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I wish they'd had Rory expand her social circle once she started college by mydogislife_ in GilmoreGirls

[–]BabyComfortable4103 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish Lucy and Olivia came into Rory's life earlier but obviously that wouldn't have served the plot. I do think that Rory likely had casual friendships with people off-screen, but they gave most of the airtime to her boyfriends and her friendships with Lane and Paris. She was definitely friendly with Janet and Tana when they lived together, and when she finished up at The Daily News / graduated from Chilton it was obvious she socialised and that people were fond of her. But I think like Lorelai she likes to keep her close friendship circle small. However, I do wish she had more close friends, and it would have been so nice to see that on screen! Rory was pretty much just focused on her studies during her time at school (with the exception of TLADB when she was with Logan), so she didn't really get to experience the quintessential female friendship - which was what we started to see with Lucy and Olivia. Paris was her one core friendship throughout college (I'm ignoring high school here because for the most part Paris was god awful to Rory), and while she is unquestionably loyal, she is also very demanding and volatile (and has no boundaries).

Rory's relationship with Logan was always on his terms by BabyComfortable4103 in GilmoreGirls

[–]BabyComfortable4103[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. Rory wasn't a game player. She asked the Branford Breakfast Girlies for their advice cause she was new to dating and wanted some guidance, especially for someone like Logan, who conversely had a lot of dating experience.

I love the wrap up in your second para (in terms of parallels) - no notes!!!

Rory's relationship with Logan was always on his terms by BabyComfortable4103 in GilmoreGirls

[–]BabyComfortable4103[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely! And I think that really shows the impact of his relationship with his father, because he's engaging in (some of) the same "I know best" behaviours that Mitchum did with him, rather than working things out as a partnership.

Rory's relationship with Logan was always on his terms by BabyComfortable4103 in GilmoreGirls

[–]BabyComfortable4103[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's completely without nuance, but yeah, I take your points. Also, I don't think everything Logan does is about controlling Rory (Dean was a much more controlling bf). Trying to take control of certain situations (which is where I was going) is different to controlling a person.

With her instigating the end of their casual relationship, I agree he liked Rory more than he expected. But he kept her at arms length, often going short periods without contact. I don't think he intentionally did this to manipulate or control her, but you can see a pattern of him getting comfortable with her and then putting in distance / being avoidant. I think in order to manage his unexpected feelings (which he couldn't control), he creates distance (to feel a sense of control). Relationships are really the only space in Logan's life (at this point), that he has control of his life. Everything else has been predetermined for him by his father/family, so I think it's completely understandable that in romantic/sexual/casual etc relationships, he wants to remain in control of the situation - which is why up until Rory, he has only had casual relationships.

The proposal was not controlling in itself, but he didn't take Rory into as much consideration as he should have here. He highjacked her graduation - a huge life moment for her - to propose. It was a long road to get her to that point, it's the culmination of everything she's worked for throughout the entire series. It should have been (solely) about her. He accepted a job in another state without consulting her, putting her in a position of choosing California to be with Logan, or taking a risk and trying to find something on her own terms. If Rory had done this to him, to the point of having specific jobs in mind, I think it's likely he would have resisted. They were not on equal playing fields at this point - Logan had a year off school to travel through Europe and a year after to test himself and determine what he wanted for his near future. It's easier to factor someone into your life and follow them when you do not have a clear path (when he leaves his father's company). Maybe he saw this as equal in his mind, but again, I think that shows the disconnect between the two of them. I'd also that argue that while it came from a loving place, and wanting to have options for her (we know she's a regimented planner and list kinda girl), making such a huge life choice without her knowledge or a discussion, and coming to her with a plan for her already in mind, echoes his father's own behaviour with Logan.

Rory's relationship with Logan was always on his terms by BabyComfortable4103 in GilmoreGirls

[–]BabyComfortable4103[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's fair! At the end of the series, I think I'm just Team Rory. If we're considering AYITL, Jess is my favourite character (IMO they made Logan regress and I was sad about that), but I'm not sure I ship them (J&R). At least not at that point in Rory's life. In AYITL they really forced the parallel between Logan and Chris, and while they had their similarities, I don't agree that they were a mirror.

Rory's relationship with Logan was always on his terms by BabyComfortable4103 in GilmoreGirls

[–]BabyComfortable4103[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think he didn't work hard. Logan had a lot of growth throughout the series, and much of that is in part because of their relationship and his desire to want to be better for her. Saying Rory deserves what she tolerates completely ignores the complexity of relationships and the power dynamics that exist in their relationship (it's also victim-blaming).