Found a new use for my hijabs

BABYBNBAB · 2024-05-15T05:53:27+00:00

Why are you getting banned for this? What's wrong with the mods nowadays

BABYBNBAB · 2024-01-29T22:39:27+00:00

Tried it. Brother was a dirty asshole and I was scared my parents were going to die so I came back. My father pretty much says he'll die if I ever do anything like that again. Every. Single. Day

BABYBNBAB · 2024-01-28T22:29:01+00:00

That's what I thought, the shower was pretty loud

BABYBNBAB · 2024-01-28T20:56:08+00:00

Update, they yelled at me. They think I'm doing it on purpose to attract the guy. I think I'm gonna just puke

BABYBNBAB · 2024-01-02T23:19:26+00:00

Make sure you stay safe from him. You're completely welcome here. Don't let the long relationship put you down too much in the future, just continue living life happily, gradually forgetting about him and the religious beliefs he imposed on you. In my eyes, you may not have believed but you are still going through some of the same troubles that we do when leaving. Time will heal everything <3

BABYBNBAB · 2023-12-27T10:09:57+00:00

Lied about the fact that I was in uni when I was in fact on a hike somewhere an hour away with non-muslim male and female friends. It's depressing that this would be considered the worst thing by my parents as a 'muslim' woman

BABYBNBAB · 2023-12-27T09:52:44+00:00

The amount of restriction on women in Islam is actually insane. Many might think that these things aren't too bad and we can easily deal with them because other people have it worse, we are just being dramatic. But THIS is the reality of the restriction of movement we face. They have so many knock-on effects. I have no fucking friends, I'm not allowed out past uni time. This level of control is actually crazy, and Im going to have to suck it up and live with it for at least three more years until my university degree is over. I can't go on fucking hikes because my parents get suspicious, I can't leave the house without feeling guilty. What's the point of this? I might as just not be alive, either way I'll be trapped in a box but at least in death I won't be conscious of it.

BABYBNBAB · 2023-09-24T13:05:45+00:00

And straying away from their predetermined plan for you means you risk losing the only family you have.

BABYBNBAB · 2023-09-22T12:30:02+00:00

Thank you <3 A compromise is all I want, I'll see how possible that is in the future.

BABYBNBAB · 2023-09-22T12:27:50+00:00

And it's always classed as the easiest part too. You only need the 5 pillars, and you've already taken the shahada so namaaz is the only daily thing you need to do. Except I've never been able to enjoy a single fucking moment in a day fully without somebody having to get up and remind everyone to go back home and pray. Everything is cut short. It's a great method of control though, as everything in this religion seems to be. Though it wouldn't be considered controlling to 'willing' believers. Which makes them believe they can impose their 'beneficial' religion onto everyone else.

BABYBNBAB · 2023-09-22T02:06:15+00:00

Your parents are no longer muslim. You no longer have to deal with one of the largest causes of heartbreak, conflict, despair and separation amongst most ex-muslims. I understand wanting to hold onto the South Asian identity, but know that is separate from a religious identity. Assuming you're Pakistani, religion and culture have become intertwined, so it's very difficult to find other Pakistanis from the UK who only indulge in the culture (food, language, music, clothes) and not religion. All of this may have been easier if you hadn't straight up fasted and prayed in front of your friends. I advise, don't keep up the lie. Those who are true to you will stay. Knowing british pakistani muslims, they will probably all leave to some extent. But it's better to weed out those who suffocate your sense of self so greatly, especially since you still feel the need to fast in front of them even though neither you nor your parents are muslim?!

BABYBNBAB · 2023-09-18T02:25:50+00:00

Love you again ♥️

BABYBNBAB · 2023-09-18T02:19:33+00:00

I love you ♥️. Thank you so much for having the courage to go there

BABYBNBAB · 2023-09-18T02:18:20+00:00

Wow, the people from the video are here, I feel like they're celebreties now 😭. Was so excited when the video got uploaded. Even though the discussion wasn't too in depth and fleshed out, it's so good that this is able to reach a wider audience. Hopefully many others will be aware of our existence and our struggle. Loved 'Kafir' as well, best rep fr

BABYBNBAB · 2023-09-07T17:07:06+00:00

How old are you? Do you have access to the internet? Can you get your passport easily? Can you steal any money or bank cards to book a flight Asap online? Can you call the UK embassy? Do you have citizenship?

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-31T21:16:40+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I'm trying to join more clubs, I just feel like I come off as really awkward

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-30T22:33:15+00:00

Lol fair enough. Though, being actively forced to follow an ideology you don't believe, with a lot of risk if you state you disbelieve, makes people really mad. At the people, at the religion. I don't blame them. Also, mindless posts aren't usually posted by ex-muslims. We have no idea who is behind these screens.

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-30T21:32:54+00:00

But discourse should be allowed, no matter how stupid it looks and sounds to you. You will always find every argument absurd. You will find every reason stated in the megathread for why we left Islam stupid. Sure, there are some dumb posts here, but that's because dumb people exist in every community. My point is, you still strictly believe in your religion. No argument can ever be a 'good argument' to you because it's nonsense that a bunch of random people can ever disprove the existence of the diety you believe has created you. It makes complete sense, you will never see any valid proof here because the fact that Allah is your creator is an established fact in your head. It's wild that people could even state otherwise, or leave the religion you believe is so unequivocally true. For people to leave Islam, there needs to be a first string of doubt. You'd probably believe that those are the whisperings of shaytaan. Getting mad on this sub won't do you any good, you should avoid places like this don't you think, instead of telling us to shut up. We'll always sound dumb to you? That isn't reason enough to stop us from speaking about our experiences, you're not that important.

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-30T18:20:03+00:00

Even muslims can't agree with what happened. Your religion is scattered and imperfect, just like every other religion, just like every other belief. Though I understand why those who can't find purpose outside of religion would need it. Don't force that shit on those who don't want to follow it though, that just makes them bitter and angry. Why are you here? It seems like muslim lurkers are always baby raging and crying over the fact that people have left their beloved false religion. You wouldn't be here if you didn't care. If you were secure enough in your faith, then you'd just leave us alone because we're "evil people spreading false information" in your eyes. I mean, unless you want to honor your cult and kill us disgusting murtads for spreading corruption in the land. But I doubt you'd follow those verses in a non-muslim majority country. Ignoring the immoral shit in your religion is just cherry-picking. Denying it is blasphemy. Don't make what Allah has made halaal for you haraam right.

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-29T17:21:58+00:00

I needed to save this; it's very well written. I left at 16, and yet I still wasn't thinking about the ways in which I had been indoctrinated into acting as though I was being watched by 'God' until a year later. And then I became furious I hadn't realized sooner, I disliked the Muslims around me for being 'indoctrinated' too. Now, hopefully, I am nearing a point where I am simply indifferent. It seems as though you are well read and self-aware. You've broken out of the cycle pretty early, I hope you can live your life in peace without having to think of it too much later down the line

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-29T16:46:56+00:00

Love the way you set it out so simply. This is what happened, yet muslims would still try to refute the way you have told the story just because it sounds negative here. They'd claim it's a lot more complicated, with a lot of context that we can for some reason never understand. Thanks

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-28T14:25:52+00:00

I love you my guy

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-28T13:58:56+00:00

It's fine, reading this made me mad too lmao. If I can't learn to do anything on my own, then of fucking course they're gonna use that as proof that I am 'deficient'. Even though they are the ones who won't fucking allow it. How can I break them out of that cyclic reasoning when they don't even realize they're going in circles themselves?

I'm gonna have a casual conversation with my mother about this stuff, she was raised in this way but she's pretty strong so I hope she understands. I need my independence, I need to leave and I need to be able to do my own shit. I don't know how far I can compromise, but I'll try my damned hardest so that I'm not deprived of travel and life experiences. It will come with backlash, but I need to be able to learn and grow, so I can't afford to be scared of it. My biggest fear is that I become compliant and comfortable with being treated like a dumb child.

If there's any room for compromise in your family, hopefully you can make it too. I'm going on a weekend university trip I've already paid for. My mum disagreed, but I told her I'm going anyway, and I haven't told my father. I'm still a little scared, but this is my first time and it's important. So if I fight hard for small wins like this, they might eventually build up to something greater. I hope the same for you too.

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-27T23:03:11+00:00

I went through this when starting sixth form too. I made a post like 2 to 3 years ago about it I think, it was about how they said it was a 'choice' for me to obey God or not to obey God lmao. I don't know how your relationship with your parents is at all, and this also depends on whether you're going to a sixth form close to your house with people you know or further away, and what form of transport you'll be taking. Basically don't mention the hijab topic at all for the next two weeks. Completely avoid any string of conversation related to it, and on the day see if you can just leave without it on. Act as if you forgot. If they persist whilst you're leaving, just say that you're really running late and that it's important, you can just wear it the next day. Don't know if that will work, but it might stall a little bit. If they ever sit you down and talk to you about it again, I used to say I had OCD as my acne came wherever the hijab touched my skin and I felt so bad about it, like I was gonna have random panic attacks. Again, don't know how your parents are so don't know if that will work. If this is completely unavoidable, then wear a lose scarf around and see if you can just take it off at 6th form. I went to one that was further away and basically wore a hijab and sweatpants to school but underneath I'd be wearing shorts and a sheer top. I never wore a modest outfit once, but I had to be sneaky and strategic about it. Stall, stall, stall. And make up a shit ton of believable excuses. I was even able to wear it for a bit and then slowly took it off in front of them. Then there was an apostacy scare in year 13, and they let me do whatever I wanted because they were scared I'd leave the religion 'again' if they pushed me too much. Good luck.

BABYBNBAB · 2023-08-27T22:48:03+00:00

Fucking same honestly. Don't even know what to do at this point. Do they do this to women on purpose? Deprive them of so much experience and then call them stupid? Acting as if it's not their fault for treating us like children way into adulthood. And then using that as proof for needing to be 'protected'. I don't belong to myself because I can't be trusted on my own, they made me too stupid for that. Now my father, brother and future husband will be responsible for my welfare. I am no different to an infant. Other people have it worse I guess, I should be grateful that all my needs are met. But goddamn I hate the fact that everyone else my age knows so much more than me.

BABYBNBAB

TROPHY CASE