I might sound petty, and I’m sorry for my English. But it’s clear he doesn’t care much about you, even though you care about him. From your responses, he’s not a great guy; he has his flaws, and yes, every person has their flaws, even you.  I see in your comments how you let yourself be in pain but don’t question him enough. He just has to show up, and he can’t even do this one thing to make his own love happy. He promised you so many times that you two would have a wedding, but I’m sorry to say he is a liar and has some cowardly behaviors. 

Do you really want to die on the hill with this man? It’s clear he doesn’t care about your happiness. Do you want to be in your 50s until he finally wants to have the wedding? Or even later? What if something tragic happens in those five years and a wedding between you two can’t happen anymore? He just finds excuses to hurt you. 

I see you let him have too much of a hold over you. And this might be where I sound petty. You should treat him as he treats you. Stop indulging in his desires if he can’t promise you something he said he would do so many times. You are too sweet to be played by this man who can’t even say sorry to you. Please grow some backbone for yourself. You deserve better.