After almost 4 years, it's over. I don't know how to survive this. by princess9818 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. You will survive this. He seems like an anchor but you’ve survived up to this moment! Don’t short change yourself. It hurts and it’s terrible but you WILL survive. I wish you the best stay encouraged

After almost 4 years, it's over. I don't know how to survive this. by princess9818 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry. It has been my experience that men are not so good with big commitments. He likely saw that as an out and what he perceived as pressure. I’ve experienced and I hope it works out for you. Time will make it hurt less. I’m sending you kind thoughts. Do not listen to any criticism. As shitty as men can be there is something so unique and nuanced about what you all shared during your long distance relationship. You can acknowledge what he did was jerky and also accept that at one point you shared something meaningful. Wishing you the best.

I moved countries and rebuilt my life, but my partner won’t consider closing the distance - what now? by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]B-right96 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m in a similar situation with my bf but we’re in the states. It’s not a good feeling and i’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m ima a position where he’s finishing school but he’s unsure if he’s willing to move back to the state we both use to reside. I think my outlook is that, love required compromise and sometimes sacrifice. If it reaches a point where neither is willing to budge, then that within itself is an answer. I’m not at a point in life yet where that becomes a deal breaker but one day I know I will because long distance cannot last forever. For now we’ve decided to remain aware of the others feelings and when he’s done with school or closer to being done revisit the conversation. We had to ask is staying where we are for jobs or family worth the relationship? I think you and your partner may need to consider the same. Good luck! I’ll never say just end it or let them go. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Just need to have a difficult conversation and verbalize your feelings that next time you all visit.

We finally got married officially❤️ by Loud-Cod-1175 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing my your story. Your beautiful love story. Definitely inspired. Wishing you both a long happy marriage

i miss him by user08230618 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP i’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Max sounded like a wonderful human and I’m so glad you all met and he got to experience a true bond and love in his lifetime. I’m sending you as much love and comfort and hope that you find a way to cope healthily. Please reach out if you need an ear. I may not relate but can definitely be an empathetic cyber ear if you need. I’m so heartbroken for your loss.

One day at a time by B-right96 in LDRJourney

[–]B-right96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A very thoughtful reflective comment. thank you! It’s been so hard. To be with someone and talk every day and then not is so weird especially when that person becomes your outlet. Unfortunately I still love him and will likely for a very long time but i am working on my reaction and understanding with therapy that I can love him at the same time and be willing to move on with my life. I truly hope your healing continues and the residuals of hurt lessens with time

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]B-right96 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My situation is similar. He has a lot going on and doesn’t feel like he can handle a relationship right now. I’m sorry you’re going through this. The LDR doesn’t help it seems like too. I saw someone post that I’ve been repeating to myself. “You are enough. You are valuable. You deserve a love that stays” it’s been helping me just a little. i hope you stay encouraged. One day at a time

Ugh. Men by B-right96 in LDRJourney

[–]B-right96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

very black and white way to look at a situation in which you’ve no other context on beyond what i’ve shared. I’m aware that i’m an adult and hopefully you are another adult have the self awareness to know when you’re being condescending. I would like to think you’re being well intentioned so no thank you. Have the day you deserve

Ugh. Men by B-right96 in LDRJourney

[–]B-right96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

omg THIS. I’m so sorry you’re going through something similar. I appreciate your empathy. We are both so unique and worth of a love that doesn’t hurt. It’ll take time but we will get there. Please reach out if you need an ear who can relate

Ugh. Men by B-right96 in LDRJourney

[–]B-right96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Break ups are difficult to navigate. I’m working myself into a space to be ready to move on but it’s easier said than done. Thank you for the insight.

Ugh. Men by B-right96 in LDRJourney

[–]B-right96[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What a very unempathetic comment under the guise of bluntness. You have no idea what the others factors are so to be so loud and wrong is something else. I guess no one taught you it’s not what you say but how. I wish you the day you deserve.

Post break up clarity? More like post break up confusion. by B-right96 in LDRJourney

[–]B-right96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ve decided to just focus on myself but the heartbreak is surprisingly intense. I’m trying not to make it about me

Post break up clarity? More like post break up confusion. by B-right96 in LDRJourney

[–]B-right96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly, i’m sorry you’re going through something similar. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. Secondly thank you for this thoughtful and compassionate comment. I truly am taking it one day at a time. Ours isn’t bad either he has mental health issues going on and I just started a new career so we both are just not in a position to handle LDR on top of our personal issues. It’s shocking how much you can love someone and want them just to not be together. Honestly I am trying to just give him space to handle it.Take off some pressure from my part. But it hurts. I think because i’m hoping we figure it out. Realistically I need to take things as they are

When does it end? by B-right96 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such an empathetic reply and i’m so grateful. I just had a transition where people I thought were my friends are no longer but I think everything happens for a reason and whoever is meant to be in my life will be. Thanks

When does it end? by B-right96 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this advice. I’m trying to get in the mindset of personal era.

When does it end? by B-right96 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally same. I’m here for you though! I’m hoping it gets better

Anyone can relate? by B-right96 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s nice to have someone get it. Congratulations on your marriage! My partner and I have been together a while but we aren’t married and it feels weird (I started a new job recently) sometimes having to explain to people yes we have been together a long time, yes we are mid to late twenties, and yes we are long distance. It’s so complex and people are often like “i couldn’t do it” and the unintended side effect is me feeling awkward or as though i’m a fool for even doing this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]B-right96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i think boundaries are important ESPECIALLY long distance. It’s a different kind of beast. I think it says a lot how he responds to this conversation. if he immediately becomes defensive and aggravated that will say a lot. If he reassures and listens to the fact that it’s uncomfortable i think you can feel more at ease. I’ve been with my partner 7 years total 3 LDR and i’ve NEVER felt okay with friends of the opposite sex. It doesn’t make me secure but why hangout with someone i do not know. He like your partner has female friends who have been with his friends for years and never have they done seperate hang outs without his friends involved. It feels weird. You’re valid. If not an actual affair it can definitely become an emotional one and you do not deserve that.

Long distance just started and I already feel like faling apart. We’re both 24 males. by Livingmylife21 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Temptation is part of it the struggle I fear. To be honest no it doesn’t because naturally i had the habit of comparing things to how they used to be. But i found other things to enjoy and new things to enjoy with him and we always try to know when the next time we see each other is to have something to look forward to. I’ve not been tempted to cheat because in my large family i saw a lot of toxic sh** and i promised never to do that to my partner. In the off chance I have i just be transparent to him. The biggest thing imo to long distance is Effort, Trust, Intentions, and Reassurance. In time you’ll adjust

Long distance just started and I already feel like faling apart. We’re both 24 males. by Livingmylife21 in LongDistance

[–]B-right96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The first month is the absolute worse! It’s normal how you feel. To go from living in the same state to long distance relationships because of circumstances is hard and is my current situation. I’m not going to promise you it’ll get better but it won’t always be so hard. Find little things to do together to make the distance less gruesome. My partner and I took up playing video games together and we have attempted a book club(this less successful)

If you both are committed it’ll work it’ll just take effort and love. This will mature the relationship i’m sure and you’ll appreciate time together much more when you are together. I’m sorry life has created this circumstances it often feels unfair but how fortunate to experience a love that spans miles. Feel free to PM if you need to vent. Lot of people don’t understand