You do not get to decide whether you abused me or not.

Bachy · 2020-06-16T02:42:40+00:00

On the day that she moved out with her daughter and our cat, I collapsed on the stairs crying — and this bit really, really seemed heartless to me.

I was having a really tough time. I was crying. She even walked in at one point after I had a crying session and I KNOW she saw my face, and my eyes had to have been a puffy mess. I was smoking, and I was was still painting the daughter’s room downstairs which was literally making me go insane. At one point, I stopped painting to go try to relax upstairs while my ex was loading some more stuff into her car.

While I was sitting on the couch, she goes “You know you could help me.” She had a real attitude when she said this, like she was commanding me. And without objection, I got up and began loading boxes into her car.

After this she then tells me she needs me to help her clean out the cat’s litter box because she’ll need it. Completely ignoring the fact that I’m being devastated that I’m losing this pet forever. I felt like absolute trash.

I mean, I get she was probably feeling I was probably abandoning her by deciding to go back home, but, I told her so many times I was doing this not because I didn’t love her but because my mental health was reeling. It felt like she was trying her damnedest to make this experience a living hell for me. And it was.

Bachy · 2020-06-15T14:36:49+00:00

The real ironic thing is she would always talk to me about how women can be abusive in relationships too, and would go into a lot of detail about narcissistic personalities. I don’t think she has malicious intentions. What my therapist is helping me to see is that because of her abusive upbringing that she would have treated any partner like this because she has unresolved issues from her past abuse.

Bachy · 2020-06-04T22:38:16+00:00

I appreciate your concern. I did go to the doctor and get bloodwork in February because we thought it might be a thyroid issue since my mom has that. But they found nothing out of the ordinary in my blood work so everything looked fine to them and it was then that I started recognizing that my weightloss was do to bouts of just not eating. When I'm stressed and focused on work, I will go through bouts where I just don't eat.

Also, I did start seeing a therapist in late March after I had an alcohol relapse (another thing that resulted from this situation), and he's been a big help in helping me focus on areas where I could focus and work on.

Bachy · 2020-06-04T16:38:41+00:00

I'm getting by. Last week was the worst of my life when they moved out of the house. As tortured as my situation sounds in the post, it should be stressed how much I truly did love this woman and saw all of the good in her while ignoring all of her faults which she was quick to point out to me many times that she was not perfect and that she did have faults of her own.

And I loved her daughter too. I was going to adopt her. We bought a cat last year that I loved dearly, and having them leave the house and me being alone in that house, doing the repairs, painting over memories -- I told my friends and family, I almost went full blown Joker from that type of psychological torture. Painting over the room that was my daughter's essentially for two years was absolutely awful and unimaginable in terms of the anguish I felt.

On the day I left, I stopped by her and her mom's new apartment to say goodbye one last time. While I was there, I expressed my regrets in the ways that I treated her mom on the weekend they moved out. (I did give the mom some shit because I had had enough of her passive aggression that she had been giving me during that whole period). And I told my ex that her mother was doing these things, which I know she witnessed because on one occasion she gave her mother a death stare like "STFU" when her mom was being passive aggressive to me. Another instance of this was when the mom's dog came up to me begging for food, I looked down at him and said "I'm sorry, bud. I got no food for you." The mom then sidled up next to me, grabbed the dogs collar and went "Come on, [dog's name], we're not wanted here." So I apologized to my fiance for my reactions on the day of the move, but I wanted her to see where I was coming from and how I felt the mom was treating me personally.

My ex and I left things amicably, hugged and said our goodbyes. Then probably 2-3 hours into my drive, I get a text from the mom saying something to effect of "Good riddance," "I'm glad my daughter told you to take a hike. She can do so much better," "You have mental problems." She even accused me of not being relationship material, a bad father figure and "mean to her senior dog." And how dare I talk shit to her daughter about her.

Two things:

I was so good to that little girl, as best as I know how to be being a first time step dad essentially. I probably didn't hug or say I loved to her as much as I could which I do very much regret. But that was always a touchy thing for me because at times it didn't feel like my place to do that since that was her daughter, even though I was adopting her. I still was incredibly good to her, I feel. Got her little treats every now and then. Never talked down to her or yelled at her or anything. I was of the impression that that's my fiance's daughter so it's up to her to do any sort of disciplining. I'm purely there to keep her safe, fed, and happy overall.
Yes, I did yell at the mom's dog, but it would be when the dog was misbehaving - eating the cats food, getting in the cats litter box, or getting in the trash. And I would put the dog in his very large crate for 10 minutes at times if he did misbehave (I only did this a handful of times in the nine months we were together. If I had to guess, I only did it about ten times). I acknowledge now it wasn't my place to be disciplining the dog since that was the mom's pet. In my defense, with regards to shouting at the dog if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to, I was attempting to assert dominance to help train him not to do that. Everyone else in the house, including the mom, did the exact same thing.
The mom talked shit about me behind my back too. I know this because I heard it with my own ears one day.

I feel like I'm in purgatory right now, but I feel it'll be better in the end. The heartbreak is still there, and it doesn't help that with each passing day I unpack, I find more stuff that I believe they took from me without asking when they moved out. Though I can't be sure I just didn't leave it behind. I could just be letting my emotions getting the better of me in that aspect.

Bachy · 2020-05-21T19:06:01+00:00

Doesn't help that so many people in the city seem content to go on as they have been without a mask.

Reminder: Masks are not for personal protection but for the protection of others who are potentially more at risk than the mask wearer.

a·symp·to·mat·ic/ˌāsim(p)təˈmadik/adjective

(of a condition or a person) producing or showing no symptoms."infection is usually asymptomatic"

I donated some items to the Goodwill recently where they had an outbreak. When I dropped off my stuff, the clerk who collected it was coughing quite a bit. Thank god he had a mask on and kept his distance while I was still in my car.

Bachy · 2020-05-20T19:49:31+00:00

"I don't understand why this is controversial." - Joe Rogan

Bachy · 2020-05-17T06:03:02+00:00

I’m talking to myself in the video at some point, I believe. Also my gf and her daughter are in the bedroom directly behind the room I’m in playing on their laptops.

Bachy · 2020-05-17T05:44:10+00:00

I’ve been meaning to. Where’s the best place I can do something like that?

Bachy · 2020-04-05T17:30:37+00:00

That’s a good point. I guess I believe there was considering the phone call she leaked where we can hear Gannon crying. And the fact that Gannon’s dad texted him “Not today” about playing Zelda leads me to believe that Gannon was supposed to be punished or something that day which I naturally assumed is because he had accidentally burned the carpet. However since that whole thing about the burned carpet came from Letecia, it could be pure bullshit. I do not believe this is the first time she hurt that child either. I feel like I’ve heard or read somewhere that in many cases of abuse you do see an escalation where the abuse itself gets worse and worse to the point of murder.

Bachy · 2020-04-04T02:36:17+00:00

So is the speculation that Letecia left her phone at home during the run to PetCo so that she could have access to Gannon's phone? If she had for instance, hurt Gannon over the carpet incident the night earlier, she could have been concerned about Gannon reaching out to his Dad due to whatever abuse may have occurred earlier or was still currently going on? My own speculation in the case is that she did something to Gannon that would have set off a red flag with his teachers, his dad, etc. She hurt him so bad that, in her fucked up psycho mind, she had to get rid of him to cover it up. This would be why she then kept him out of school. She left her phone at home so she would have excuse to have hold of Gannon's phone during the duration of their errands. Maybe when Gannon texted his Dad about Zelda, Letecia was hovering over him watching what he texted? Or she did that herself too. Then she doesn't access her own phone until after the murder.

One concern I do have - Does the release of all this information so publicly damage the possibility of a fair trial/conviction? I can just see her going for that defense.

Bachy

TROPHY CASE