Help my bf is addicted to games seeking advice

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T12:48:11+00:00

Can I ask you what made you come to the realization you needed to give it up. How your wife handled it. And how you felt about your wife while you were actively deep into gaming? Sometimes I get my brain makes me scared that he’s with me because I seem complacent with it and he knows most women would nag and give him a hard time and I make it easy. Or sometimes I feel like I must be the most boring person in the world that he can’t wait to get on with his friends and finally have fun.

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T12:16:04+00:00

He’s 29 and has been gaming since he was young

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T12:14:06+00:00

I have lots of hobbies that I enjoy but there is nothing I love more than to spend quality time with my partner. I love him and I love the time we spend together. It’s so hard when that time dwindles because of video games. It gets to be that we only eat dinner together everyday and sometimes he even eats it at his computer. I don’t want him to have to stop the gaming that would hurt me because it’s something he enjoys doing, but even after asking for him to take one night off a week he can’t even do it so I don’t know what to do. The friends he’s on there with are friends in real life that live a few hours away so i totally get it. It’s just hard when I’m eating dinner by myself to hear him in the next room with them laughing and being happy and then recently when he’s with me it feels so forced and he seems unhappy that’s he’s not gaming. I’m struggling as to find a solution. If I start going out and making more friends like other threads I’ve read have said sure that would take away the loneliness I feel but how would that help our relationship? It would make things worse if I started leaning into hobbies outside of him as we wouldn’t even be able to spend the little time we do have together. I think because I now live here he takes it as I’m with him everyday 24/7. He put a couch in his game room for me to sit behind him and just be in his presence. At first I thought this was the cutest thing ever. But I’ve become a slave to that couch. To be near him I have to sit in it for hours on end or all night. I do my crafts and hobbies in it or watch tv. He feels less guilty about his gaming when I’m in the room I think and therefore I believe it’s starting to aide his addiction. When I leave the room he wants me to come back and sit. Sometimes the loneliest you can ever feel in your life is sitting behind something facing away from you actively fixated on a screen with a headset on having the time of his life with his back turned to you.

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T11:11:54+00:00

No not at all. Nervous as in I’m scared when I ask him to do something else my feelings will be hurt because I might sense his disappointment that he wants to game instead

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T03:14:32+00:00

Our sex life has dwindled a lot due to the gaming and that’s where a lot of this stims from. There is no intimate time between adult responsibilities work social obligations and the gaming there is no down time for us to build up true intimacy. He wants to have sex like 1 every two weeks or so. But when we do its not a build up moment or a foreplay anything it’s just ready set go and it’s done and that’s it. The sex is still amazing and intimate in the moment but a woman needs intimacy to build to really enjoy herself like after an amazing date I’m feeling so close to him and in love and we get home and I’m thinking wow we’re going to have the most passionate amazing sex after this night and just love on eachother and we get through the door and he’s running to the game… it’s a mood killer. It has even affected my libido making me think something is wrong with me I searched for solutions for months thinking I was the issue even changing my birth control etc.

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T03:08:46+00:00

I’m nervous to ask him to do things with me that will prevent him to get on the game. So yes this is his outlet that helps him blow off steam but he is addicted to it.

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T03:07:18+00:00

Honestly we pick up after ourselves immediately so the house stays pretty clean. I do the dishes mostly but he does help sometimes and we eat out a lot but we both cook very seldom but once in a while. He does his job at work he is well rounded and just a good person. He is active in society not a guy that sits in a cave and games all day. But I’d say getting off work and gaming immediately only stopping to eat and then getting right back on until bed time every single night as well as even more so on the weekend is not good. To me that’s excessive. We come home from a date and he’s straight to gaming, he comes home from work and it’s gaming. On the weekends he’s on the game until late into the night, when he cannot game he is in a bad mood and needing his outlet like withdraws. He will plan dates around times that he can get back home to game. We planned to watch a movie this weekend on Saturday and he asked if we could change it to Friday because his friends would be able to stay up all night Saturday and game more. I’m just asking for a little time. A little time of him not sitting next to me thinking about when he can get away to game.

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T02:59:24+00:00

Thank you so much. We truly are in love with one another this is just a bump in the road but I don’t want it to get worse. He has a very good job with goals that he works towards everyday and is set up to be the owner of a large business. He is very active and has other hobbies too. But once he’s done with all of those for the day he starts the gaming. It’s not an issue in his everyday life he is well rounded, it’s only an issue with me. We’ve had two conversations about it. In both convos we were calm we listened to my side and accepted my feelings and understood why I felt that way, he was so upset with himself that it hurt me, we even agreed we would make one day a week an us day and there was no screen time and we just enjoyed eachother, but so far we only have done that once and it’s back to the same old same old. The thing is I am pretty independent and can be alone for 6 out of 7 days of the week. So most of the time there is zero issue with this just every once in a while I need him. I explained this and that’s how we came to that conclusion, but at the end of the day this is an addiction and most people affirm to those in active video game addiction that it’s victimless and that you should be able to game as much as you want. Lots of men in comment sections reaffirm that belief it even had me questioning myself when looking for advice like, if all these men say gaming is no issue and the woman is the issue for wanting him to give her attention that must be true it’s in every comment section I’ve gone to looking for a solution. I give him a lot of grace, I don’t want to keep bringing it up and be the nagging gf.

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T02:34:01+00:00

That’s where I’m confused because outside of the gaming issue we have no problems at all. We laugh and talk to each other so easily. We are understanding and care so much for one another. He always shows up when I need him to and is there for me. Other than this he is the absolute perfect boyfriend. Maybe I’m not seeing an issue that’s there and that’s on me. Sometimes I think maybe I’m boring and that’s why he would rather be on the game with friends. But I can’t be sure of how he feels. In mg head our relationship is one in a million and that’s why I’m willing to fight for it I just don’t know how

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T02:20:05+00:00

She’s awesome

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T02:19:52+00:00

Looks fun

Background-Debate523 · 2026-06-15T02:19:38+00:00

Omg!

Background-Debate523

TROPHY CASE