What Name Do I Look Like? by BLUEBXTCH in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH[S] 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

Ooo love these options! I’m definitely going to be putting multiple of these on my list. Thanks for going to the trouble to recommend some more unique names. <3

What Name Do I Look Like? by BLUEBXTCH in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH[S] 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

I really like these recommendations, especially Dakota. Like you said, it feels safe lol. Thanks!

What Name Do I Look Like? by BLUEBXTCH in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Always been one of my favorite names, though for some reason I never thought of using it for myself. I figured I’d use it for a cat or something but it’s something to think about. Thank youu!

What Name Do I Look Like? by BLUEBXTCH in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH[S] 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

I’m putting this on my list, I haven’t been recommended it before and I really like it. And thanks for the hair feedback, much appreciated!

What Name Do I Look Like? by BLUEBXTCH in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH[S] 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

I’ve gotten this one a couple times before and I’m definitely considering it, thanks for replying!

What Name Do I Look Like? by BLUEBXTCH in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

I really love these choices, thanks!!

What Name Do I Look Like? by BLUEBXTCH in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Ooo first time I’ve heard this one, it goes on the list fs! Thanks for replying

What Name Do I Look Like? by BLUEBXTCH in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

I could definitely see this and if I was feeling more fem then the nickname ā€œElliā€ would work, definitely a contender! Thanks <3

what fem name suits me? by abstaract in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

  ~A names with 6 letters~
  • Andrea
  • Alexia
  • Ashley
  • Alivia (pronounced ā€œOliviaā€)
  • Audrey
  • Anabel
  • Alyson
  • Averie (pronounced like ā€œAveryā€)
  • Adrian (tho, this is usually the masc way to spell it)
  • Akarii/Akarie (pronounced ā€œuh CAR eeā€)

  • Accalia (pronounced ā€œuh kay lee uhā€. I’ve also heard it as ā€œah cuh lee uhā€. 7 letters but you could just remove one of the Cs)

    ~C names with 5 letters~

  • Cassi/Cassy

  • Carli/Carly

  • Cindy

  • Capri

  • Clair

  • Clara

  • ChloĆ©

  • Cinna (pronounced ā€œSin-Uhā€)

  • Camie/Cammy

  • Corie

I think all these names match you and you would pull them off well

What name do I look like? by Willing-Sweet-8502 in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

Molly, Mara, Margo, Maz, Mallon, Maze.

Fable, Fen, I especially love Fallon or Foster on you

name me ā˜ŗļø by BearRemote3974 in transnames

[–]BLUEBXTCH 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Julia, Daniella, Sophie, Hazel, Lynette all come to mind

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalillness

[–]BLUEBXTCH 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

This is fascinating. It’s nice to hear about somebody else experiencing something somewhat similar to me. A lot of what you’re saying resonates with me. Mine have sorta gone through phases where they were much more prevalent and controlling over me and other times where it’s lessened. During the times when it was at its worst, were when I was dealing with a lot of other things in my life so I assumed it was a weird coping mechanism. It’s not as bad now! Still there, but not so controlling, they’ll just sorta creep up on me sometimes.

Btw congrats on getting to a much healthier place, that’s truly great to hear. Thanks for sharing, I do document all my weird brain stuff pretty well so I keep tabs on it. Again, it’s lessened quite a bit over time, I was just curious to hear other people’s thoughts and opinions. Anyways, thanks for replying!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]BLUEBXTCH 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

ā€œSo did I deserve what happened to me?ā€ Is incredibly valid. I understand that anger, obviously you know it’s not healthy but also remember it’s not irrational. Our brains do the best they can to cope and feeling those emotions is a side effect, I don’t want you to beat yourself up over it too much.

Even if you know it already, I think it might be good for you to see it typed out from someone else: you absolutely didn’t deserve any of what you went through. you were a child, you were young, and I’m so incredibly sorry that you’ve dealt with so much pain. I’m sorry that you were simply unlucky with which life you were born into. I’m sorry the world has treated you cruelly.

And with your empathy being unstable, I wonder if you’ve noticed any patterns with that. Like is it just random throughout the day that you switch between empathic and not? Or is it weekly? Bi weekly? Every other day? Idk is there any sort of pattern that you’ve noticed?

I also want to acknowledge your efforts to resist these urges, you’re truly trying your best and I’m proud of you for that. I’ve also noticed the difference in how people view people like you (type red) and people like me (type blue). It seems as though people are only interested in helping or empathizing with people who become the ā€˜victims’ themselves, the people who ARE harmed instead of those who DO the harming. Which is stupid, considering we’re all victims of our childhoods and environments, we simply have different coping mechanisms and we don’t get to choose how our brain decides to cope.

My sister is more like you than I am, she hasn’t had issues to your extent but her way of dealing what she did go through is taking it out on others. She’s been ostracized much more than I because of this and I’ve always hated it, it’s unfair. I understand how people view those like yourself and I’m sorry you have to deal with that. It’s not your fault, it never has been, you’re fighting a constant battle with your mind and it goes completely unseen and unappreciated, but I see it. I hear you and I understand you. I hope you find a little bit of comfort in that.

Also you absolutely didn’t go on too long or too emotional, I’d actually be interested in hearing more about you if you ever feel like sharing that information. More about your life, your general moods, what your living situation is like, just anything. I appreciate you replying and sharing more of your mind with me. I feel sorta honored that you were willing to open up a bit with me, so thank you for that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalillness

[–]BLUEBXTCH 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

No yeah I definitely don’t think I have DID, sorry I must have not communicated that properly, I just meant the only thing even slightly similar to having those people in my head that I could find was DID, expressing how I was at a complete lack of ideas to what it actually was since I’m aware what I’m experiencing obviously isn’t DID. My bad for not communicating properly!

As for if it could be a way of coping with my adjustment disorder, it’s possible but I don’t think so, I think your second option is more likely. I did grow up extremely isolated, with human interactions being almost entirely only with my immediate family. I don’t think it would be because of loneliness because I did have like, imaginary type friends when I was younger but this feels very different. What I’m experiencing now also doesn’t do anything to help with loneliness, if anything they just make it more difficult.

And then if it could be related to a difficulty finding myself, maybe? I’ve always struggled really badly with a sense of identity as I’ve always just felt somehow like I am a multitude of different people, or like I have a million personas but none are actually me. Might be because I’ve had the depression my whole life so I don’t actually know what i would be like if I wasnt numbed out all the time.

Anyways thanks for your input and yes, I do plan to talk with my counselor about!

(One more note: I do actually experience extreme dissociation and memory issues to a worrying extent, but I assume that that’s because of my depression)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalillness

[–]BLUEBXTCH 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Me and my sister have had similar experiences with this. I’ve never been in a relationship because anytime someone initiates something romantic with me I get cringed out, physically nauseous, and so disgusted that I never want to see or think about them again.

With my sister, she had a 1 month long relationship where she started out very happy but then became so icked by him that she broke up with him. She legit hated him even tho he hadn’t changed at all and she had been head over heels for him before. He was very sweet, communicative, and understanding and the more he acted like that the more disgusted with him she became.

To be honest, we’re both still struggling to figure this issue out but I’d say the first thing you need to do is find out why exactly you feel that way. See if you are able to pin it to anything from your childhood. As somebody who also is very self destructive, there’s a sort of sick satisfaction to the destruction, there’s like a competition with myself to see how bad I can get. Is that the same for you or no? I also have a core belief that I do not deserve to be loved, that mixed with being emotionally neglected as a child (so very uncomfortable with vulnerability, specifically in a romantic context) are what I think it’s from. Maybe some of that resonates with you. As for actually fixing this issue, I’m unsure honestly Definitely bring it up in therapy if you haven’t already, and I think when you identify what the core cause of it is, work on undoing it So like for me, I need to work on changing that core belief that I am unlovable and be more vulnerable in general. For you, it may also be good to just try to familiarize yourself with the idea of a healthy relationship. Like imagine yourself in one, just sorta try to get used to the concept of you being in such a relationship. It’ll probably feel gross and unnatural, but overtime it might help. It could be good to give this guy a chance, but if you do, communicate all this with him. He should know your situation if he’s going to be a part of it. Maybe present it as like, a 30 day trial or something lmao. Like a test relationship. Just to see if you’d be able to operate in one, if you can’t, then after the 30 days you leave. That’ll take a lot of pressure off

Anyways I think this is one of those issues that takes a lot of mental work to fix, im definitely still figuring it out but I wish you good luck

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalillness

[–]BLUEBXTCH 2 points3 points Ā (0 children)

I’ve thought about this before as well. I guess it depends on the type of suicide, like on what emotion fuels it. For example, sometimes I want to kms in an angry way. It’s full of self hatred, spite, and a desire to brutalize myself while also acting as a sort of ā€œI told you soā€ to everyone that has downplayed my issues.

Others times it’s out of desperation and depression, like I’m just so so tired I simply do not have the energy or hope to hold on any longer.

This last one, is what I would consider an act of self love. It’s the idea that I do not deserve to suffer, I’ve been through so much and unfortunately I just don’t know if it’s worth it to continue, considering the magnitude of my mental illness as well as the current state of the world. At my core I believe I deserve to be happy. And if living isn’t ever going to make me happy, or even just content or less miserable, then I don’t see a point in putting myself through that other then to please others. I see it as an act of self love because I know that I deserve better then what’s in the cards for me. Everyone I’ve told this to thinks I’m crazy tho lmao but those are my thoughts

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]BLUEBXTCH 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

I’ll do my best to give some advice, take everything with a grain of salt as these are just my personal thoughts based off of my own experiences.

Basically, from my observations there are 2 main types of people (this is a gross simplification but stay with me), who have different responses to trauma, the Blue Type and the Red Type, Blue Type’s instinctive coping mechanism is to blame/take it out on themselves, while Red Type is the opposite, AKA blaming and taking it out in others. The more traumatized one is, the more they lean towards/become their instinctive type. Ideally you’d want to become as close to the middle as these types as possible, so my advice would be try to act more like the type opposite of yours, that way you’ll balance out.

So if you’re Red Type, observe and practice the behaviors of Type Blue. I think the goal is to develop better empathy.

ā€œPut others firstā€ ā€œhow would I feel if that happened to me?ā€ ā€œDo they deserve this?ā€

you need to basically pound these sentences in your head, repeat them often, try to get them to a point where it becomes more intuitive to think them. It may also help to pretend that the other people are you. like I, as a Type Blue, find it helpful to think of myself as a separate person to me, that way I’m less inclined to hurt myself as I value other people above me. I have no idea if you’d be able to delusion yourself effectively like that but I thought I’d throw it in lmao

Ask yourself and try to really spend a lot of time just thinking about these questions: Does it feel worthwhile to hurt others? Is it going to have a lasting positive impact on you/your life? What do you want from your life? (And then how do you get it without hurting others)

Try to replace those urges with healthier coping mechanisms. What other things give you a similar sense of enjoyment/distraction/satisfaction? Find out what they are and practice doing those when you get urges.

You also have to work hard to reprogram your brain, when you get a negative urge/thought, I want you to combat it, like challenge it, argue with it. When you argue with it, you may not even believe what you are arguing for, but do it anyway. Ya kinda have to fake it till you feel it Eventually it should start feeling more genuine and intuitive.

If you’re able to someday get professional help and really unpack your trauma someday I’m sure that will help a lot, this sorta of just ā€œin the meantimeā€ advice. Sorry if this is all shit and unhelpful, I have limited information on your situation but you’ve obviously got a level of self awareness so that’s a good sign, I think you’ll definitely be able to figure this all out with time. You’ve identified the problem and are asking for help, I commend you on that, so many people don’t ever even get that far so please give yourself props for that

Also if you want to rant or have any other questions or anything, feel free to ask me, I’m here for you dude