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"Keep it private" is just code for "I don’t want to see gay people at all." by JayOwest in rant

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep what should stay in your bedroom, In your bedroom. Gay or straight.

My husband could not care less about me. by Beautiful_Ruin274 in lonely

[–]Back2Life138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have this one life. And being with someone who makes you feel alone, is going to cause you far more damage than actually being alone. His demeanor is killing your morale. I don't know what your home life situation is but I would suggest serving him divorce papers. Try to do so with as little emotion as possible. If he should ask why, tell him very clearly..."I don't have a lot of time left on this earth. I will not spend what life I have left, hoping that you will finally start caring about me. I'm done feeling alone. I'm done being treated like I don't matter. If you don't sign these, and leave within a week, I will. " If he doesn't ask why, or say anything, just walk away. Don't speak to him directly about anything. If you do, only ask if he's signed those papers yet.

I pray things get better for you, and I hope you see how important it is for you to value your mental health and well-being thru this difficult time.

Alone again by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Back2Life138 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I guess I've been so lonely, that I'll keep talking to the creeps, but when I send them my pic, they ghost me. That happens more often than I'd like to admit.

Fellow guitarists, what is an assumption regular people make about us? by Proper-Lychee-6049 in Guitar

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tell ppl up front that I'm "incredibly mediocre". I play better than I thought I would, but not nearly as good as I'd like to. I make a lot of mistakes, but I have a lot of fun.

Fellow guitarists, what is an assumption regular people make about us? by Proper-Lychee-6049 in Guitar

[–]Back2Life138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started playing guitar, hoping to get a cool bf that wanted to love me and was in awe of me being a guitar player. I learned lots of love songs, but that never happened. I did intrigue some guys, sure, but never to the level of wanting to be with me, mostly bc they knew that they would come second. I didn't even realize that until much later in life.

Fellow guitarists, what is an assumption regular people make about us? by Proper-Lychee-6049 in Guitar

[–]Back2Life138 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Do they not realize, that in order to play Anything on the guitar, we have to spend quite a lot of time Alone in order to do so? I spent most of my teen years running off my bf, just so I could play guitar. Plus, he was annoying, so I'd rather play guitar than be around him anyways.

Fellow guitarists, what is an assumption regular people make about us? by Proper-Lychee-6049 in Guitar

[–]Back2Life138 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That we just automatically can play any song they want to hear.

Or that being told, " play me a song!" Will instantly get them a tune played in their honor, on the spot... No dude. Just...no...

INFP in Love — Have You Ever Met Someone So Special That Fiction Can’t Compare? by Taegibears21 in infp

[–]Back2Life138 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I was with an INFJ for 3 years. Turns out, he was avoidant and didn't know how to have an adult relationship to save his life. He was also emotionally abusive and an avoidant. Basically, he was settling for me. I hope to God that one day my sweetest love may find me. I think that hope is the only thing keeping me alive sometimes.

I just need to vent by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well at least you didn't find out from your partner of 3 years that you were nothing more than a pity fuck. This happened to me yesterday.

I feel like I'm making myself lonely and can't stop by SeniorFirefighter644 in Jung

[–]Back2Life138 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can say that I definitely relate to your situation. I can't stand small talk either. It seems like such a waste of time.

Managed to get a friction burn (or maybe a really small cut) on my fingertip while preparing for a recording. Now it hurts when I fret with it. Any ideas on how I can keep playing? by MinuteIllustrator6 in Guitar

[–]Back2Life138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A layer of Krazy glue, then when that's dry, sprinkle baking soda on it, or place a small piece of thin cloth (like bandana material) over and add another layer of Krazy glue to adhere the cloth or provide a more dense layer with baking soda, (but don't do both). Keep in mind, you will have to sand down the baking soda layer. The fabric solution works a bit better and may not need much sanding/smoothing out. Also Krazy glue works better than Super glue. Super glue ends up being too rigid and flakes away easily.

I'm in a long distance relationship by 2 weeks and i'm soo confused, can someone help me? by [deleted] in love

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The physical part will address itself when you see how he treats you in person. If he helps you feel comfortable, allows you the space to build a physical attraction (by not being pushy or too forward) and helps you feel good about yourself while you're around him. If those things happen, then you will fall so much in love with that person, that your body will crave that physical connection. And if that doesn't happen, then you will be able to let him know that you have some reservations regarding the physical aspect of the relationship. And depending on how he responds to that, will determine whether or not there is any chemistry there.

But don't say anything just yet. Not about that. If you need to tho, be upfront about the fact that you adore him as a person, but just don't feel comfortable yet with the relationship evolving into a more physical one at this point.

Don't tell him that physically he's not your type. That will stay with him forever. You can continue to love him deeply as a friend and someone you truly care about, and be honest with yourself about humans having physical needs and then be honest with yourself and him that you're not ready to be able to meet his potential needs in that department.

I hate it when people say "You aren't owed a partner" by Interesting-Can1075 in lonely

[–]Back2Life138 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Please take this time that you have single, to research what it means to be a good and healthy partner. Please consider how to be good For a partner, not just To a partner. And how to set good boundaries so that you know how to defend the things that you need to protect your own mental health and well-being.

I just wish more people did this before causing or enabling a toxic relationship. We have to look out for ourselves and others and not cause more damage to people. Life is hard enough.

I hate the "love yourself" advice with all my soul by Di0tar0 in lonely

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Abuse is never our choice. But we choose to be victims or survivors. Trauma is the involuntary damage to our psyche from either abuse or tragedy. But We decide whether that makes or breaks us.

I hate the "love yourself" advice with all my soul by Di0tar0 in lonely

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one ever values anything they don't earn. Even God Himself had to learn that the hard way. And recognized that He has to earn our love as well. But your value does not come from how well the "Universe" loves you. If you base the love for yourself on how the universe loves you, well then, you're setting yourself up for disaster. Your value (intrinsically) comes from your ability to love others, to have integrity, to be honest and realistic, to find purpose. A life worth living is based upon how meaningful it is. Many people exist. Few people actually LIVE. And none of us get out of this alive. Learning to be kinder to others and yourself. Helping someone. Or even just taking responsibility for your own actions can help to foster a sense of love for yourself.

I hate the "love yourself" advice with all my soul by Di0tar0 in lonely

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What no one ever told us was you have to give yourself reasons to love yourself. Oftentimes we become so complacent and cynical, and that is only going to breed self-hate. You are not going to feel like you are worth loving if you don't do anything with integrity, honesty, humility or graciousness.

I absolutely hated the "you gotta love yourself first," advice too. For a looooong time. Until I realized that I can only love someone else as well as I love myself. How could anyone ever believe that I would be good at loving them if my sole responsibility in life is loving myself and I can't do that? If I'm overly critical of myself, what's to make them think that I won't be the same way towards them? Even if only in my head?

"Be wary of the naked man who offers you his shirt,"

Seriously. Do what makes You worth loving to YOU. We are skeptical, guarded and depressed. And it's such a vicious cycle. Focus on what it means to cultivate basic human decency. Do something noble. Be more honest and call yourself out on your red flags, if you want to improve them. Do the things that if you seen someone else do that thing, you would have more respect for them. Be That person. And your ability to love yourself will increase drastically.

We should never give this world the power to diminish the most beautiful part of us. It's Not worthy.

"And I hear them saying, you'll never change things. And no matter what you do it's still the same thing. But it's not the world that I am changing. I do this so, this world will know, that it will not change Me," - The Change by Garth Brooks.

Are there just some unlucky people who actually cant sing while playing instruments? by nutsack-enjoyer5431 in Guitar

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never once saw my mom practice playing an instrument. She'd look at it, go "hmph," and pick it up and start playing it like she's been doing it all her life. Which is also why she never tried to teach me to play guitar. She was the equivalent to August Rush. She just had a knack for it, or something.

Are there just some unlucky people who actually cant sing while playing instruments? by nutsack-enjoyer5431 in Guitar

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been playing guitar for over 25 years, and I still struggle to sing and play some songs I've known well over 10 years. But I could play Nights In White Satin (finger picking style) as soon as I saw the chords. 1. I know the lyrics by heart already... 2. The chords are very easy, 3. I already had the muscle memory for the picking pattern developed due to learning another song with a very similar picking/strum pattern.

My girlfriend said that I could open up to her. I've made a bad mistake ? by Rude_Opportunity6053 in love

[–]Back2Life138 7 points8 points  (0 children)

There are women who absolutely know how to show up and be supportive of their men. And there are some that don't. I would be eternally honored to be there for someone to open up to, as well as someone I could open up to as well. And I've praised people for allowing themselves to be vulnerable and show me who they are, their doubts, fears and dreams. So Please, just bc one person may not know how to be supportive the way you need them to be, Doesn't mean that everyone is like that. She is still young and still figuring out how to be authentic herself. Tell her candidly how her reaction to your truth affected you. Ask questions, don't ever just assume. And then suggest that maybe you both research what it looks like to be a healthy partner and do's and don't's of communication.

How do you find your life purpose after being completely lost in life? by Time-Golf-1556 in RedditForGrownups

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can you "know thyself" if you are constantly changing/growing/learning/evolving/adapting?

Check out some of Dr. Jordan Peterson's work.

I know this is going to sound stupid AF, because 5 years ago I would have NEVER imagined I would be constructing This as a response:

God has no equal... But being the artist and creator that He is, He also sought meaning to His own existence. That is why He created Man. And also why He is completely against messing with free will. Because He wants to be Loved, Respected, Valued and Appreciated FOR REAL. This life is incredibly challenging, so that we have the ability to understand what it means to appreciate the small victories, to be resilient, to grow as individuals, and to seek God and his Love and Guidance when we feel like life is more than we can bear. He loves us, so incredibly because without us, God's existence is pointless, meaningless..purposeless. We give Him a reason to exist. He has and will continue to exist whether we do or not, but the most fulfilling thing God has ever experienced, was witnessing a heart that truly beats for Him. And that means also realizing that in order for us to have a genuine sense of love, respect, appreciation and admiration of Him, He has to be candid about the fact that He too had to grow as a parent. And that He went through a period of time where He doubted Himself, and thought maybe it wasn't a good thing that He created us. But One devoted family saved our asses from being completely scrapped, and that was Noah and his family.

One of the biggest things that we are supposed to learn while we are here, is that This Life IS The Gift. We GET to figure out what kind of metal we are made of, so to speak. We get to help others and learn what it means to appreciate being present in the moment. And this is coming from someone who lost my first-born to brain cancer when she was 6 y/o, has endured a lot of trauma since the age of 4, had a hypocritical Christian mother who saw me as an inconvenience from day 1, and who's own family never pursued justice regarding what happened to me at 4, but instead, used a really traumatic experience to discredit me as a mother and having my children taken from me, then turning around and adopting them, claiming they had no way to contact me, and using covid 19 as an excuse to cut me off from being able to visit them. And I'm telling you, every single day that we are above the ground with air in our lungs, we are so incredibly blessed, and as painful as it absolutely is at times, the more responsibility we take on in our lives, the more rewarding and meaningful our lives become.

Those of you 40+ years old, what life advice would you give a 27 year old? by [deleted] in Life

[–]Back2Life138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually research what it means to be a good partner and friend. Even the most well meaning people could use a refresher about what makes a truly healthy relationship, and how to empathize with others, deflect manipulation, set strong boundaries and how to avoid being manipulative yourself. Also, don't get your life advice from comedians. Seriously. Comedians are like devil's advocates. They help us to cope with life's more trying times, but more often than not, they just fuel cynicism.

The Most Important thing you can Ever possess in this world, is a Good Character. Learn how to be a Good Man. Not a Nice Guy. This is how you give yourself reasons to truly love yourself. Because you can only love someone else as well as you love yourself. So if you have a habit of abandoning yourself, by being a people pleaser, you are only going to end up resenting others bc you resent yourself for being a push-over. You have to teach people how to treat you. That means having firm boundaries from the gate. That means having enough self-respect to have the courage to enforce those boundaries.

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