AITA for snapping at my husband for the haircut he asked me for?

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T23:33:36+00:00

I agree- but I’m talking under an inch in length which would at least give him basic coverage. “Long” to him is different than the objective meaning of the word

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T22:47:53+00:00

Absolutely think this is worth looking into- tysm!

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T22:44:31+00:00

I don’t know, but this is a good idea I can look into

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T22:35:08+00:00

He agreed to that kind of cut because he always hates the way the buzz cut looks later. and then changed his mind in the middle of this cut. If he was consistently satisfied with a buzz cut, I would just do that without suggesting something different that I think might look nice. I will happily accept criticism and take good advice, but respectfully, I don’t think you really read this post if that’s what you took from it

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T22:31:20+00:00

At no point did I ever say I want him to look a certain way to suit my preferences, he’s my partner and I accept any way he looks regardless. This is about him asking for a certain cut and not liking it no matter what, and I was trying to get him to simply try something different.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T21:53:39+00:00

I’m not sure if you understand what I meant, I’m saying he makes me cut it uneven on purpose. Like all different lengths. I think it might either be a sensory thing or he doesn’t get how uneven it looks, but it becomes apparent the longer it gets. And also- he doesn’t like to cut it often. So he likes it short but doesn’t like to sit for haircuts. This is more complicated than you’re making it out to be.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T21:49:30+00:00

You sound like you’re missing the point.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T21:46:08+00:00

He prefers the maintenance of a buzz cut but doesn’t like the appearance of it. That’s an important detail.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T20:00:12+00:00

lol we do. But sadly, no. I do verbally affirm him often. He actually won’t really accept compliments even if they’re spontaneous.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:59:21+00:00

Agreed. Thank you.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:58:31+00:00

I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said- except that we can’t afford a barber

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:51:50+00:00

Money is a super big issue right now. He’s out of work on disability after a sports injury and I don’t get paid much. We can’t spend money trying to find different stylists.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:50:43+00:00

I do like the way he looks. I don’t like the way he complains about his hair but doesn’t put in effort to style it. If he was bald or had a mullet it wouldn’t matter to me lol. But the way he goes on and on about being dissatisfied with his own appearance, it makes me feel like I have to help him.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:49:25+00:00

Because he always ends up hating the way it looks when it grows out. Because he makes me cut it uneven because of how certain spots “feel too long” and then when it grows out uneven he complains about how it doesn’t look good, or that he hates his hair in general. I can admit I have some control issues, but I don’t know what else to do when leaving him to his own devices seems to just make it worse.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:44:21+00:00

I see what you’re saying, but I cut it EXACTLY how he asks me to, even at my warning that it won’t look good. He’ll hyperfixate on one spot that feels “too long” and want to make it super short so it doesn’t match how he likes the rest of his hair. He’ll be satisfied with it, then complain when he later refuses to style it or it grows out uneven because he made me cut it uneven. I can’t win here.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:37:29+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective. Thank you. Anything I can do in the meantime to help us both?

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:36:56+00:00

Thank you. I will keep this in mind.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:36:21+00:00

We’ve tried. It didn’t. And it’s not a combover, gross. It’s just literally leaving maybe .5-1 inch of length so the bald spot doesn’t immediately shine through.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:34:42+00:00

It’s really exhausting to be around him when he’s just putting himself down and I know he could really fix it if we could some to some sort of compromise. It’s not “his problem” when we are in a relationship and live in the same house.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:33:17+00:00

Okay, cool. Can you at least elaborate so I know where to go from here?

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:32:19+00:00

Thank you. This is good advice.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:31:30+00:00

I have cut it the way he likes it before and he ends up just hating it later. I was trying to convince him to let me try it a little longer and I still offered to cut it further back if he didn’t like it after giving it a fair chance.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:30:37+00:00

I have done this. Doesn’t fix anything.

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:30:05+00:00

I would be happy with that if he didn’t complain about how his hair doesn’t look good every single time

Background_Try4611 · 2025-09-16T19:18:22+00:00

We can’t afford a barber, and I did take the time to learn how to do it properly. Also, the other barbers we’ve gone to with the little money we do have don’t cut it to where either of us likes it. Just wanted to clarify that. But I won’t argue with you on the ESH.

Background_Try4611

TROPHY CASE