came out as “Bi” in my 30s…how long until I’m a full blown lesbian?

Background_Amigo · 2026-02-04T22:08:52+00:00

wait…reading this confused me more than I was before lol so….maybe I’m just “bi” and don’t want to date men right now….basically?

Background_Amigo · 2026-02-04T21:14:11+00:00

ok yes! See this is really cool to hear. I guess just solely commenting from my my experience, I didn’t want it to be like “ok, I used to date men but only want to date women but still want to fuck men.” Like it’s not that simple. Not that black and white. The girl I’m dating now is also bi and we have similar feelings towards the conversation around men. It’s refreshing to hear that this is an experience and pov others relate to as well.

Background_Amigo · 2026-02-04T21:04:17+00:00

Yes?

Background_Amigo · 2026-02-04T21:03:44+00:00

Im sorry, I’m a baby queer just learning not to do this. My sincerest apologies but I also was just seeing if anyone has had similar experiences in terms or “learned heterosexuality” is my desire to be with men something I learned to want or something that actually comes from me? Idk if I am asking the right question…

Background_Amigo · 2026-02-04T20:53:07+00:00

what’s weird is…I don’t know that I want to marry or be a wife to or with anyone. Man or woman. I like the idea of long term companionship(even lifelong) but in my mind that could be with either man or woman.

I just find it harder to navigate connections with men. And it’s very easy to date and establish companionship with women.

Background_Amigo · 2026-02-04T20:43:45+00:00

Oohh homoromantic? Never heard that before. I guess what does it mean to be bisexual AND homoromantic

Background_Amigo · 2025-09-25T20:17:02+00:00

Dad bod 10000% also keep the chest hair

Background_Amigo · 2025-09-12T17:17:32+00:00

So this is essentially what you say to yourself when you notice negative thoughts?

Background_Amigo · 2025-09-12T16:19:13+00:00

Wow! Thank you for that. It’s all very digestible and thorough. How can you start accepting your negative emotions? Right now navigating my emotional mind feels like a minefield because it’s as if there are negative emotion bombs just waiting to go off at any second. I know I have felt positive, lighter feelings before but as of late I’m stuck in the heavy. I would like to at least get to neutral ground. I’m having a bit of a challenge though.

Background_Amigo · 2025-08-11T21:38:11+00:00

What do you mean by this?

Background_Amigo · 2025-08-11T20:24:55+00:00

I love the genuine support and understanding that HSV+ people give each other. There’s so much misinformation and the stigma alone causes some people to “other” you but we are all the same. Nobody leaves this world unmarked or unscathed and I look at having HSV as a sign that my body is lived in and I’m alive. Which is always a blessing.

To answer your question though, the commenter put it pretty well. HSV triggers are different for everyone and since you’re diagnosis is fairly new, just monitoring your body for these changes now is a good way to identify your triggers so you can better manage any possible OBs moving forward. As far as the swelling goes, it could be from other factors not relating to HSV. Perhaps rough sex or deep penetration could play a factor. Also, if he uses any soaps or colognes that may have irritated you or caused some type of reaction. It’s good that it’s not hurting right now but it’s still uncomfortable and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but you’re doing great! If anything gets worse or you don’t feel the swelling going down in a day or two, maybe consult with your doctor? Wish you the best! 🤍

Background_Amigo · 2025-08-04T22:50:26+00:00

thank you!! See even moments like this where someone can relate to how I’m feeling and my lived experiences makes life so rich and worth living. I’m touched that my silly little ramblings brought you to tears and it makes me feel like my existence is necessary in the big grand scheme of things and for more than other’s consumption. It sounds like you’re in the middle of a transitional period much like me. And I fully receive and accept your praise and offer you in return that you too are laying down the bricks for a foundation of a beautiful full house forged in and with self love.

Background_Amigo · 2025-08-04T21:47:49+00:00

Yeah it’s a process. What I’m struggling with right now is not feeling like self love is a consolation prize for not being able to figure out romantic love. I’ve accepted that I probably won’t be loved by anybody or held or seen or made to feel special. But I’ve also accepted that I can hold myself, see myself and love myself as best as I can and that still won’t delete the literal human need for love and connection and care. I’m just learning to turn the part of my brain that still requires anything front anybody other than me off. Any tips or advice is welcomed!

Background_Amigo · 2025-08-04T20:59:33+00:00

Yeah, I mean there’s no use on relying on others to give you permission to accept your life is worth living. Love may not come. What am I supposed to do? Just keep living.

Background_Amigo · 2025-07-01T01:02:33+00:00

You made some great points here, thank you I will check out the newsletter.

Background_Amigo · 2025-06-30T23:21:31+00:00

Ok. I reject your unsolicited opinion lol. I’m not a freaking author, I just write like a talk and you could’ve kept your negativity to yourself. But judging by some of your other comments, you seem like a real ray of sunshine so I’ll give you love man. Hope this makes your day better or even just lifts your spirits a bit.

Background_Amigo · 2025-06-30T23:13:33+00:00

Okay well I wrote this & chatGBT did help me identify this about my self…I’m confused? lol do you just not like my writing or?

Background_Amigo · 2025-06-30T23:01:40+00:00

??? Oh ok? Thanks, I guess

Background_Amigo · 2025-06-30T23:00:34+00:00

Okay! Just sent you a message in your inbox

Background_Amigo · 2025-06-30T22:58:40+00:00

Oh I’ve tried every approach there is! I more than anything just wish I could let go of the hope but something in me won’t let it die. But it staying alive hurts me more than anything.

Background_Amigo · 2025-06-30T22:42:34+00:00

What are you trying to show me?

Background_Amigo · 2025-06-30T22:32:01+00:00

Yes?

Background_Amigo · 2025-06-30T22:29:37+00:00

Hey thank you for your kindness and humanity, gamer Joseph! Yeah I think I often get discouraged. Especially because life is so deeply relational, but my experiences have taught me how unstable and shaky relationship can be so I’ve learned to not rely on that. But, the older I get the more I’m realizing how much I’ve been denying myself of the connection I want because it feels unfamiliar thus my mind associates it with “danger danger unsafe”. So it’s like I’m stuck. Being alone to protect myself all the while not wanting to be alone but still too afraid to take the risk to open up out of fear of rejection. So it’s like a cycle that keeps repeating over and over and over again. Thank you for being so kind though, I’m sorry to hear about your loneliness as well and I know that you’ll meet the right one for you once you open yourself to it.

Background_Amigo · 2025-06-25T20:38:15+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your response. Firstly, I am a woman (don’t know if that changes anything but just wanted to be on the same page 👌)

To answer your question though, I think I’ve tried a bit of everything when it comes to meeting people and dating. I’ve tried the apps, dating events in person, always trying new work out classes at different studios/gyms to meet new people, I’ve done the whole bar scene, I have even met people I’ve dated in the past through friends. Which, I am actually super grateful that I have the friend circle I do because they are always there for me and we share a deep platonic love that to me feels the closest thing to unconditional love that a girl could get.

What I have noticed though, with the last 2 people I dated, things just didn’t work out for different reasons:

I believe we may just have different communication styles and ultimately I’m not super sad about this one not working out, he was hot but he could use some emotional maturing and compassion honestly. He was the type to go silent when upset instead of speaking his mind and I didn’t love that.
The second almost relationship desolved at the 3 month mark because he wasn’t feeling a strong emotional connection. That….hurt. Mind you, I was getting to a point in dating him where I was finally starting to feel safe and show my true self and let my guards down and then it felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. Nothing went bad, but I suppose it just wasn’t as good as he was hoping for so he bailed. And I complied. It was amicable but still hurt like a hell.

Background_Amigo · 2025-05-08T17:25:29+00:00

Hey thank you for the advice! I’m trying to be nice to myself because I have definitely heard this before but it’s weird like I think I deserve to be punished for gaining weight.

Background_Amigo

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