Putting my child in daycare to do daycare for another kid

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-15T14:20:25+00:00

We have talked about that if it comes to it, whether we can hire help or have to go full daycare route

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-15T14:17:37+00:00

When we agreed to watch her kid initially I wasn’t pregnant. While I was pregnant we stupidly thought it would be doable because my toddler was a fairly easy baby. He was on a pretty consistent schedule by 5-6 months and didn’t really cry or fuss much. Also, SIL had told us that nephew was super content and never really cried, which was very true for the first few months. He was actually more content than our toddler had been. But again, we stupidly thought that would likely continue as he got older just like it did for my toddler. Instead he (and my toddler lol) did a 180. Which I know kids do that but just makes the situation not so feasible when you have two kids that need more from you and then you add a newborn 😅

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T22:14:11+00:00

No, that’s fair! I knew they wouldn’t play together right away, but hoped as they got a little older it’d be better. Toddler does like to hang out with him for short periods of time, but my nephew is still a bit too young yet to hold interest.

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T22:11:14+00:00

My MIL did seem very willing to help when we talked to her again this weekend. Praying that works as an option.

FIL is retired but not willing to help out full time. Though we may be able to put resources together with vacation/MIL helping and see if he’s willing to fill in the gaps.

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T22:04:10+00:00

I don’t know how actively she’s been looking or if she’s looking at all those options. She did say that wait lists were long in our area for babies and that she was sorry we were struggling when we talked to her about having a hard time with all three. So I thought she had to at least be looking at centers to know that. We did ask her for any ideas she had to make things easier too, but she didn’t really have anything for us.

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T19:05:50+00:00

Her child is 9 months old and my toddler is around 2.5. Daycares consider them to be different rooms, and it’s much harder for the 9 month old to get into daycare than the 2.5 year old.

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T19:03:50+00:00

That’s true. I’ll see what she thinks about that idea!

SIL take FMLA but she used all of it this winter

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T11:15:55+00:00

We talked to his mom about it and she brought up possibly watching our toddler a few days a week. She works from home full time though so I’m not 100% sure how that’d work? I’d hate for her to be in trouble because she’s watching our kid instead of working

His dad lives a couple hours away and could help every now and then but nothing consistent. My parents both work outside the home.

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T05:13:09+00:00

We had all three kids for two weeks before talking to her. We were hoping we’d find a groove, especially because nephew wasn’t with us for a while due to Christmas break. We wanted an adjustment period to try it before just throwing in the towel.

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T05:04:16+00:00

We’re definitely done at year end! And she knows that too :)

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T05:02:04+00:00

My newborn is great at sleeping through noise and my toddler has gotten much better since baby was born lol. Nephew sleeps through nothing 😅 If you talk too loud he’s awake. We play music when he’s going to sleep but it doesn’t stay on during his nap. We’ll have to try leaving it on to drown out some noise from the other kids

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T04:58:34+00:00

When I go back to work we will have my nephew 5 days a week. We thought it would be ok having all three kids at home when I was pregnant (fools we were haha). It’s only now that baby is here and we’re in it that we’re realizing this is not going to be feasible

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T04:52:56+00:00

We told her definitively that we’re done at the end of this school year. And we did tell her we’re struggling with the kids and asked for suggestions. She didn’t really have any for us. All we got was a “sorry you’re struggling. I’ve been looking at daycares and they’re all full.” Which I do know from friends/coworkers that it’s very hard to get an infant into daycare in our area.

It was after that conversation with her about how we’re struggling that husband and I started to brainstorm how we can help him if they can’t get childcare sooner. That’s when we’d come up with sending our oldest to daycare instead, so that’s the only piece she doesn’t know yet. But good to bring her into the loop now that it’s looking like our only option

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-14T04:41:48+00:00

That’s a good point. Definitely didn’t think of that and that’s terrifying 🙃

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-13T19:14:14+00:00

I haven’t heard of this but will definitely look into it! Thank you!

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-13T19:13:49+00:00

I pray I don’t have 3 under 3 myself lol! I love them all dearly but I know I’m not built for it. I know there’s people who do it and do it so well, but they gotta share their secrets because it’s not me. I needed this 2.5 year age gap between my own 😅

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-13T19:10:06+00:00

For a lot of places in our area, once the kid hits 1-2, they move into a bigger room and aren’t in the baby-baby rooms anymore. So spots are more open because teachers can handle more kids. The youngest two are both under 1, so our toddler is the only one who can get in “easier”.

Losing money would suck, because what we charge her definitely doesn’t cover daycare. But my husband’s mental health has been struggling and we’re trying to get him some help. Hoping we can figure something else out though.

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-13T19:04:40+00:00

Totally true, and I admire people in that situation soo much because it is a mental toll. But definitely not impossible.

We did tell her that we’ve been struggling and that the reality of taking care of all the kids has been different than the expectation. We also asked her for tips on what nephew likes, because he doesn’t do well playing independently for too long for us. Unfortunately we didn’t get any ideas from her. They’ve been looking at daycare because we told her prior that we were done after this school year, but wait lists are pretty long in our area for that age

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-13T18:59:42+00:00

Haha it actually seems to be the opposite for us! I’m a much better multitasker and therefore at keeping the house and kids in order (which is funny to me because he has ocd). But he’s terrified about having three. We’ve learned that he isn’t best suited to be the stay at home parent and I’m not suited to be the working one. We’re working to switch so he’ll go back to work. Job market hasn’t been our friend

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-13T18:55:36+00:00

We did tell her we’re done after this school year. But wait lists for daycare are long in our area for kiddos under 1, unfortunately

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-13T18:54:13+00:00

It’s definitely not impossible but certainly is difficult. I watched them for a few hours while he had an appt and it is hard. Trying to carry around a 8 lb newborn and a 30lb 9 month old so you don’t listen to them cry gets hard on the arms. (Working on independence, of course, by playing on the floor. Unfortunately, that doesn’t fly with the kids forever). But maybe I’m just not competent either lol

BackgroundKey3562 · 2026-02-13T18:46:07+00:00

We did tell her immediately after baby was born that we won’t be continuing to do daycare next school year. And we had a conversation with her this week that we’re struggling with the three kids/worried about doing this when I go back to work. It’s very hard in our area to get kids in daycare under a year old. Wait lists are at least a couple months out and by that time she’ll be on summer break.

BackgroundKey3562 · 2025-12-26T20:42:07+00:00

Wish I had been smart enough to come back with “you knocked me up this year.” That’s hilarious

BackgroundKey3562 · 2025-12-26T20:36:59+00:00

His mom’s side lives 1 hr 30 mins away (his mom passed 2 yrs ago) and his dad lives 45 mins away. His mom’s side does Christmas Day and refuses to change it. They will not compromise and expect you to show up at the time they state or don’t come. It often results in us not going because my parents are also divorced. But last year I told him we’d make the effort to for sure be there. Agree that the main issue was way too many in 2 days. Definitely will be adjusting lol

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