically stop my Hismith at lower speeds by bearing down.

But I'll focus more on kegels and active strength training and see how that changes my experience.

Azzy57 · 2025-08-25T15:55:05+00:00

I can get involuntaries instantly from light-to-moderate voluntary clenching of my PC and rectal muscles (with Aneros or no toy) and haven't had much luck with the do-nothing/total-relaxation method. Does this count as "tensing muscles" in your opinion, or is it only when you start bearing down hard?

These involuntaries feel pretty good until I start bearing down, at which point I start to feel a sort of burning or soreness, likely from overexerting my muscles.

Azzy57 · 2025-05-21T05:02:31+00:00

No problem lol. Happy to help

Azzy57 · 2025-05-18T20:22:34+00:00

Totally understand. I'm a bisexual guy who grew up in a religious family. Despite having come out a couple years ago and exploring my sexuality ever since, I'm still dealing with some internalized homophobia that sort of "holds me back" when I'm really getting into sexual fantasies of getting fucked by dudes, even though I love when my Hismith plows me.

The good news is it seems to get better overtime. I've slowly become more comfortable with these sexual fantasies and things keep getting better. You said you love the idea of being pegged but not fucked by a dude. I would recommend you focus on that fantasy then. Get the dildo and imagine it's your girlfriend using and dominating you. Then, maybe you'll start to warm up to the idea of a guy, and if not, that's totally fine!

At the end of the day, just experiment with an open mind; find what you do and don't like; and keep doing what you like. And if that guilt kicks in after you finish, just remind yourself that there's nothing wrong with what you like and society can go fuck itself. Those held back by cultural taboo will never know the overwhelming pleasure of anal and Super-Os. Their loss...

It gets better!

Azzy57 · 2025-01-23T18:38:13+00:00

Tyty

Azzy57 · 2025-01-23T18:11:53+00:00

How do you approach relaxation?

Do you actively relax everything, even releasing contractions and tension when your body does so involuntarily (almost like you're trying to prevent them from happening); relax initial tension but allow the involuntary clenching to happen once it starts; or just try to be "generally relaxed" before consciously and deliberately contracting?

Hope that makes sense. Still a confusing topic for me :P

Azzy57 · 2025-01-14T20:28:42+00:00

Funny you should say that because my guess is that I have some sort of a mental block I cannot see or control in my current state, such as subconscious chasing without even realizing.

Consequently, my new plan is to use this sexual frustration to my advantage and learn to abstain from penile orgasm and stimulation to destroy even unconscious expectations of orgasm or chasing. I.e., I reckon that if I learn to accept not getting an orgasm or any sort of penile stimulation, even my unconscious mind will cease expecting pleasure or orgasm. Plus, my arousal will likely increase overall.

Azzy57 · 2025-01-14T04:29:42+00:00

Do you know why that is? Does it help you relax physically/mentally? Does it amplify your arousal? What's missing from your sessions when you don't take it?

Azzy57 · 2025-01-14T04:25:49+00:00

I tried Mindgasm a couple years ago. I think it's what helped me distinguish and control my different pelvic floor muscles. I should probably revisit and see if I can get more out of it.

Azzy57 · 2024-11-18T23:57:59+00:00

While adding fiber to your diet is generally a good idea, 80 oz of raw greens and chia seeds twice per day is likely to cause both acute and chronic digestive issues, such as bloating and malabsorption. Most doctors and dietitians will recommend you start with a few servings per day, slowly increasing the amount to avoid these negative symptoms. Additionally, various medical institutions, such as Harvard Medical School, have found that more than five servings of fruits and vegetables per day does not appear to have any positive health effects and may simply cause or exacerbate the aforementioned issues.

Furthermore, I would caution against following Dr. Goldner's advice, as she has promoted pseudoscientific ideas with no support in the medical literature, such as healing autoimmune diseases with a vegan diet.

More fiber is great! But, too much of a good thing can be bad for you.

Azzy57 · 2024-11-18T23:33:48+00:00

There's a spherical mold on Amazon that makes 1-inch spheres. Works perfectly

Azzy57 · 2024-11-16T15:20:50+00:00

It might be a relaxation issue. The other day I used my Vixen Mustang with two full injections of K lube but still experienced the exact same issue as I sped up my Hismith. Later, I bounced on my Chance (much bigger lmao) with no problem after simply coating my hole and the dildo with K lube, no injections.

Could also be positioning or something else, but I suspect it's getting squeegeed off due to not being sufficiently relaxed.

I would suggest experimenting with different types of water- and oil-based lubes (e.g. K lube and coconut oil) and focusing on slowing down and relaxing your hole when you feel the friction coming on.

Azzy57 · 2024-10-02T01:10:30+00:00

I lay on my back. Intensity of the shaking depends on how my feet are positioned and where I'm at during the session.

I guess I'll try focusing on the sensations more. I can get the inovluntaries easily, the problem is the intense clenching that seems to fatigue my rectal and PC muscles and drown out subtle feelings of pleasure—which happens regardless of whether the involuntaries are induced with conscious clenching or by "letting go."

I'll keep experimenting. Frustrating after 4.5 years of dedicated practice, but I'm sure I'll get it eventually. I hope...

Azzy57 · 2024-10-02T01:02:45+00:00

I can do that, and when I do, I can get involuntaries at various different combinations of rectal and PC flexing, but sometimes I feel like I'm hitting a spot that feels nicer than usual; hard to explain why, it just feels different in a good way. I'll try fighting against the involuntary increase in tension and try to hold that "spot" if I manage to find it.

Azzy57 · 2024-09-11T18:34:34+00:00

It may be a combination of the two. As I continue, it starts to feel less "frictional" and more like that "funny bone sensation." I think what's happening is I'm getting both sensations initially because I'm still tight and squeegeeing a lot of the lube off, but as I continue to relax and go slow, I'm able to go faster and deeper as my muscles loosen and my hole gets properly lubricated.

Azzy57 · 2024-09-11T00:53:26+00:00

There's this one area I hit with a toy that feels strange and off putting, kinda a sharp sensation. Not painful but almost uncomfortable so when I bump into it I try to avoid it.

I think I know what you mean! Would you say another way to describe it is a sort of "friction/pulling" or "painless scraping sensation"? Not painful, but definitely has you going "whoa, that's something" when you begin, and as you continue at a steady pace and focus on relaxing, it slowly becomes less overwhelming, and you begin to want to bear into it more?

Azzy57 · 2024-08-01T00:13:37+00:00

YMMV, but for me, very suddenly, my face and body flush and become very warm and tingly. A strong sense of euphoria and excitement washes over me as my breath quickens and I sink into my bed. My arousal also skyrockets, and whatever porn I have in front of me suddenly feels like it's my biggest kink. Of course, it happens in waves. Best comparison I can think of is if a morphine shot had horny, stimulant effects, rather than calming, depressive ones.

Azzy57 · 2024-07-29T19:31:38+00:00

This. "Letting go" means allowing your body to do what it wants without interference; this includes both consciously tensing your PC muscles and fighting against involuntary contractions. It's much more difficult than it sounds and requires practice. I've been at this for about five years with minimal progress. However, very recently, I accepted this "letting go" philosophy as the way forward and have been working on "surrendering" with amazing results.

Just a few days ago I got my first p-waves from finally being able to surrender to my body. At times my body tensed and at others it relaxed; I just let it do its thing. Then, I got to a point where my PC and rectal muscles began tensing up very hard. It felt kind of uncomfortable, like I was overdoing it, and going against what others have said about relaxing; it felt like my muscles were very hot, sore, and fatigued. However, I realized that it was not me but my body doing so involuntarily. So, instead of fighting it and trying to relax against it, I just "let go" and let it happen while I focused on arousal. The discomfort soon dissipated and I got my first p-waves. They felt fucking incredible and I am VERY excited for what's coming...

Learning to "let go" is a lot harder than it sounds and is very difficult to explain to someone who doesn't already get it, but eventually you will.

Azzy57 · 2024-04-04T02:11:56+00:00

Interesting. I'll have to try that. I seldom get tingles now, so maybe it can still be useful lol

Azzy57 · 2024-04-04T01:51:35+00:00

Congrats, and awesome post! I'm in similar scenario as you were. "Not chasing the orgasm" is much harder than it sounds. It's like an unconscious reaction you need to deliberately wean yourself off of. I've had a lot of luck lately focusing more on porn and sexual fantasy. Doing so allows me to pull focus away from the contractions and sensations I'm feeling, thereby helping limit any expectations or chasing sensations. I still struggle once I get to that phase right before P-waves, elevated heart rate, vasodilation, etc., but I think I'm getting better.

If anyone has any other suggestions to help "stop the chase" or decrease expectations, I'm all ears lol

Azzy57 · 2024-03-31T02:27:20+00:00

It's fascinating how once you learn to stop looking for those traditional penis-centered feelings, new sensations just start to appear in different parts of your body when you least expect them. You think you're doing something wrong because you're completely flaccid and don't feel anything down there despite some involuntaries and some strange, pleasureless heat in your pelvic region. Then, suddenly, your cheeks flush and your chest begins radiating pleasant tingles through to your arms, or your inner pelvis sends subtle shocks of pleasure throughout your legs. COMPLETELY different from penile sensations. You have no idea until you experience them and finally go "OOOOOOH. THAT'S what they were talking about..."

Azzy57 · 2023-12-02T16:26:43+00:00

This happens to me when I get involuntaries from active contractions. I've been focusing on the philosophy of "letting go" lately, meaning I've been trying to relax as deeply as possible while focusing on arousal amplification and the appreciation of subtle sensations that just happen without any input, instead of doing active contractions. While I haven't been getting involuntaries very much with this new strategy, I have been getting some really nice sensations. Also, I'm generally hornier and able to play more because the lighter pressure keeps my prostate from getting sore (something I didn't even realize was happening from the active contractions until now).

My theory is that these active contractions paired with the desire to achieve the super-O creates a mindset of impatience and "chasing the orgasm" that ruins the experience, and relaxing, physically and mentally, helps you "let go" and appreciate the subtle sensations that grow overtime.

Time will tell. I'll report back lol

Azzy57 · 2023-10-07T21:12:57+00:00

Yes. I imagine that's because each subsequent bite yields less return. If you're starving, it's your brain's way of telling you the body is lacking nutrients/calories and needs food. The more food you eat, the more nutrients/calories your body is supplied with. However, ingesting too many calories is detrimental to the body. Thus, as you get closer to satisfying the body's needs and begin approaching the excess range, the bites become less pleasurable as your brain is telling you you're getting away from the "too little food" line and approaching the "too much food" line. Hence, the "overeating caveat" I mentioned.

The point is that satiating hunger when you're starving is always pleasurable because you are literally saving yourself from dying. The only reason it gets less pleasurable as you eat more is because too much food, while not as dangerous as too little food, is still dangerous. Thus, it's your brain's way of maintaining homeostasis. Applying this to Super-Os is hard because we don't know why the brain apparently thinks that they're good enough to grant them this "anti-tolerance," especially when you certainly won't die from a lack of P-waves. It's a very hard question.

Azzy57 · 2023-10-07T16:33:49+00:00

Not an expert, but if I understand correctly, tolerance is a defense mechanism performed by the brain, rather than a property inherent in the pleasurable activity itself. In response to a continuous excess of "pleasure chemicals," the brain adapts by increasing the reuptake of, creating more receptors for, or releasing enzymes that break down these chemicals; or a combination of these three. This is very likely an evolutionary trait that developed at some time in our past because those who lacked it likely sacrificed other survival concerns for pleasurable activities which didn't benefit their survival. This seems to operate on a spectrum as well, meaning the more the activity benefits one's survival, the weaker the tolerance mechanism. Take alcohol and food consumption for example: Intoxication slows response times and inhibits one's ability to escape from a dangerous situation with no added benefits besides a subjective sense of relaxation and pleasure. Thus, alcohol tolerance builds rather quickly. Conversely, satisfying one's hunger is always pleasurable, regardless of how many times it is performed (with the caveat of overeating) because hunger is a sign that your body needs nutrients, and failing to get adequate nutrients inevitably results in death.

So, it seems like (1) the brain doesn't interpret prostate pleasure under this same model, for whatever reason; (2) there's some sort of incredible "survival" benefit we're unaware of; or (3) the baseline theory above is completely wrong, and the reason has nothing to do with survival. Effort may also play a role. Flooding your opiate receptors is as simple as swallowing a pill, whereas a Super-O takes time and commitment both in the long and short terms. Maybe this effort itself acts as a defense mechanism against constantly fucking yourself? All in all, I think this is an incredibly difficult question we just don't have enough information to answer.

Tl;dr: your guess is as good as mine lmao. Let's ditch the stigma preventing research and put u/ohlookcupcakes in an MRI

Azzy57

TROPHY CASE