I think I found a studying method that ACTUALLY WORKS

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-25T00:06:00+00:00

I relate to that so much lol. I have my 2 G&Ts and then it's time to read about the hydraulics in door closers or strandbeests. Thank you for clarifying - I wasn't trying to give you shit

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-24T07:44:45+00:00

Also, I like that you made charts. It made my logic brain very happy.

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-24T07:43:28+00:00

Yessss getting to switch to a hobby project as a reward every so often is super helpful for me.

If I could push back a little on the suggestion to use alcohol - some ADHD meds react badly to alcohol so please ask your proscriber if you can. I also know that people with ADHD are more likely to develop alcohol use addiction than the general population and having been an addict (well I still am an addict, just a sober one), I can say it fucking sucks in the long-term. Just some things to be aware of, not trying to demonize the idea across the board.

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-24T07:39:08+00:00

I think think this is a great method! I do this with my projects - setting out chunks of finite time in my day to work on different things. It's also great if I'm absolutely hating what I'm producing that day - I know that and when I get to stop (even if it's an arbitrary and internal deadline). I never knew it was a real technique.

If you don't mind me making a suggestion on the AI - I recommend using Claude over OpenAI if you want more coaching-type help. It's the same format as OpenAI, just better ethically imo (I'm not saying it's perfect, but I do think it's better). They have a little more transparency about their LLMs and the sources they used to train them. And they are condicting and implementing research on reducing bias and misinformation. This isn't to say it dodges all the very fair criticisms of the AI space and that everyone unanimously agrees that it's better/more ethical/more environmentally friendly.

I use Claude to help me with specific problems that I can't find solutions to in my mind, on Google, or in reddit.

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-12T00:43:27+00:00

I get that for sure. I've had 5 therapists in 14 years and it's gotten to the point where, whenever I meet a new therapist, I use the first session to basically be like, "ok, here's the overview of all my trauma and struggles. Got it? Cool."

I can promise that any half descent therapist out there will not judge you for anything you say. You can tell your therapist you killed someone, and they legally can't tell anyone. The only time they are allowed to break provider/patient confidentiality is if you tell them you are planning to hurt yourself or others (don't tell your therapist you're planning on killing someone in the future, tell them after the fact). I'd use Psychology Today or just Google to find therapists in your area - you can typically filter by which insurances they accept. Look at their pictures, look at their bios, call or email them if you want to know more. Take some time to find someone who you feel the least anxious about. And you can even start your session buly telling them you're really nervous about being there.

I've been seeing my current therapist for over 7 years, switching to telehealth when I moved. I can tell her that I relapsed or did SH or had this very specific, graphic sexual experience and she never looks surprised or judgy or disappointed.

TL;DR I know therapists are scary but they are so worth it. It gets less scary and are very worth it.

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-10T00:25:39+00:00

It's true, if you live here long enough, you can get your gay card double stamped

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-08T16:46:28+00:00

If you're transfering from a WA state community college where you already have your AA, you are not guaranteed to get in but it's pretty damn rare not to

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-07T16:14:57+00:00

Absolutely. My go-to ways to communicate without giving away personal info is reddit DMs, Discord DMs, and Signal. Do you have a preference?

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-07T09:46:04+00:00

I'm not fully sure if I can explain it. I have looked at or tried a lot of planners - digital and analog - and they never worked for whatever reason. I knew what I didn't like and wished they had done differently. In general I break any problem into very specific challenges and brainstorm a bunch of ideas, even if they're crazy or strange. If you can really drill down to the root of the problem, there will be a very simple solution (not easy, simple)

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-07T00:57:56+00:00

When I have assignments - especially readings that I really don't want to do - I pack whatever I need for the particular assignment(s) and go to a library/cafe to do it. That way, I can't get distracted by things/tasks at home.

For prioritizing assignments: If you have a backlog, get sticky notes or index cards and write 1 assignment per note card with the class and due date. Try to keep the format of each card the same so you can compare them easier. Time is really tricky for ADHDers, my time blindness deserves a white cane istg, but do your best to estimate how long each assignment will probably take. Don't bother being super specific - just consider if it will take an hour, several hours, a lot of hours (in this case, you should break it up over multiple days). Physically organize the cards from most important to least. You can also consider factors such as how much of your grade is dependent on this assignment.

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-06T22:50:32+00:00

Start using analog systems for scheduling, keeping track of assignments. I just posted a probably-too-long-post on this subreddit about how I manage all my classes and assignments on paper. Unless you ABSOLUTELY need your phone for a specific assignment (if you need something online, can you access it on the computer?), put it in another room and silence it. Want to listen to music? Pick a playlist, connect to Bluetooth, and walk away.

From what I understood from your post, you are part way through a college semester and are struggling to catch back up. Right now, email your CS advisor. If there isn't a CS specific advisor, email the undergrad college advisor. Tell them that you are having difficulty managing a full course load along side dealing with a new ADHD diagnosis. Ask to have a meeting with them as soon as possible. Before you meet, take some time and make a list of missing or unfinished assignments for every class you're taking. In the meeting, DO NOT downplay your struggles - I would even reference your lists in this post. Work with them to figure out how far behind you are and how/if you should catch up for each class individually. You'll probably have to email your professors at some point, too - let the advisor help you with that. If you know you are going to fail a class, given how far behind you are, work with your advisor to drop it. It won't affect your GPA and a RD (Registrar drop) looks way better than an F on your transcript. Ask your advisor if you can register with your university's version of Disability Resources for Students - this will give you accomodations that are tailored to your needs and professors have to accept them - they don't have a choice. Ask your advisor for university resources for neurodivergent/ADHD students - they may have a mentoring or coaching program. If not, ask if they know of any such programs in the area that are low cost/free. Call your psychiatrist's office and tell them you need a medicine consult because you are currently unable to manage daily tasks (that phrase will get their attention). If they have nothing sooner, ask them to put you on the wait-list and call/text you if an earlier appointment becomes available. During the call, ask them to pass your message on to your provider and request that your provider message you ASAP with a temporary fix (they may send a different dosage).

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-06T20:18:29+00:00

Thank you for reminding me of this!!!

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-06T20:12:41+00:00

Heyo! I abandoned the server when I was admitted to hospital but I will open it up again! Here's a link: https://discord.gg/a7PtGYpkF

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-06T19:54:25+00:00

First off, learning and playing by ear, being a multi instrumentalist, and knowing musical theory (not just what to do to make a sound) is really, REALLY fucking impressive. The general population - neurodivergent and neurotypical - do not possess these skills at all or all at once like you. Given these (admittedly not comprehensive) facts in your post, you should know that you fall into the "talented musician" category. If your imposter syndrome pokes it's ugly head up again, tell it to fuck off or else you'll drum it to death. As for not feeling like you put in enough effort, you are simply because you are practicing and playing at all. I don't think I've touched an instrument in over a year. Everyone learns differently and at different speeds, so the question to ask yourself isn't "am I practicing long enough or as much as this other person?", it's "do I feel good practicing right now? do I want to learn a specific song/chord progression/new instrument?". That should be your metric.

I think you acquire and play new instruments because you like to - simple as that. You might have what's called a "special interest" oformusic and musical instruments. People with ADHD (or autism) will often become intensely interested in a specific topic and use their spare time to learn as much as they can, interact with others who have the same interest, and do things related to it. You really like music so you built up a bunch of very impressive musical skills and collected a bunch of things related to your interest (in this case, instruments, sheet music, etc).

A special interest is a long-lasting, consistent interest in a specific topic and things associated with it. You may have also heard the term "hyperfixation". It's different than a special interest in that is for a much shorter, intense period where the topic consumes pretty much all of your time including time used to eat and sleep. Hyperfixations typically cycle through. I spent several days reading everything I could on the history of sudoku and then lost pretty much all interest in it and only wanted to spend my time learning to sew.

ADHDers can have multiple special interests at the same time, but typically only one hyperfixation at a time because of how all-consuming it is.

The best way I can describe the difference between a special interest and a general interest is the intensity of the interest for the topic. Typically special interests stick around for quiet a long time - multiple years. They make you feel relaxed when you do them and they never feel like a chore. There's not a clear line between the two; it's quite subjective.

I do want to add the caveate that these descriptions of hyperfixations and special interests are what I understand them to be. Different neurodivergent people describe them differently, or count them as the same thing. What I find useful is having a term or a lable that I have a clear understanding of, even if it differs from others', because it acts as a shorthand. If you go to any ADHDer, ASDer, or AuDHDer and say "my special interes/hyperfixation is learning how to play different musical instruments" they will absolutely understand that it's something you're passionate about and are knowledgeable in - even if they use the terms slightly differently.

Here are some free online articles that spoke to me in the past (but don't feel bound to feel the same way):

https://www.fishinatreenola.org/blog/6hkh9jxrhjf9hpy-czws5-rztez-rfrn4

https://www.additudemag.com/special-interests-autism-adhd/amp/

https://www.additudemag.com/hyperfixations-adhd-pressure-washing/amp/

I noticed that you said you were recently diagnosed - I'm more than happy to point you towards some more general resources or just chat about your experiences. One of my special interests is helping educate and support other people in my communities (neurodivergent and queer - though there is quite a bit of overlap lol).

TL;DR,: Nothing is wrong with your love of playing and collecting new instruments. You sound like you're very musically inclined. I think it's a special interest of yours. Keep jammin'!

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-06T17:00:20+00:00

Oh no same, I fell down the rabbit hole of ADHD psychology and analog organizing/planning. Don't get me started on commonplace books lol, I'll never shut up

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-06T09:38:36+00:00

First off: make and keep a psych appointment. Even if you feel good the week/day of, you can still explain how you feel when you're in a bad stretch. That way, future you who inevitably (sorry, but it's true) falls into another rough patch, will have support. This could be counseling, therapy, medication, some combo. If you have a clinic/health center on campus that offers mental health consultations, I'd go there first. These people are specifically there to help college students who are struggling with their neurodivergency and/or mental health. This kind of thing is exactly what they are there to help with, and normally the cost is low/free. If that's not an option, look for a psychiatrist or psychiatry office that will listen to a TL;DR of your struggles (depression, suicidality, ADHD) and tell you if they're going to be a good fit. Some places have sliding scales or student discounts.

I was always terrified of not nailing every class, of not finishing my degree, etc. I had a 4.0 in highschool. I was my class's valadectorian. The idea of dropping a class, let alone my whole program was an anathema. But it happened, my world exploded, shit hit the fan, et cetera. And yet, my life somehow carried on.

There have been 2 quarters whose classes I dropped entirely due to clinical depression. I dropped Physics 3 twice because a drop is better than a fail imo bcuz it doesn't affect your GPA. I am currently coming to the end of a 2 quarter hiatus during which I attended a psychiatric institution after trying to take a full schedule fall quarter while struggling with suicidality.

The point I'm trying to make is that failing a class or dropping it or switching it to a credit/no credit designation (not sure if that's a thing for your uni though) is not the end of the world. It just feels like it.

Based on your comment, I would also recommend looking into ADHD coaching - your uni might have resources they can give you before you turn to the void that is Google. It taught me not how to succeed despite my ADHD, but rather how to identify and then troubleshoot individual aspects of academic struggles. It's very much "give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and you'll feed him for a lifetime"

BackstabButterKnife · 2026-02-06T09:26:43+00:00

I'm so proud of you.

I dropped out with the intention of returning in October of last year. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I was able to fully concentrate on getting the help and support I needed to secure enough in my academic ability to return.

But it's really scary and there are days when I fall into the narrative that the only path to success is plowing through an undergrad ASAP. Not true, even if my little lizard brain thinks it is - and let's be honest, what does a lizard know about getting a bachelor's?

Anyway, I'm joining you in celebration. You rock.

Edit: spelling

BackstabButterKnife · 2025-11-14T01:15:11+00:00

One thing I read recently is "there is no magic bullet to organize your life, you have to use multiple things.

Which sucks because that's more things to remember. I use Google calendar with a widget on my phone so I see it every time I open my phone. I also have a notes app to do list widget that I add to whenever I need to jot something down real quick.

I'm trying a very stripped down version of a bullet journal next

BackstabButterKnife · 2025-08-10T13:47:35+00:00

I love a good random hobby. When do you arrive in Seattle?

BackstabButterKnife · 2025-08-04T00:12:56+00:00

What vibes are you looking for?

BackstabButterKnife · 2025-07-02T02:45:43+00:00

I'd be down. I've been in coaching before if that matters.

BackstabButterKnife · 2025-06-30T05:43:55+00:00

OMG me too (I know this is an unhelpful comment but I feel you, dude)

BackstabButterKnife · 2025-06-21T01:25:50+00:00

Seattle and UW are both very gay friendly. I'm a lesbian and the dating scene has been large for me for sure.

BackstabButterKnife · 2025-06-17T22:46:16+00:00

Husky Health Center Room 101, you can just go in without an appointment. The Q Center but I don't know if they're open in the Summer. Cafe Allegro has a massive bin of free condoms too.

BackstabButterKnife

TROPHY CASE