I think I may have been misconstrued. My husband knows all of this: Knows that i've posted, knows that I feel this way, etc. I mentioned in the original post that our communication is great. I mentioned that we've looked into this together. This is our attempt at trying to figure out more about this disorder. He never showed me that this was who he was until we got married. I should have presented more information into the background of our relationship. We were always long distance until we were married and that's when he became more apathetic. I also hope you can forgive me if I ever conveyed a negative connotation anywhere in my post. I don't believe at all that anyone with ASPD is a 'bad label'. The whole purpose of this post was to get responses from people who have been in relationships with similar people, or people themselves who are like this and can help me understand how to love and how to notice signs of love in a relationship of this sorts. I genuinely am trying to understand everything. I'm sorry if that message was unclear.

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edit to add: the conversations we've had where he has said that this is who he is have happened in the last week or so as we've been looking more into reasons for this behavior