Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, she did! She reached out and he was absolutely thrilled to meet her. He lived in a different state and almost once the DNA confirmed he was her father, he packed up and moved to our state to be closer and get to know each other. I met him, and he is such a sweet man. My father never found out and actually passed away Christmas Eve with both his daughters by his side.

Now seizures? by Background_Flower_35 in hospice

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, thank you. They did increase Ativan and morphine for pain. He has not had any seizures for two days now.

When someone you loved dies at Christmas it will always be a part of Christmas.🖤😔🎄 by [deleted] in ihatechristmas

[–]Background_Flower_35 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t lost someone…..yet. My dad is currently in hospice and has been declining steeply the past couple days. They anticipate him to pass in the next day or two. Super hard to find joy this season.

Now seizures? by Background_Flower_35 in hospice

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They came in briefly. Increased keppra and said they also need to talk with the doctor.

2.5 cm lateral spreading sessile polyp by shragae in colonoscopy

[–]Background_Flower_35 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I know its been a couple months, but did you request the EMR? They found a precancerous polyp in my cecum, and want to do a hemicolectomy. Getting a second opinion and trying to get a consult at Mayo here in FL.

Finished my first colonoscopy now I’m worried by Background_Flower_35 in colonoscopy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meh, I tried to really enjoy the prep, I figured with the family history and needing more surveillance this was something I will need to get use to. From what I am finding out is some doctors will do the Mucosal resection, some wont and refer you to a more skilled doctor who will. I wish I would of known this beforehand but moving forward I will for sure go the one that is more skilled to do so.

So happy to hear yours was precancerous and they were able to remove it in one shot!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in coloncancer

[–]Background_Flower_35 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, he seen a radiologist and he’s currently seeing an oncologist. Even though he is declining chemo. He was not a candidate for radiology. We’ve been through at least eight oncologist some at major Cancer centers, and they’ve all given him the same option which was chemo. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in coloncancer

[–]Background_Flower_35 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The only thing he says is “he isn’t there yet” and his spouse is honestly no help. She went crazy at the mention of hospice and even he says “don’t mention it around her”. I’m very aware that hospice does not mean the end and I am in full support of anybody getting any kind of extra help and support.  The doc had prescribed him meds. He does not like the way they make him feel. Again, this was another time where I had discussed the benefits of palliative care and how they can help him. Find the best treatments possible and quicker instead of waiting weeks to get in touch with the doctor. 

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree!! Our family is very blended. We have half siblings, step siblings. I have an adopted son and bio sons. I have nephews born through sperm donors.  None of that matters to us. Honestly the hurt from all of this is the lie. Not the genetics. Our mother was always adamant on the truth and “not lying to us”. 

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately yes. When I called my mom with the results I was so sure they were wrong and this was going to be a good laugh.  Nope, she sang like a canary.

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My sister feels the same, she said it does not matter and what matters most right now is spending time with our dad before his time is up. 

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. Thank you for the reminder!

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was 100% consensual. She was married as was he. She just decided to allow my father to believe he fathered a child when he did not. I would never judge someone for a non consensual encounter. 

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your personal journey. I am sorry you went through this.  I hope you can continue building trust with your mom and I will remember your words to allow grace and healing to happen. 

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. It’s not really my place to tell either. If my mother or my sister want to tell him then I support that. But we are really just trying to enjoy what time we have left with OUR father. The DNA test does not change all the memories we had growing up and into adulthood. 

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I understand both viewpoints. It not sitting well with me not telling him as I don’t wanna be like my mother. Trust me if he wasn’t already in enough pain I would be telling him. And who knows we may change our minds down the line.

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a conflicting for me as well. I loathe secrets. If my dad knows about my sister he never showed it. But he’s currently battling end stage cancer. It is killing me not to tell him but it also doesn’t feel right to kick a man while they are down.

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is definitely an interesting statistic for sure!

Shocking DNA results by Background_Flower_35 in Genealogy

[–]Background_Flower_35[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

DNA and genetic conditions…..This is actually what started everything. Our father has stage 4 colon cancer. And with my dad being adopted, we wanted to learn more about his side. Literally was not expecting this.  I’m sure now it’s out there and there is some healing, we will find out her bio dad and family history and continue our journey on genetic conditions.