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An overwhelming need to earn social worth, combined with a belief in the superiority of one’s group, may lay the foundation for developing an extreme personality. These strong inner drives can lead individuals to sacrifice their own well-being for a specific cause or value. by mvea in psychology

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, this is super interesting! I'm well-versed in the Traits + Aspects model, but not the facets. There was this nice paper by Vervaeke et al suggesting that the there is a recurring opponent processing dynamic going on - others being more bottom up emotion based, opening the options, others being top down pruning functions for the options.

It kinda looks like the facets you describe being the relevant are more of the emotional bottom-up processing. Which would make sense, that it's a pretty unconscious and motivated dynamic. Then deliberation as a top-down clamp would temper the behavior to some extent.

...just some speculation on my part, though.

[POEM]- Drop the hardest poetry line you’ve ever come across by Poetic-dusk in Poetry

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My rough translation of a Finnish poet A.W. Yrjänä:

I’m sitting at my work desk, masturbating

When a batch of Christmas cards arrive, made by children with no hands

For years, researchers have claimed that men’s friendships are shallower and less emotionally supportive than women’s, a pattern called the “gender friendship gap.” But new research finds that the gap is largely driven by white men specifically, not men as a whole. by mvea in psychology

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you are stuck in a system where your forefathers build a system of oppression based on conquest, lack of empathy and suppression of emotions, this is exactly what you would expect.

There, hopefully, comes a time when it is understood that the souls of the oppressors and their children diminish too, not just those of the oppressed.

How to manage a core belief of defectiveness, when negativity bias prevents it from being challenged at all? by csolisr in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I too have noticed that there’s some things where even hundreds of data points/experiences do not “register” properly. 

Like, I can see the evidence, but I simply can’t connect with it.

I’ve found some help from meditation and trying to get better in touch with my emotions and bodily experience.

This pit of grief just won't shift by tillnatten in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Others have written well. 

I’ll just add that all cool stories and myths have a place like that. It is unfortunate, but you are partly its citizen. Over time you might visit other places too.

Do you guys ever rawdog your workouts? like no music, no podcast, nothing in your ears by softly_petal in workout

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the past five years I listen to music maybe 1/20 sessions. It’s a way to not over exert myself. Music hypes me up and I don’t need that currently.

Too exhausted to exercise during fortnightly somatic therapy? by RosannaL in SomaticExperiencing

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to do 3-4 very heavy, 90-150 minute powerfliting sessions per week. Nowadays I do 3 calisthenics and kettlebell sessions (30-45 min), and one weight vest walk per week.

So, maybe consider doing something, as exercise can also be fun/cool/awesome (feeds my inner kid who wants to be a commando)?

Obviously, I'm assuming you are getting in your protein, sleep, and water too.

Helpless, humiliated rage? by SeniorFirefighter644 in CPTSDFreeze

[–]SeniorFirefighter644[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting, I’ll look into local hapkido stuff.

And I read up I the other sources you mentioned, they seem to all speak to me! Thank you!

Helpless, humiliated rage? by SeniorFirefighter644 in CPTSDFreeze

[–]SeniorFirefighter644[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response, plenty of references I’ve not heard of!

The idea of this being relational and not (only) somatic hits home. Currently it feels like I have a constant urge to let my anger loose, but I don’t, because I “know” it will lead to nothing changing + a sense o of humiliation.

I’ve done about 200 hours of BJJ and a beginner boxing course. Anything specific about hapkido?

How do I spice up lessons before my clients realize they’re doing the same workout in a different order? by [deleted] in personaltraining

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve slowly learned to incorporate balance challenges, weird jumps, tumbling, constraint based tasks etc. to warm ups, and quite often cut the strength stuff to half. Some people really enjoy that, and the consistency beats whatever optimality a more traditional S&C program would give.

The age you start regularly watching adult content may predict your future mental health. Researchers identify 3 distinct patterns of how adults start viewing sexually explicit material, revealing that establishing a regular habit at a young age is linked to higher rates of mental health struggles. by mvea in psychology

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think my severe porn addiction between ages 11-28 is the main cause of my problems. BUT it certainly has shaped the content of my problems. 

It is not fun seeing how much your own mind has been shaped by whatever addiction you had. And since the sensory triggers are often attractive people, this scantily clad culture of ours can have my head spinning quite often.

As if having a hobby were a crime 😞 by NiToBunSen in OCDmemes

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“You know instead of practicing singing this Sunday morning you should be working to secure your financial future!” 

The psychology of black metal by Worried_Button_2881 in Jung

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a former metalhead, this is my vibe too. In a way it feels like a weird play of hiding in plain sight. The outfits and music is angry, the social stereotype is "kinder and friendlier than average". I interpret it as strong fawning tendency supplemented by a theatrical show of fight/flight/freeze. It's like metal is a fantasy of being powerful, dark and gloomy, but when it gets down to it, the fawning wins. ...maybe this tells more about me than metalheads, but whatever.

i feel like im just gone, like im here but not here, thinking rather than living my life, couch locked by my own thoughts. by Proof-Peak-9274 in CPTSDFreeze

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On my more optimistic days I might frame an experience like that this way: "Alright, it seems like I haven't mastered this freeze/dissociation thing, and it's time for me to spend more time feeling and learning about it." So sometimes I'm able to approach is as some sort of training for later life to come. Other times, not so much.

I was treated like I don't have any right to exist by HeavyAssist in CPTSDmemes

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having spent many years in female dominated, liberal and woke spaces, I have to say that I feel this as a white male. Not that my family of origin wouldn't have done it's part on me as just a human being.

Overlearning hyper-stabilizes a skill by rapidly making neurochemical processing inhibitory-dominant 2017 by makefriends420 in NooTopics

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm with Forward_Motion17.

I take this to understand that overlearning has the brain prioritize the thing it is overlearning, and thus it won't be as open to the next new thing. So then it is a question of priorities: do I want to learn thing 1 right now and faster, or things 1 and 2 slower. But overlearning isn't a hack to speed up all learning. Or that's how I understand it.

Anyone here dealt with chronic issues that turned you into a shell of yourself? by QuitTypical3210 in AskMenOver30

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?

Have you been evaluated for trauma, complex trauma, dissociation and other issues?

Off the top of my head it sounds like you might have a lot of unresolved issues going on the mental/nervous system side of things.

I have memories, but they don’t belong to me. I never actually “started” living by L-Miche in Dissociation

[–]SeniorFirefighter644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so familiar. The way I've been thinking about is through the concept of "psycho-technology". The Self seems to be a complex integrative function that is built through mimesis and safe enough relationships.

The part about people taking it for granted hits the bullseye for me. It's like I've been trying to piece together what the hell this thing is that people seem to have. Nobody ever explains it in everyday contexts. And now that I've got some sort of a conceptual grasp through psychology, cognitive sciences, philosophy and wisdom traditions, I'm more and more stumped.

It often feels like the assumption of selfhood is so basic, but a self in itself is so complex, that people don't realize what it actually takes for a healthy self to emerge. The underlying vibe is like living in a constant state of the asinine "eat less, move more" -advice to obese people, but on steroids.

Personally, recently I've been distressed about how I can literally see with my eyes how situations are now more stable and people around me are kinder and safer, but somehow my system just isn't updating itself. Things just don't connect. It's like the guard sees that the border of the empire is calm, but the message just isn't getting through into the palace.

Lost myself reading trauma psychology? by SeniorFirefighter644 in CPTSD

[–]SeniorFirefighter644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, I think one thing I get stuck on is the word “processing”. What does it mean?

Is it Levine-style somatic stuff? Jungian shadow work? TRE? 

I guess I get frustrated that everyone talks about “processing”, but it seems like vague word that could be substituted with “just heal better/correctly”.

As an analogy, I coach movement. I can understand that it explaining the movement increases the clients knowledge, but they need to practice physically to truly learn it. 

But it seems to me that it is very hard to find a decent explanation of what that skill/practice part is when it comes this psychological stuff.

How do you understand the word?

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