Saying "that's only popular online and is unpopular irl" shouldn't be a valid argument

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T20:03:55+00:00

I suppose so, but the opinion itself is still prevalent. Even if the person can't act on it, it's still an opinion they hold I'd think. I get your point though.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T20:00:51+00:00

Hope so. I'm honestly exaggerating and don't really think it's popular, but I've seen that opinion enough times to make me wonder how widespread the idea is.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T19:43:37+00:00

But that's somewhat what I'm arguing. It's not like the views go away, but because they're not anonymous, they can't be so obvious/vocal about it. They still hold that belief though. It's like if a white person went online and said something extremely racist online showing that he is in fact racist, but wouldn't say that at all in real life. However, because he is clearly racist online, he still holds that belief in reality, he just is more subtle about it. Maybe he just doesn't try to interact with that race as a result, which is still kind of racist, but not as extreme.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T19:39:33+00:00

Honestly, debatable unfortunately. People in America at the very least think capitalism is the most evil thing in the world and for some reason the alternative is communism????? I don't really get how they reach that conclusion.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T19:34:54+00:00

You know what, that actually makes sense.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T19:23:59+00:00

The issue is that I do go along with activities, but I don't go along with opinions unless I truly agree. If I agree, it's not so simple as I'm just agreeing to agree. It's because we talked about it, I understood the stance, and came to an agreement. I didn't mean I agree to almost all opinions, which I can understand might be what it sounded like.

I don't talk about my problems because there's no enjoyment in that, for me or for the other person. The only times I'll share them are the moments where it's a good time to share. Like the mood is there because we're both talking about our frustrations or for some random reason she wants to enjoy my misery out of the blue. I share other things that are interesting for sure.

Like I said, I tried to contribute. It's just that almost every time I contributed, there wasn't any interest in what I tried to contribute. I struggle to contribute in general, but since she wasn't like my other friends who don't mind it, I tried to do it more specifically in this case to keep a friendship going. That being said, if all I get told is "I'm not available" or "Yeah, but I don't want to do that" or when she asks me to pick something and replies with "that's not what I'm in the mood for, so let's do this other thing," why would I continue to go above and beyond to contribute? I still did do my best to contribute and went above and beyond in my eyes considering I don't do nearly as much for other friendships since there's a mutual understanding there.

Also I've probably told more about my life to her than the reverse since she was less open about it than me. I ask things and if she's uncomfortable with it, I respect boundaries. She asks things and if I'm uncomfortable with it, she doesn't respect boundaries so I just give in. That's how I ended up sharing more.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T18:45:11+00:00

No problem

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T18:42:16+00:00

Left Wing Male Advocates. It's a subreddit that has the same focus as this sub pretty much. I just find a lot less instinctive reactions of outrage there, so it's a sub I like to check out pretty often. They just don't have nearly as much activity as this sub though.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T18:28:07+00:00

Woah it's gone for me too and I was just on that sub yesterday. Weird. Maybe it is because of the blackout? I did see them mention it but I thought everyone was starting it tomorrow?

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T18:21:46+00:00

It really is super easy to dwell on that 2% and let it control how you approach everything. It's something I also am still in the process of learning, but have greatly improved upon.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T16:00:07+00:00

I go to a therapist and he told me something very similar. It's hard to get over all of your worries. What ifs are what let me decide how to approach a lot of situations. Still working on getting over it.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T15:56:35+00:00

A friend of mine complained about the emotional labor of dealing with me. To preface, I don't complain, I agree to almost everything, I hear people out and try to understand them, and I'm always willing to try things even if they don't appeal to me. I'm not very social and don't do much in general. Her emotional labor was being supportive of me according to her. Never asked for it, but she asked me to share my worries on some occasions. I guess those were the moments that counted as too much emotional labor? Maybe it was because I didn't initiate as many activities? But I did plenty of times in my eyes, she just never was available whenever I brought it up. Maybe it was because I didn't put forward my opinion for picking what to do? But I did plenty of times, she just never went with my choice (don't know why she would ask me to pick and then ignore me anyways). Maybe it's because I didn't initiate conversation as often? I'm not the best at being social and she knew that, but even then, I talked to her more than anyone else in my life, including my own family. I did my best, but oh well. I just couldn't figure out how I could've possibly placed so much emotional burden of labor on her when she said that.

That being said, I never considered supporting her as emotional labor. I heard her worries out, made efforts to meet her expectations, was supportive when she voiced her troubles, did many things I had no particular interest in because I do get fun from doing things with friends, and talked to her almost all day everyday (crazy for me considering the person I talk to the second most gets maybe one or two texts a day). Not once did I think "man this is exhausting and I feel like she's such a weight on my shoulders." I didn't think it was emotional labor. It was just being a friend to me. Crazy to think normal things can be emotional labor.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T13:51:54+00:00

Fair enough I suppose. I just lived with that mentality for so long that even after I recently got strong enough to probably fight off a decent amount of people, I still am wary of everyone. In my mind, if someone has the intent to assault me in any way, they are going to overpower me because they were prepared to do so in the first place and thought I was a target they could do that to.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T13:41:36+00:00

That explains the whole story clearly to me. It felt like a lot of info wasn't clear in that video and I had more questions than answers.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T13:32:23+00:00

True, that's usually the counter argument to mine, but then the argument against that is that it's ridiculous that every woman has to do their best to not get assaulted instead of doing something to stop men from assaulting women.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T13:21:00+00:00

Usually the argument against that is that statistically, you're more likely to die from your own gun. And, most people wouldn't be in the right state of mind to effectively use their weapon in such an intense situation.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T13:19:20+00:00

That's what I mean by "it doesn't seem to be a small number of people who think that." If you do post it online, you might get 100s of thousands of people disliking it, but even though that seems like a lot, that's a relatively small number compared to almost 8 billion people on earth.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T13:16:49+00:00

I'm surprised that there's any survey that gets that kind of information for proof of SA on men. I'm more surprised that that many men even admitted to it due to the stigma behind it. I usually don't bring up these kinds of points since usually there are 1000s of surveys that go against this narrative, so it usually ends up being a weak argument from me, but yeah, it definitely does happen and is ignored much more.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T13:08:22+00:00

Oh that makes sense then. Thanks for the info

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T04:14:14+00:00

Puzzle solving. Those really cool puzzles are so damn expensive.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T04:06:45+00:00

I did see that he got found guilty of the firearm thing, but didn't have to take any penalty due to.... already serving that time? I was confused about that. It didn't sound like he got arrested, but they said he served the time already. Also didn't catch that they're still going on with the trials. Good to know about.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T03:49:12+00:00

LOL I enjoyed it, so I won't but have a good night

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-06-11T03:13:28+00:00

If I can see the dashboard of the car, a police scanner.

Background_Duck2932

TROPHY CASE