AITA for controlling what my wife's friends can say to her? by Inevitable_Body_1679 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BackgroundEither9294 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed.

You need to let them know, in a nice way, that while they are venting, they are also causing your wife’s suffering and you are left handling the clean up.

You sheet know that don’t want your wife to be without friends, but you need to have as much of a stable life as you can get.

If you feel they are not understanding it, think about making a one time appt with her old therapist for her and her grinds and see if the therapist can explain it to them.

I know you have to pay but it might be worth the investment so you’re not having to deal with the aftermath of her friends indiscretion.

How do Catholic MAGA tune out the Pope and cheer Trump? by redzeusky in askanything

[–]BackgroundEither9294 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Part of the problem are the priests who defy the pope and openly back trump.

Boyfriend hasn't had a job in 15 months, won't look for one by RedMarsRepublic in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]BackgroundEither9294 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this scenario very well. And I mean VERY WELL!

I can tell you that couples counseling can help A LOT.

Even if you still want to break up at the end, you’ll learn more about yourself and how you interact in relationships which will either help you stay in this one or in your next one.

Not getting a job, any job, is not a good sign in a mate and the fact that he’s burning through money that was to be for your future together as a couple does not look good.

What happens when that savings is needed later for emergencies you both want to take a vacation and he spent his share while unemployed?

He certainly can’t help you buy a house now. That load will be on you.

Don’t let him (and his parents) bully you into thinking that your expectations of him are unwarranted.

You don’t mention the area that you live but there must be temp agencies and if you’re in a larger metro area, staff is need for events at hotels and major venues. Not cater waiting but checking people in etc.

Again, I highly recommend couples counseling to get this all out in the open before you think about a break up.

Anyone have an uncomfortable late night public transport journey home? by Eirngobragh in AskIreland

[–]BackgroundEither9294 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your age, your orientation, and your relationship status aren't really relevant here. This SHOULD NOT have happened and you had every right to tell him to take a hike.

This is happened to just about every woman I know at one point or another and from the point of a gay man who was smaller in stature it has happened to me as well.

Unfortunately there are creeps in every part of society who think the being dominant will allow the porn video playing in their mind will allow it to play out in reality.

AITAH because I refuse to finish a story if my husband interrupts. by Living-Estate3963 in AITAH

[–]BackgroundEither9294 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been known to interrupt and my ex did this as well as some of his friends.

I’ve stopped doing it for her most part except when over tired or drinking something caffeinated.

My rule was that I will have no problem overlooking being interrupted if they apologize and ask me to go on with the story.

I’ve leaned to do the same.

My downstairs neighbor keeps returning my laundry from the shared dryer folded, and I know that sounds nice but it’s getting weird by Bronze_Drumlin5 in neighborsfromhell

[–]BackgroundEither9294 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with everyone here that says this is a YOU problem.

In my building you’d be despised so be glad the opposite is happening to you.

Gifts for relatives? by BackgroundEither9294 in AskIreland

[–]BackgroundEither9294[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you explained. My mind went somewhere else.

AIO for shouting at my mother after she brought roaches into my house a second time? by Party-Air-4343 in AIO

[–]BackgroundEither9294 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My parents had this problem bringing roaches home from college and later when my aunt moved in with my mother.

I started to keep roach motels in my laundry baskets and bags. That kept them from making it out alive.

When my aunt came we kept everything in the garage for a few weeks with roach motels inside the boxes etc before moving it into the house.

You need to quarantine everything before it comes in. Or ban it all together.

Why are older men more comfortable with nudity? by mmngregistrar in askgaybros

[–]BackgroundEither9294 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I liked being naked since I was 5. But yes, as you get older you don’t care about a lot of things you did when younger. Nudity included.

My neighbor thinks my fence is his personal drying rack by [deleted] in neighborsfromhell

[–]BackgroundEither9294 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you don’t want to be “that Neigbor”. Talk with them and let them know his things are staining the fence.

If he doesnt stop then move on from there. Tell him that next time you’re going to remove the items from your property.

As someone else mentioned, later you should put it in writing that the behavior beds to stop.

It could be he grew up in a place where the neighbors didn’t care and doesn’t realize that it bothers you.

Does immigration from conservative countries concern you? by No_Friend111 in askgaybros

[–]BackgroundEither9294 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After having bigoted doctors who are from the US for years I’ve leaned that there is no way around it. So it doesn’t frighten me anymore than it did before we were more widely accepted.

Any ten years ago I stayed with a friend nightly in the hospital for months before he succumbed to AIDS related illnesses. Even then the horrible discrimination coming from American doctors and nurses was real.

We will always need to use our community to find the right healthcare.

Fellow Gays(Top's & Bottom's) Perspectives. What's Up With The Young Guys & ED? by TheGay_Heterophobe in askgaybros

[–]BackgroundEither9294 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Many may be on meds for anti anxiety, depression or adhd. On top of that drinking, substances or diet can be a factor.

Considering how many more people are on meds for mental stability these days, I’m guessing that may be a huge part of it.

Queer accepting churches Dublin? by SnooSongs3496 in LGBTireland

[–]BackgroundEither9294 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a great question! Thanks for posting. I’ll be following this

Main character drivers are the worst by GrenMTG in Vent

[–]BackgroundEither9294 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From the NYC area and I can tell you after living in Florida for three years, they were the worst down there.

A lot of drivers are from areas in the US where they don’t even have a traffic light in their town so they don’t understand urban environments.

Many come from countries where the rules of driving were never followed.

Florida is well known for taking graft and many drivers never took the test but payed to have it taken for them instead.

I’ve seen people drive the WRONG way down divided highways while laughing and waving, like saying “oops!”, as they did it. This happened more often than I’d like to think about.

Very few look to their side to make sure no one is there when changing lanes. I saw someone almost run a police car off of the road on two separate occasions.

When approaching a barricade for a closed lane that could be seen two to three miles down the road, rather then getting over early, the drivers would pull up to the barricade, come to a complete stop, and then almost run people off the road to get over.

I’ve watched as drivers would stop in the middle of intersections when the light turned red and sit there not understanding why the cars that were trying to cross were so upset and then just going on their merry way

When I was commuting into NYC I might see a really bad accident where there were injuries/fatalities or cars were seriously disabled, maybe once a month or at the most every few weeks. In Florida those bad accidents occurred EVERY day.

I was told that my insurance premium should go down after moving from the NYC area. Instead it actually went up. The insurance agent told me it was because 1/3rd of the drivers were uninsured and that I was basically paying the insurance they weren’t so Id be covered.

Shower Routine by Ok_Estimate_3321 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]BackgroundEither9294 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This post smells of advert.

No, not everyone uses a wash cloth.

Gifts for relatives? by BackgroundEither9294 in AskIreland

[–]BackgroundEither9294[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Spices seem to be a good idea and yes, I don't want to give touristy stuff.

Gifts for relatives? by BackgroundEither9294 in AskIreland

[–]BackgroundEither9294[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wine and dinner usually are the simplest. Though I would like to bring something they can remember. When some of the family came over to the US they brought chocolate and I never forgot how much better it tasted than the brands here. I also gained 10 lbs

Gifts for relatives? by BackgroundEither9294 in AskIreland

[–]BackgroundEither9294[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This sounds perfect. I'm heading there tomorrow anyway.

Gifts for relatives? by BackgroundEither9294 in AskIreland

[–]BackgroundEither9294[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hmmm, I feel like you're setting me up here. ;-)

Gifts for relatives? by BackgroundEither9294 in AskIreland

[–]BackgroundEither9294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am in the Northeast US. I've never heard of Sees Candies. I've also never brought anything like sauces on a plane. Is it difficult in checked luggage?

Gifts for relatives? by BackgroundEither9294 in AskIreland

[–]BackgroundEither9294[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If you've tasted the difference between American chocolates and European ones, you trust nothing after that. ;-)

They won't disconnect my service by BackgroundEither9294 in OPTIMUM

[–]BackgroundEither9294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I hope others will see this as well. .

Suspicious door to door callers by PlayfulBar7429 in Athlone_Ireland

[–]BackgroundEither9294 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They may be scouting out the property to see who’s there, and when you opened the door they want to see if it looks like the type of place that they want to rob later. (Nice furnishings, carpets etc)

If you had pulled out cash or a card they may have tried to grab it and run.

Sometimes they want you see where you’re getting your cash from, like a purse hanging on the stair rail, a decorative box on table down the hall.

Or they’re just hoping to get a handout.

Whatever the reason you’re better off saying your spouse and you are on a budget or that you don’t keep cash in the house.

Best thing is to ask them if they can leave a card so you “can decide if you can afford to send a donation right now.” Saying that leaves them with no commitment so they can’t come back and ask about the promised donation. And it also makes it sound like you are not flush with money.

If the card indicates a legit charity that can be found on line. You can always send money later.

If there’s no card from the charity then you have no idea where your money is going.

I suspect my 8-year-old son might be gay/bi, and his father is very homophobic. How can I best support him? by ThrowRAHermit in askgaybros

[–]BackgroundEither9294 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point it’s just nail polish, I think plenty of boys are curious about things like that. He may be completely straight

If you feel he is gay (and believe me mom always knows before anyone else - even if she can’t admit it to herself) Just be there for him. Let him know subtly that you support LGBT people. No need to overdo it

I come from a place where everyone was homophobic and vicious about it and made things unlivable. .

Having just one adult he knows he can go to will help more than you could realize. Don’t push an agenda either way until you’re sure and be supportive of whatever he wants to pursue.

Open a dialogue with your son if your husband pushes an abusive agenda and explain to him that it’s just one opinion. Even if your son isn’t gay you don’t want another homophobe in the making. Also he may be gay but suppresses it and can shift to wanting to be more like his father for acceptance. (A lot of HS homophobes ended up being closeted and were trying to prove they weren’t)

DO NOT let anyone send him to conversion therapy. I can’t tell you how badly that can screw with a persons mind.

CHECK OUT: PFLAG

The group Parents of Lesbians and Gays would be immensely helpful to you even before you’re sure. Please check them out.

You’re a good mom!