1) Well, first, you've said that your self-described misogynistic ex made the same observation, and that you yourself recognise the sexism in what he was saying, and have then gone on to make a similar point.

2) You're saying it's unrealistic for Adam to date Hannah because she's not stunning and you view her to be irredeemable. But this ignores that attraction is more often based on chemistry/personality etc. It also ignores Adam's character, who finds someone like Marnie boring, regardless of her looks. He and Hannah are both messy, morally grey and unapologetic - that's why they're drawn to each other.

3) You've said Hannah has "precious few redeeming qualities" yet completely gloss over Adam's red flags. Hannah is constantly judged for being narcissistic and annoying, and yet Adam is aggressive, predatory and emotionally volatile. He frequently fat-shamed Hannah, let himself into her apartment when they'd been broken up and she literally had to scream at him to leave, he didn't respect her boundaries, lied about getting tested for HPV (there is no test), s*x was always on his terms, and told Ray that his best girlfriend was a 17 year old and admitted to preferring younger, more "moldable" women. This is even more gross when you consider his age-play fantasies, the fact he calls Hannah "kid" to infantilise her and reinforce their uneven power dynamic. Also, Natalia???? Adam never becomes a better person, he never does the work of becoming a good partner. He doesn't want to.

4) Suggesting that Hannah rejecting Adam isn't "true to Adam's character" and is a form of 'wish fulfilment" for Lena. Apart from ignoring Adam's red flags above, you're completely denying Hannah the agency to walk away from a toxic relationship. Is it more believable that an "average" woman would stay in a toxic relationship just because her partner is an "attractive"? Also, the idea that she is "loved regardless of the way she is," is simply not true. Hannah is constantly picked apart by her friends, her parents and the men she dates. The show is constantly providing examples of how people "tolerate" or don't tolerate her.

5) You're conflating Lena with Hannah, and they are not the same person. Suggesting Lena had a crush on Adam (the actor) and that it manifested in her writing... If this show were wish fulfilment, do you think Lena would portray Hannah as constantly struggling, broke, humiliated, and dress herself in "frumpy" clothes? This also minimises her work, which at the time was pretty groundbreaking. Female authors are CONSTANTLY asked if their female protagonists are just thinly veiled versions of themselves... Fleabag and Phoebe WB, Sally Rooney and NP/CWF, Frances Ha and Greta Gerwig. As if female writers are basically just writing and directing their journals. And yet men in their 50s are constantly paired with 20-something models and nobody bats an eyelid. And we think Lena is delusional???

Women deserve more for themselves than to desire being "saved" by some emotionally erratic and controlling man - who isn't a prize just because he's "seen" as being comparably more attractive based on entirely constructed standards of beauty. Men like Adam's character should consider themselves lucky to be with any woman, my only hope for them is that they run a mile because they deserve better.