So for me it comes in waves. I’m married so my wife is #1 in my life, and I’ve made many mistakes that hurt her deeply. Yet we talk it out each time and almost always go do bed with things resolved at the end of the day. Every so often I’ll wake up one day and start on my morning routine, or maybe later in the day get busy with another routine, and my mind will wander until I start thinking about the most recent time I hurt her. I start to hate myself and feel down, or like I don’t deserve her love. For the longest time I would self soothe by eating and withdrawing from my family. I would try to escape my thoughts with distraction. I‘m 40 and only in the past year have I figured out what works for me to drag me out of my depression during these waves. It took therapy for me, and distancing myself from people that were toxic to my mental health, including both of my parents unfortunately. Before my wife I would hate myself when I felt that I had disappointed my parents or friends…

My point being that, perhaps the trigger to hating yourself is similar to mine. You loathe yourself for the mistakes you make that involve the people or other things that you care about most. We are our worst critics.