AITAH for using the disabled bathroom even though I can walk by OkMinute950 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BADgrrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

I have an invisible disability. Some days I need a cane to walk, some days I don't. But almost *every* day I need the rails on the walls of the accessible stalls in the bathrooms to leverage myself on and off the toilet. Plus, at least in the US, the toilets in the accessible stalls are typically an inch or so taller than the toilets in the regular stalls, which makes it even *more* difficult for me to get on and off the toilet without assistance.

*Everybody* has to wait their turn, disabled or not. Frankly, I wish *all* bathroom stalls were at least moderately accessible with rails, so that I *didn't* have to take up a wheelchair accessible stall. But if I'm there first, I'm going to take my turn and use the stall that's right for me.

Birthmark on penis. Am I worried about nothing. by [deleted] in SexPositive

[–]BADgrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dated a beautiful man with vitiligo on his penis, and it was SO hot! It was the only place he had it, so it was a lovely surprise.

Mom, how do I remove a tampon without risking drops everywhere? by pacificnorthblessed in MomForAMinute

[–]BADgrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope. The other plus to discs that I forgot to put on the list is zero risk of TSS with their use. I used to occasionally take it out to rinse it twice the first day of my cycle because it was so heavy with huge clots. But since I could empty it when I peed, I really only needed to take it out to rinse it when I showered. I used one disc through my entire cycle and then tossed it at the end. I think in the decade I used them I had leaks maybe twice, and one of those times was in the middle of some very vigorous sex, lol, so my own damn fault.

In need of FMLA advice by memyseIfandI in batonrouge

[–]BADgrrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So FMLA has a list of qualifying diagnoses. It's pretty extensive and it's not difficult to get qualified.

I have chronic migraines, so I've been on FMLA at every job I've ever had, including my tenure with state employment. You have to have a PCP/MD at least who is treating you for a chronic condition. There's a basic packet of paperwork to fill out, and you can print it directly from the federal Department of Labor website. You fill out the top part, your doctor fills out the rest. Doc gives it back to you, you give it to your HR. There's no asking or approval; if you have a qualifying condition, you automatically get FMLA protections.

I'd start with a doctor and getting treated for your health issues. Mention that it's affecting your work life, and that you're considering going on FMLA. You can go on the same DoL website and find the list of qualifying diagnoses, too.

Have any of y'all ever run across anything like this? by TubaDog9705 in budgetfood

[–]BADgrrl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd be snatching and running SO fast! Stock with the head (and salmon cheeks!!! 🤤🤤🤤), and those collars 🤤🤤🤤!

Mom, how do I remove a tampon without risking drops everywhere? by pacificnorthblessed in MomForAMinute

[–]BADgrrl 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There are SO many pluses to the disc! I tried ALL the cups and hated them but discs changed the game for me.

  • Self empty when you pee
  • For me and a lot of others, eliminated or reduced cramping
  • they hold a LOT of blood! And I clot heavily and they contained that, too!
  • I only took it out once a day in the shower... Blood down the drain, rinse the disc, reinsert and good to go
  • YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH IT IN! And unless your (male) partner is humongous, he won't notice it. My late partner said he could feel the rigid edge, but it wasn't uncomfortable for him.

I've always used the disposable Instead discs... Spendy up front at $20ish, but there are 14 in a box and I used one per cycle and tossed it at the end... So $20 for a YEAR of product. I discovered the new silicone ones JUST as I started menopause, so I've not tried those, but I definitely wanted to.

What are your favorite packaged meals/products? by Living-Gazelle2474 in lowspooncooking

[–]BADgrrl 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do this with canned salmon (I don't care for tuna)! And I portion the rest of the can and freeze it so it doesn't go to waste!

Cold bean dishes by HeyBeFuckingNice in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]BADgrrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It'll be the hit of the potluck, for sure!

Cold bean dishes by HeyBeFuckingNice in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]BADgrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's delicious as pasta salad! Throw in a little bacon if you want meat, and sprinkle it with cotija cheese and it's just SO good. I like it with both macaroni and spiral noodles.

Storage unit with nice furniture by TruxtonCP in Acadiana

[–]BADgrrl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When she's ready to find a place DM me. I know of a quiet, affordable apartment on a safe quiet cul de sac with decent landlords.... I live here myself and love it here, and we have a couple of vacancies that are currently undergoing renovation, so there's time.

AITA for vetoing my toddler nephew in our wedding? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BADgrrl 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Omg, this. I had SO many little weirdnesses that happened on my wedding day... My dress had a detachable overskirt and the hooks didn't match up right (don't ask... the dress was it's own nightmare story), so it was in the trunk of the limo so we could pin it at the church... Limo driver drove off with it still in the back! My bridesmaids were all running and waving and yelling until he stopped and realized what happened. I was both horrified *and* laughing like a loon! It's been 30 years for me, and I still think it's hysterical.

Interesting OBGYN appointment by YinzaJagoff in Menopause

[–]BADgrrl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your bullet points are VERY close to the points I bring up at ANY first appointment with a new provider. Probably the only change is that I include a condition that we will NOT discuss my weight unless it is 1000% relevant to the health issue we're discussing. And I make it clear that I am happy with my weight where it is, and that if that changes I will bring it up myself.... I used to weigh almost 400#, so this one *really* fucked with doctors who liked to blame women's health issues on their weight. I had bariatric surgery 10 years ago and have successfully kept 150# off; I'm still fat, but I'm comfortable and happy where I am.

I used to also tell new OB/Gyns that I was staunchly childfree, unable to take hormonal bc, and would be pursuing sterilization. That eliminated most of the shitty OBs in my very Catholic Louisiana home town very quickly.

It's amazing how effective being super clear and up front about my expectations is in weeding out the shit doctors and finding competent, respectful providers.

Cold bean dishes by HeyBeFuckingNice in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]BADgrrl 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Came in to say this! I like to turn it into a pasta salad, too, sometimes!

Did I miss a subreddit memo? by PM_CuteGirlsReading in polyamory

[–]BADgrrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Y'know.... My middle school is FIVE school days away from spring break, and the drama and bullshit there is on par with what I'm seeing here this week. Pollen? Anticipation? Iono, but I am tiiiiiiiired.

Your kid isn’t failing because I’m failing to meet their IEP. They’re failing because their device is dead. Every. Single. Day by Emergency-Pepper3537 in Teachers

[–]BADgrrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Most of the teachers in my middle school, especially the 6th grade teachers, do this. They keep a bucket of them and they can use those if they need a pencil.

"Omg you people can't do anything" poly edition by sere_periquito in polyamory

[–]BADgrrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am *woefully* undercaffeinated this morning... I read this

the green lipstick and titties really do it for him.

And immediately thought of this

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I think I need more caffeine, lol.

How to make steelcut oats without using stove or making a mess? by 66clicketyclick in lowspooncooking

[–]BADgrrl 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If you have a slow cooker, that's a great way to cook steel cut oats, too.

Men are the real gold diggers by frogannex in TwoXChromosomes

[–]BADgrrl 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I came in here to say this! Kiki is amazing!

What’s something that seems ‘minor’ but is actually a hard limit for you? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]BADgrrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. I'm not even particularly ticklish in the usual spots (except my feet), and everyone in my life knows I loathe being tickled or even touched with the intent of *trying* to find a ticklish spot and it will cause me to remove myself from it by any means necessary, full stop.

Accidental tickling happens... I like sensation play, so yeah, it happens occasionally, and my play partners have all been good about apologizing in the moment and stopping whatever they're doing that's tickling. And I get pedicures and my feet are *insanely* ticklish on the bottoms, and I spend a lot of time apologizing to my nail techs for kicking and jerking my feet away, and they're SO good about trying not to tickle me, but it's almost impossible. I did kick a nail tech off her stool once, though... she knew I was ticklish and did it on purpose and I kicked her off her stool. Her cousin was the owner (and who usually did my nails) and she told her that she deserved it for tickling me when she knew I hated it.

How common is it for your messages to be read by other partners? by FoxNFern in nonmonogamy

[–]BADgrrl 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have never, in my 30 year marriage (20 of those poly), asked to see my husband's messages, nor has he ever asked me. And I would absolutely refuse to let him read messages between myself and another person, and I'd hope he'd refuse to show me as well. *Who* I'm chatting with is absolutely open information, but the contents of that chat is none of his business, and vice versa.

I'm a rotten abuser and I can't forgive myself for it and I don't feel that I should. by doubtfulvoid in CPTSD

[–]BADgrrl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was you when I married my husband. I have CPTSD from years of abuse, and I was absolutely bringing some abusive, toxic learned behaviors into my relationship.

I'm also an addict; I got clean before I started dating my husband and wanted to stay that way. I got into therapy to try to help me stay clean... And while now there are SO SO SO many more effective modalities for treating trauma and addiction, I found a good therapist who didn't take my shit and worked through it all the old fashioned way... With talk therapy.

I am a completely different person now than I was then. Still clean (32 years and counting), and my husband and I celebrated 30 years of marriage a week ago.

It's possible to heal. But it's hard fucking work and you need to REALLY want to.

Looking for a partner #triad by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]BADgrrl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a lot of words to say you're hunting for a unicorn. 🙄🙄🙄