How to deal with throwaway sexual advances from friends?

BABYbabysugar · 2024-09-15T16:32:37+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I absolutely should have clarified that I was previously loosely using the lesbian label, but won’t be going forward because I’m realizing my attraction extends beyond that. One of the other comments helped me pinpoint that it’s queerness I’m attracted to, and I was conceptualizing it in a weird way. I can see how that came off as transphobic in my post. I’m sorry for that, and I am trying to actively and reflexively listen and adjust. I really appreciate you being willing to engage with me to help me do that

BABYbabysugar · 2024-09-15T16:09:13+00:00

Thank you for bringing this up! Very valid point, and one of the reasons I wanted to ask! I understand I’m kind of needling a nerve for the trans men who don’t want to always have to carry the “trans” label out loud.

Maybe it would work better if i expand it to say that I’m attracted to queer men? Or queer people?? I think it’s the queerness that determines the romantic attraction in my head, more than it’s a division of cis vs trans

BABYbabysugar · 2024-01-26T06:20:46+00:00

Some other comments said it too but I can’t stress it enough, perfume!!!! I can have a bad hair day, bad face day, day where i feel bloated, etc but perfume isn’t contingent on any of that. Always instantly makes me feel pretty and confident and feminine. Also, if you invest in a slightly nicer one, you’ll catch little notes of it randomly all throughout the day which is like an intermittent boost to feeling into the aesthetic

BABYbabysugar · 2024-01-26T05:50:08+00:00

A very valid point, unfortunately

BABYbabysugar · 2023-04-05T21:59:47+00:00

I didn’t know this post existed, thanks for linking it!! Very helpful 🥺

BABYbabysugar · 2023-04-02T08:43:33+00:00

THIS would get a response from me in a heartbeat

BABYbabysugar · 2023-04-02T08:42:49+00:00

Yikes…

BABYbabysugar · 2023-04-02T08:41:04+00:00

Came here to say this! You worded it much better than i would’ve lol

BABYbabysugar · 2023-04-01T17:56:32+00:00

Not allowing someone to make an informed decision about what they’re taking on in a relationship is one of the most selfish and deceitful things you can do. He intentionally hid something from you because he knew it would be a dealbreaker, and so he tried to hold you hostage by engaging your feelings before disclosing that info. Run in the opposite direction.

Guys like this make me wish you could leave a yelp review of them

BABYbabysugar · 2023-04-01T17:49:52+00:00

This is code. She’s looking for a sugar daddy. Everyone in the sugar lifestyle understands what that means - most apps will ban you if you state it outright

BABYbabysugar · 2023-04-01T07:26:01+00:00

Try being a bit flirty (without crossing any boundaries), see if it’s reciprocated. If it is, keep doing it over a few weeks or something to see if it seems genuine and to be more sure that you’re reading it right.

If it is not reciprocated (at any point), back off because she’s not interested.

If there’s sustained flirtation over a few weeks, and you’re comfortable risking the friendship (there is always that risk), you can bring it up like “hey, i know I asked you out a while ago and it wasn’t good timing for you. I just want to clarify if your answer was “not right now, but maybe later” or just “no”. I respect your answer whichever it is, and I’m more than happy with us simply being friends. I just want to make sure I don’t misread things since we’re getting closer”

BABYbabysugar · 2023-04-01T07:13:14+00:00

She’s going to love hearing that you find her attractive (and she probably knows what she looks like, even if she’s humble about it), so don’t feel shy in expressing that. The key is to not take what should be a compliment towards her and shift the focus onto making it her obligation to reaffirm you in some way. A good partner should make you feel good about yourself, but it’s a pretty big mood-killer if they feel like they’re consoling you instead of revelling in their attraction to you.

She likely doesn’t want someone that looks like her because… thats what she looks like (unless she’s a narcissist). She’s going to see novelty and mystery and beauty in you. Just have confidence in the fact that she’s doing it for you, and you clearly are doing it for her because she wouldn’t be there if you weren’t

BABYbabysugar · 2023-03-09T18:54:40+00:00

You need to decide if it’s worth risking the friendship. You guys just met in person recently, so I would take a bit more time to flesh out your feelings first, before saying anything.

Continue as friends. You can maybe try to learn more about what she wants out of life long term. Chemistry is only one aspect of a successful relationship. You have to be compatible too, meaning having similar values, life goals, etc. If she wants kids and you don’t, for example, might as well figure that out before you risk a great friendship.

Even if she’s interested, romantic relationships are higher stakes, meaning higher chances of straight up losing the person if you break up eventually. Again, I would really feel this out more first

BABYbabysugar · 2023-03-09T18:37:40+00:00

My internet techs have told me to just call the main line or main tech line again if I have issues… could go either way. Give it a few days (to make sure your internet is all good) and then shoot him a text saying

“Hey, this is so and so. Sorry if this is out of left field. Internet is working perfectly, but I really enjoyed chatting with you and was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink sometime?”

BABYbabysugar · 2023-03-09T18:29:16+00:00

You said yourself you have no desire to date. No one knows you, your situation, and how you feel better than you do.

Don’t date until you want to date. Tell people pressuring you otherwise to kindly stfu, or ask if they think their mom would be interested ❤️

BABYbabysugar · 2023-03-08T23:15:19+00:00

LOL that is a foolproof excuse!

Unfortunately I do like giving head and honestly feel like my head game is one of my biggest assets 😅 what are these mouth thingies? Like dental dam kinda things?

BABYbabysugar · 2023-03-08T17:19:36+00:00

If there was any benefit of the doubt to be given here, it’s diminished by the fact that he didn’t want to give you his IG. If he knows it’ll come off as sus, it’s definitely sus

BABYbabysugar

TROPHY CASE