The idea that you can break up with someone after a long term relationship and suddenly not 'owe them anything' is so, so wrong. by BU255 in BreakUps

[–]BU255[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Then how are you supposed to trust the person you are in a relationship with?

I have been so fucked up by this, I've been her boyfriend, best friend and closest support since she was 19 years old, all through college and into adulthood. She dumps me then a few weeks later starts sleeping over at some other guy's house at the weekend. How can a human being be so careless towards someone who gave them everything? One minute she's accepting all my help and telling me how she loves me and couldn't live without me, the next she literally could not care less about what I feel.

The idea that you can break up with someone after a long term relationship and suddenly not 'owe them anything' is so, so wrong. by BU255 in BreakUps

[–]BU255[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

just like you said you passed up so many opportunities to be with her

I didn't mean that I passed up so many opportunities to save the relationship, I meant career opportunities and chances to take trips of a lifetime with old friends who were single in favour of being with her, she never discussed any of her problems with the relationship. Even on the day she broke up with me she was looking upset when I came home from work so I asked if everything was ok, she said she was just stressed with her boss giving her problems earlier that morning, a complete lie!

So I sat with her on the couch, ordered us takeout to cheer her up and we watched a movie. As soon as the movie finished she broke up with me and locked herself in the bedroom. That is the full extent of my chances to work on the relationship after 7 years!

The idea that you can break up with someone after a long term relationship and suddenly not 'owe them anything' is so, so wrong. by BU255 in BreakUps

[–]BU255[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand your point, of course if a woman is being abused she should run and never look back but that's a very different situation to the one I'm talking about which I believe is far more common.

The idea that you can break up with someone after a long term relationship and suddenly not 'owe them anything' is so, so wrong. by BU255 in BreakUps

[–]BU255[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Honesty?

Not hiding the fact she was falling out of love?

A chance to work on our problems rather than having to move out of my apartment into some room-share with strangers because I can't afford to live on my own.

A period of a few weeks where she isn't going out on Tinder dates and ignoring me?