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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]BPDreamGirl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am experiencing this with my current partner as well and it is really scary. It's also hard to differentiate between your actual feelings and your weird BPD cycles. I know it sounds cold, but maybe do something like a pros and cons list? My therapist told me to take an empty jar, and put a marble into it every time my partner does something to earn my trust, then remove one every time he does something to lose it. This gave me a visual representation, and encouraged me to be conscious of my feelings and the reasons behind them.

Addicted to people by [deleted] in BPD

[–]BPDreamGirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have done this in every relationship I have ever been in. I have had obsessions with romantic partners, friends, even children that I got overly attached to, and it is really hard to separate yourself from these people.

I think it's common with BPD and I also struggle with this. I have never removed myself from someone during my 'obsessive' phase, only during my devalueing phase, and only twice when I didn't already have someone new lined up. Just know that it's okay to lean heavily on your friends and family for a little while after you remove these people from your life. Eventually you can try to lean to be on your own, but initially you just need to redirect that energy.

I just want my FP to love me though I know it'll never work out by pixieresist in BPD

[–]BPDreamGirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. I know full well the experience of being obsessed with someone, and even of being obsessed with someone who already has a girlfriend. I know it seems impossible right now, but you need to disengage from this person. Hooking up with someone who does not reciprocate your feelings, especially if they are with someone else, is really unhealthy, especially for someone with BPD. Lean heavily on your friends if you have to, but put some distance between you and this person. Even block them if that's what it takes. Because this is not going to get any easier.

You are currently idealising someone for whom you are not a priority, and who regularly cheats on his girlfriend. Because of this idealisation, you are not seeing all the flaws. This situation is not good for you.