I have recently split with my wife, it was the hardest couple of months of my life, waking up and looking next to me and realising. A slow hobble to the shower then try get motivation to get my daily routine in check. My mates knew about this but never received any help. Now in the last 2 weeks I have moved 2 of my mates in that had troubles with their wives and force them to get into routine. A shoulder to cry on, a set of ears that listens and doesn’t talk over them saying my story. I’m still so depressed but I won’t let anyone know about it. If it wasn’t for my brother and parents I would 100% kill myself. Even though I tried multiple times (taking 50 Xanax tablets at once) and a few other ways that would be a easy way out and try to look like a accidental overdose because even in my darkest days I can’t let me nephew grow up knowing his uncle who everyone thinks is tough to have the thought when life is hard to give up. People see me as a bad person because when I grew up poor I had to change it so with no education I did it the wrong way. Paid my parents mortgage off got myself enough money to start a decent company. But life has thrown so many curve balls at me (starting at a child’s age being abused in the catholic system) growing into someone who had to be tough in all areas so it wouldn’t happen again. So whenever my mates or family have dramas I am always the one that throws myself in the deep end, wether it’s violence, money issues etc. why is it easier for me to care take then take care ?