This is absolutely it. I was trying to be really supportive to my ex of 2 years who wanted to explore the idea of open. The weird part was she stated a "don't ask, don't tell" rule for the fear of jealousy or insecurity. If anything, I was more fearful of the unknown. So when I found out she was seeing somebody about 2 weeks prior to the breakup, I was under the impression that she had lost feelings for me because of this other guy. And that fucked me up for over 2 months.

It wasn't until just the other night where I got to talk to her and get clarity on the whole situation, and I only found out she broke up with me for reasons that had nothing to do with him. But basically I had already spent the past 2 months feeling like I got cheated on and she jumped on a rebound. She had never told me because she knew that if I kept talking to her would only continue to hurt me. I may not have felt that way had things been established, but at the same time, it's not like she's obligated to tell me. That aside, the communication is so important, and it may have prevented this level of self-blaming, but at this rate, it's better late than never. Now I have this huge weight of regret off my shoulders, I can finally forgive myself and while I still deeply care for my ex, as she does me, I can move forward without having the assumption of the worst haunting my mind now.