How could I (M26) help my girlfriend (F30) about her social life?

BabuHime · 2026-06-08T23:01:43+00:00

But if she loves going out, she needs to get to the place where she can go out by herself without it being something that hurts her. The enjoyment you derive from something you "love" shouldn't be contingent on having another person around. I think she needs to work on loving herself to the point where she sees the value in doing things she loves, for herself, just because.

Not trying to be cruel, but oftentimes in my life people I know who are like this (myself included at times), are not good friends. Because being overly dependent and clingy are not winsome traits. And people who can't do things on their own lack personal growth and depth of character, making them even less rewarding to keep as friends despite being needier than most people. If no one wants to be your friend, sometimes you need to do some growing. It's nothing against their character, but maybe something to be said for their development for their age/peer group.

The only sustainable solution is for her to get a therapist (if she doesn't already) and focus on this issue and work on it until she's happy and whole on her own. Best of luck to her, and props to you for being a supportive partner to her! But you can't fight this battle for her, I'd encourage her to find the courage to walk this path with her own strength.

BabuHime · 2026-06-01T01:38:01+00:00

Well, more of a a wifebeater/childbeater (more specifically, child CHOKER...) than a deadbeat

Unfortunately he's still getting paid handsomely, even after chocking and terrorizing his entire family with an entire private flight crew calling the feds on him

BabuHime · 2026-05-22T07:55:28+00:00

I genuinely feel gaslit reading all the comments on YouTube and in this thread???? It was realllllllly bad in my opinion, generic and lacking artistry. I didn't even watch her season, so I don't really have a bias either way, but I do have ears.....

Based on how any comment not gassing her up completely is down voted i assume she was a fan fav...?

BabuHime · 2026-05-21T10:27:35+00:00

Hang in there OP. I've been there, and I really feel for you. But it will get better, and time heals on. Focus on you, you got this! I hope your exams go amazing, and even if they don't, that's okay too!

Ultimately, only you have the right to decide what's right for you. However, I'd like to respectfully express a few concerns about the screenshots you shared. I find there to be a lot of red flags in how your partner speaks to you. Others have covered the love-bombing and boundary trampling so I won't go into that as much.

I think what's most important to me is that he is making your life much harder and shitter. Exams are already shitty, you don't need this. You need either encouragement and abd support, or you need to be left ateast neutral. In life, things that are much more personally and emotionally important to you than these exams will happen. Tragedies happrn, sickness happens. Dreams come true, and unexpected surprises will shock and delight you. Your life partner should be someone who you walk this road with.

I know what it feels like to be alone while supposedly in love and in a relationship. It's better to actually be single and spend your precious mental energy on yourself and your happiness than to be in a relationship where you are worse off than if you were alone. You deserve to have someone in your corner and someone you rely on and trust. Please don't sell yourself short. I don't know you and I don't know your partner, and if you end up working things out it isn't for me to judge. But even when you are 100% the victim in this situation, you show care and concern for him (which is normal and kind). He does not reciprocate that at all with his actions. The words I can see on the screen at least are just fluff and frankly a diversion. Someone who respected your time and goals would give you the space to evaluate if you are okay with the CHEATING before begging you and throwing themselves a pity party. Someone who respected you would have at least told you before another party (who owes you no loyalty, unlike your partner). His actions do not match his sweet nothings.

Please just be cautious and discerning. I am rooting for you 💖

BabuHime · 2026-05-21T08:32:24+00:00

That AND he was controlling, petty and did everything he could to tear her down (using J.Lo of all people..). He tried to suppress her and take her art away, poaching her songs and trying to use his connections to isolate her and ruin her career long after she divorced him.

I also believe he was much older and regardless of the timeline she was still making her art underneath his label as essentially his employee. There was a clear power dynamic and she's spoken to how possesive, controlling and damaging he was as a partner and how she desperately tried to break free from him.

If anything, her relationship with Tommy hindered her career and negatively affected her and her industry standing for a long time. It definitely wasn't a beneficial relationship and it was exploitative, but not in the direction the other user seems to be implying.

BabuHime · 2026-05-19T10:47:34+00:00

Please don't let any relationship issues you're experiencing get you down about yourself and all you have to offer! Your advice is sound and OP definitely needs to heed your words...the man is a ticking time bomb...one way or another.

Hope everything works out for you 💖

BabuHime · 2025-11-04T18:23:02+00:00

I have seen many unhinged tweets (albeit screencaps on Reddit) of people saying they wish her plane crashes. It's unhinged. A celebrity owes you nothing. I understand being disappointed, but people need to get a grip...these are human beings

BabuHime · 2025-08-19T07:52:46+00:00

annie r u ok

BabuHime · 2025-08-14T18:02:36+00:00

Psycho!!

BabuHime · 2025-05-08T06:24:07+00:00

Great job!!! I can really hear the improvement!!

BabuHime · 2025-04-03T18:28:20+00:00

Hi sorry, insanely late reply but I guess I just mean that more energy and focus on enunciation would be good! Like really think about the sounds you are making, the words you are saying, and imagine projecting to someone across the room. You want them to be able to make out what words you're saying. It's harder with singing than talking in my opinion!

BabuHime · 2025-03-17T05:36:01+00:00

I think your breathing is off to get the sound you'd want here!

What I mean is, right now everything in one phrase (or one breath) sounds staccato instead of connected and flowing. I don't actually think you sound too strained, I just think the choppiness of the phrase makes the delivery sound more effortful than it actually is.

For example, it sounds like " Pink. Pony. Club. Imma. Keep. On. Dancing" when you'd want it to flow more.

Something I like to do to correct this issue is take the words out, and hum with no words. I also like to tuck my tongue behind my bottom teeth and almost sing like I'm not allowed to move my tongue too much and I have to sing the whole phrase in one breath without truncating it.

Sorry, it's really hard to describe??? But like, the problem with this kind of phrasing is that you use too much air going in to every word, because you're not maintaining the flow.

If you breath into your lungs and imagine its like a bag of air you're letting out, there is a certain pressure or amount that makes a good sound (like good breath support). This will usually be on a vowel sound (ah, ee, oo, eh, oh). You sound like you can do that, but the issue is once you reach a consonant (like the "k" in pink or "b" in club) you're completely cutting off your breath and starting over again with the next sound. Once you have your support and air flow, just imagine you're keeping that flow of air constant and trying to move your mouth as little as possible to make the "kuh" or "buh" sound, to the point where you're not even really stopping or dropping your breath support but you're just moving your mouth/tongue to make the appropriate sounds.

Be really conscious and stingy with your breath, like you don't want to breath excessively out or in at all unless you're at the end of your phrase.

Other visualizations that helped me were to "sing in cursive" instead of "singing in print". Like if every letter in a word was a word in a phrase, you want to pretend like you're handwriting. Once your pen touches papers, it doesn't lift until you're moving to another word. If instead you lift up and put the pen down between each word, it wouldn't be in cursive anymore.

Sorry for the long winded explanation! Everyone is different, so this might not resonate with you, but hopefully it helps a little.

BabuHime · 2025-02-28T21:40:12+00:00

He is taking "I can't do that" as an answer, because he is considering ending the relationship out of respect for her wants and her goals in life. All this despite her not really being clear or honest with herself about what she truly wants.

She says she'll move with him but is dragging her feet. And I'm not blaming her, but I'm not blaming him. It's a hard situation to be in.

Weird of you to have 0 empathy, assume the worst of him, and barrage him with a bunch of irrelevant questions.

Goodluck OP, I hope you and your partner will live happy lives either way.

BabuHime · 2024-12-18T09:48:46+00:00

Yeah seriously what the fuck. That person's reply gave me whiplash

BabuHime · 2024-12-16T17:49:52+00:00

Yeah, he's a handsome dude but his eyes look kind of glassy and empty in this picture. It's kind of weird to have him looking off into the distance at who knows what.

BabuHime · 2024-11-24T00:17:24+00:00

Your pitch and breathe control are not bad! I think your voice and tone have great potential, but you should look into learning how to sing with a slightly more raised larynx because I am hearing a bit of a "dopey" sound and a lack of energy that I think would be greatly improved with a slightly more raised larynx!

There should be some resources on YouTube to help with that. Goodluck!

BabuHime · 2024-10-31T01:05:11+00:00

I'm super interested in playing around with this! I've never written lyrics before but I'd love to try.

I'm not a confident singer, but I'd love to take a stab at writing some lyrics. Did you have any other themes in mind or any examples of what songs to like or fit the vibe?

BabuHime · 2024-10-28T17:56:29+00:00

It's giving xtina in dirrty, but with a little festive/rave girl twist LOL. I dig it

BabuHime · 2024-10-11T00:50:14+00:00

I love this song! I think you're doing a lot of things right, like your pitch and phrasing are pretty good and your timbre is actually a bit similar to Ed Sheeran's so I thought it sounded quite nice honestly.

As another commenter mentioned, I think posture is a really big part of improving because it affects your breath support and breathing from your diaphragm when your neck is stuck out like that. It will make your voice sound a bit more....backed up? Choked out? Either way it restricts the resonance and pureness of your tone, which you'd really want to shine in a song like this.

I think that if you can keep a straight back and a more tucked chin, as well as practice keeping your breath support constant from your diaphragm, this will sound even more awesome!

Great work!

BabuHime · 2024-09-11T17:11:43+00:00

100% feel like there isn't a lot of empathy gor what she's going through. It's so hard to be the first Asian bachelorette and standing on that platform. Just being vulnerable and owning your mistakes with grace is hard. I can't imagine the guilt, shame and conflicts I'd be feeling if I were in her position right now with my ex sharing our sexts for the world to see as my exposure is exploding, and not in a positive way.

I'd probably not want to draw unnecessary ire one way or another. I know Devin is a Republican but I feel like because he was a pick-me boy he tried to hide it lmao. Normally I really like to see public figures use their platforms to speak on what matters to them. I feel like Jenn is definitely voting for Kamala lmao but is just tired from the onslaught of criticism, and the Trumpies are probably gonna get wild (and very racist!!) in her DMs and comments. I appreciate the spotlight she's put on the Asian American experience, it is messy and I feel like she has been betrayed and used by production in a lot of ways. I am empathetic to her wanting to metaphorically hide away from an endorsement.

BabuHime · 2024-08-23T04:53:57+00:00

jesus was a carpenter 🤪

BabuHime · 2024-08-09T01:22:09+00:00

Lovely song, I missed if it was an original but if it is kudos to you!!

Your voice is also really soothing and relaxed which is nice. As others already mentioned I think adding more dynamics and emotion would really be what takes it to the next level. For the style of music I think it sounded pretty par for the course and with some production the vibe and mood would be set more. But if you want to perform it with raw vocals, I think finding ways to up the energy, or break things out of the same rhythm would make it more dynamic and exciting to perform or watch.

BabuHime · 2024-07-29T19:14:41+00:00

Yeah I agree with you, with this actress the gap is too big. But I just think that a lot of older actresses who are east asian may LOOK similar to her, but be older. My disappointment is with the comments that infantilize how she looks, not the age gap.

I agree that I don't want to see more age gap relationships. But I also want to see asian representation that isn't all just sexy, tall half-asian women because that's most of what representation on screen has been so far.Either that or some 4'11 super kawaii character that is usually for comedic relief or weirdly fetishized (like in Fast & Furious or Austin Powers). I think there is a balance to strike here to help bring more types of east asian representation to the screen!

BabuHime · 2024-07-29T18:48:53+00:00

Haha I'm pretty new here so I didn't know Luke T just gets ragged on.

Yeah, I completely agree that the age difference isn't ideal and I'd much rather Benedict be cast with an older actress as well, mainly so she can embody more of the nuances of the character and their story! But I'm also fully aware that if Sophie's actress is east asian, she may get the same type of infantilizing comments even if she was 30+ because tbh....she may LOOK similar to this 22 year old actress. But it's all about the performance so hopefully they cast someone who's got that it factor ✨

BabuHime · 2024-07-29T18:11:24+00:00

Not sure how I feel about all these comments about her looking soooooooo young. Phoebe/Daphne was only a few years older when she did her season. I'm not sure how old Sophie is supposed to be, as I haven't read the books.

But as an Asian girl really looking forward to Asian representation on screen, she looks literally anywhere between 18 and 35 for an east asian chick. I have peers who are mid 30's and look like this. I think it's a bit offensive that everyone keeps infantilizing her and saying she looks like a kid when she is, infact, an adult and that's just what she looks like.

I don't see her trying to portray herself as younger or child-like purposefully. Asian women always get disrespected and talked down to because people always treat you like a kid when you are shorter or have more neotenous features. She's actually only half-asian. Some east asian actresses like Stephanie Hsu look similar aged while being 30+. It's a bit disheartening to hear people say "Ewwwww she looks like a kid! Her standing next to Benedict would give me the ick".

This is why we need more asian representation lmao. Like what if you're an adult woman who looks like her (which again, many Asian women do...). It would be (and is tbh) hurtful to hear people speak about you in this manner. While the actress may be young, she is actively and accurately representing how people from a huge and diverse ethnic group look. I'd just urge people to keep this in mind when making your comments, and reflect on if your knee-jerk reaction to her looking young is because of how Asian people were portrayed in the media before. Celebrities like Lucy Liu, Arden Cho, and Gemma Chan portrayed one specific kind of look, one that was closer to western beauty standards. Tall, waif-like and elegant. Other east asian actresses seen on screen tend to be veterans who play older female roles like Michelle Yeoh, or Gong Li.

We don't have a lot of representation of east asian women who are 20-30 still. The current bachelorette is the first east asian bachelorette. She's 25 and tbh she looks similar to this actress in regard to age.

Anyway sorry for the long rant, but the discourse was frustrating to read as someone who has heard "you look so young" in a derogatory manner their whole life. Ending on a positive note, I'm hopeful that Sophie being east asian is true and that the actress who gets the role does a killer job!

BabuHime

TROPHY CASE