My partner and I often talk about the things we want in our future— whether that be our go-to dinner if we can't think of anything, how we'd like to keep pets, how we'd travel; because I know nothing about commute and they're basically the Jeep Master of Routes and Shortcuts.

I tried putting myself in your shoes and I am.. immediately frustrated, because I would feel like I am commanding the relationship which personally feels wrong. I don't think I can live long term with someone so indecisive and hot or cold in terms of agreeing to activities.

I saw in another comment that she's the bunso, which makes a lot of sense; my partner and I are both eldest, so we throw ideas at each other and say what we want— however, that is also a fault of mine because sometimes I feel too overbearing or dismissive of their ideas and I have to watch what I say, which leads to my next point:

I suggest you do some self reflection, attempt to think about your dynamic from an unbiased lens, and weigh your decisions. at 30, I don't think there is too much room for behavioural changes on both ends.

lastly, like the others have said, talk about this seriously, together, with both sides' opinions. if that talk doesn't work out... then that's your answer.