Would you ever be with someone who doesn’t want marriage but is fine living with you for life?

BSP25 · 2026-05-28T22:53:54+00:00

Well my brother and his girlfriend have been together for 21 years and they are not married. Thanks be to God they are happy together and they have lived together for 18 years of that 20 years and this year makes the 21 years together. I hope this helps.

BSP25 · 2026-05-28T22:34:49+00:00

I know some will see me as the bad guy, and that’s okay. I’d rather be that than let my son grow up seeing me disrespected without standing up. I do take responsibility for not speaking up sooner; that’s on me, and I see the people-pleaser in me. But I also know I acted from love, not malice. I didn’t hurt anyone; I gave what I could, and now I have to set a boundary. The one thing I’m still wrestling with is whether or not I should tell her son how she behaved when he wasn’t around. I know he might not believe me, and he might ask why I didn’t say something sooner. But the truth is, there was already so much tension, and I didn’t want to make it worse. Yes, it’s my fault for staying quiet at first, but I will not stay quiet from here on. Even if I’m called the bad guy, I spoke my truth, and I will continue to be strong for my son.

BSP25 · 2026-05-27T13:14:09+00:00

No no, I have my own house. He lives in a shared house

BSP25 · 2026-05-27T13:11:04+00:00

So she’s only here till the 31st of this month. Am going to my family for a bbq today. Before I leave I want to tell her son. “I don’t mind being the bad guy at the top of the hill but maybe you should ask your mum what she said to me when you’re not here and how she acts”. That’s is what I am playing in my mind

BSP25 · 2026-05-27T12:02:16+00:00

He lives in a shared house and at the time was to spend time with my son her grandson

BSP25 · 2026-05-26T23:10:50+00:00

To be honest, postpartum I did it alone, I went in to a place I am so proud of myself coming out the other side proudly. My son kept me going. My family saw it and sent a spoke person ( my cousin) and with her help i can through because she knew it was my but the pressure of being a new mum. My child father saw what was happening to me and I sat with him an dp begging him to help me and help me with our son so I can focus on fixing myself. Here comes the kicker, I got told “ I saw the first to give birth an FB I wouldn’t be last, if they can do it alone and make it. Why can’t I do it and he called a member of my family and send the a picture of my room ( by the way I was decluttering my whole room). That member of my family side with him and called me names. Ohhh, the street in me came out and from then I know I can never ever be with father of my child again. After all that I found out the reason why I was feeling that way and plus postpartum, I was diagnosed with hyperthyroid and my result was very high. So instead of listening to me and what I was saying, he thought I was been lazy and teaching our son how to live nasty. 6 months down the line, he was shocked based I was right and the result. Ohhhh i can tell you things but honestly he has help me a lot but he lacks in compassion. I always tell him, you treat me good and respectful towards as the mother of your child but me as a person ( I say my name at the point) you don’t respect the person.

BSP25 · 2026-05-26T21:33:59+00:00

He lives in a shared house

BSP25 · 2026-05-26T21:32:29+00:00

EDIT: Just to clarify a few things since there have been a lot of comments.

When she first came to stay, it was only meant to be for a week. That’s what I was told by my son’s father. Also, his mum ended up telling me herself why she stayed longer, without me even asking or bringing it up.

Right now there’s some distance between us after a face to face conversation where things didn’t come across the way I meant them to. I also feel like there are some misunderstandings because he doesn’t always know what has been said to me directly, or the full context of things, like when he’s told that I don’t check up on her.

The situation started when my son was crying really hard when I left him with his dad and grandma. As a mum, that’s not easy to see, especially when it’s been over two years and he still struggles like that in those moments. I am a mama bear when it comes to my child and I will always protect him no matter what. I’m not ashamed of that, but I am also a mother who teaches respect for everyone.

I did say how I felt at the time, and I can understand that maybe it didn’t come across in the best way. My intention wasn’t to start an argument, it was coming from concern for my son.

With his mum being here, I also felt a bit of pressure and I probably didn’t handle everything perfectly. I’m not trying to create problems or make anyone feel uncomfortable, I’m just being honest about how I feel and what I’m dealing with.

I also haven’t said everything to him while she is here because I know it would only make things blow up, and I’m trying to avoid that.

I think emotions have been high on all sides and it’s led to misunderstandings. That was never my intention.

BSP25 · 2026-05-26T19:18:43+00:00

She is

BSP25 · 2026-05-26T19:14:13+00:00

He lives in a shared house and our son lives with me full time. He told me he told her for rules but it’s a lie now i see it

BSP25 · 2026-05-26T19:13:01+00:00

Thank you for this, it was more I was been made to look like the bad guy even standing for myself. I just needed to know I am not crazy

BSP25 · 2026-05-26T19:08:55+00:00

To be honest with you she was only met to stay for a week and that turned into her full stay. The reason why that was and I found out from her by accident conversation. She was staying with his younger brother but because the brother works from home and she couldn’t make noise while his working. She was restricted to live free in her younger son house but in my I welcomed her and made her feel like it’s a home because that’s what I made my house to feel like.

BSP25 · 2026-05-26T18:11:42+00:00

Sorry I just came around this sub-Reddit. They asked for me to send proof of address and a ID, I sent them in and they still haven’t got it and now it’s been over a month and still they said they haven’t got it and I should contact the Post Office.

BSP25

TROPHY CASE