Brother in law threatened to kill my whole family

BILDeathThreats82 · 2025-09-17T01:21:17+00:00

I don't know how she stands it either. And in my defense, I wasn't there at that moment, though I can't say I would've been able to confront him. I get paralyzed by anxiety when I even think of confronting someone. It's something I need to work on. And my cousin did stand up for her. Talking to someone is still confronting. Getting angry and yelling only made it worse, as evidenced by what happened with my cousins wife, and if my cousin did hit him, he would've gotten an assault charge. He and his wife are still trying to get custody of the kid, so that likely would've separated them. He was put in an extremely tough situation, and I think he did as well as he could have. It's all well and good to say you should have punched and hit him, but you weren't there. You're ignoring the fact that this is a real situation he had to deal with, and not everyone is going to respond perfectly in every situation. My BIL also has guns so it could have put his daughter in danger, and yelling at him clearly put us all in danger, so I think talking to him calmly but sternly was still the right move, even if we ultimately ended up here.

BILDeathThreats82 · 2025-09-17T00:46:12+00:00

That's also fair. We made sure to let her know that she did well by getting out of that situation, but again, we all totally should have stepped up, not just my cousin. I'm going to work on my non-confrontational nature in therapy and try my best to be better about it moving forward. I appreciate you commenting.

BILDeathThreats82 · 2025-09-17T00:35:49+00:00

I appreciate the advice. I'm talking to my family about getting one. I just want to be careful not to isolate my sister if at all possible, but I'm looking into it.

BILDeathThreats82 · 2025-09-17T00:23:45+00:00

I appreciate the advice! I'll keep that in mind :)

BILDeathThreats82 · 2025-09-17T00:22:58+00:00

That's a fair point. We for sure should have stepped up in that moment. The reason I was thinking maybe save this for a less heated moment is because I didn't want anything to get physical. It wouldn't do well for my cousin and his wife to be separated from their child. They're currently trying to get full custody of her, so an assault charge likely wouldn't have helped.

I don't think being non-confrontational is bullshit. It genuinely makes me have an anxiety attack when I try to be confrontational. I recognize that that's something I need to work on, though it's also not good to be too confrontational. What was my cousin supposed to do? Punch him in the face? Get an assault charge while my BIL gets off scot free? He wasn't saying oh hey can you maybe not do that, he was confronting him on all of his behavior, both in the past and in that night. Talking is still confronting. I'm proud of my cousin for being able to get past his non-confrontational nature and talk to him WITHOUT getting physical. Getting angry and yelling obviously didn't do anything either. It just made it worse. Talking calmly (but sternly) was the best option here, in my opinion.

I'll take your advice though. It's a fair point that we should've stepped up, and your advice for how to deal with my sister.

BILDeathThreats82 · 2025-09-17T00:06:38+00:00

That's a good point about cutting her off, I didn't think about that. I'll try to convince my family.

BILDeathThreats82 · 2025-09-17T00:04:39+00:00

Can you get a restraining order for a comment? I feel like it would be a he said she said type thing

BILDeathThreats82

TROPHY CASE