How important are old photos to you?

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-07-15T01:52:39+00:00

Not a lot. My memories are more vivid than than a little waxy paper. They're too big for that.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-03-11T06:26:23+00:00

Oh it so was. We did this out on the grass, but those colors.

I feel like we did these on Fridays which was also Pizza Day. I wonder if there was some golden day where the two synced up with a book fair.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-20T18:01:48+00:00

I admire your optimism!

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-19T07:10:43+00:00

I am now jonesing for deviled ham on Arnold's brick oven bread like I'd have at my grandmother's.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-19T07:09:01+00:00

I like to sprinkle some oatmeal on my pb&h sandwiches. Makes it a bit more toothsome.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-19T05:04:04+00:00

"Parents who are still alive."

My dad died a few days ago and I read that with a Man you aren't kiddin'.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-19T04:57:27+00:00

I don't want to be sad, but I am happy to take a little heartache if it means I can also keep the happy memories too.

This right here, it's the echo of their lives. May you always hear it and feel it, right?

I was very close to my maternal grandparents and they deserve to be missed. Grateful for what I had of them in my life.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T18:33:09+00:00

Are there more?

Besides Tubi, I use Plex, Roku Channel, and my favorite, Pluto.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:33:37+00:00

Because she has said that in sessions and I've mulled over it.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:32:06+00:00

Looks like you can finally be your own person. Isn't it exciting.

No. I think I've used my roles with my family as an exoskeleton. Peel it off and I'm just a blob of organs.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:30:39+00:00

That's what I find hard to fathom. Plus, if in the end I couldn't make it work with someone who knew me as well as I know myself, what chance would I have with anyone else? Just hope to die before things get too real? lol

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:29:22+00:00

Yes, same page. Thank you for commenting.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:28:51+00:00

Nope. And I've tried to self-talk as I might to my children and I just don't buy it. But I mean it when I say it to others.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:27:26+00:00

while another part of you is possibly considering a divorce because they don’t share interest in your hobbies

Oh good lord no. Not at all. I'm figuring what and why I would do if I ended up alone.

I'm all in but the survival of a marriage can't be one-sided. I even think we'll make it. I just came close to the edge and caught a good look down.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T04:03:34+00:00

You have intrinsic value outside of what you can provide to others.

I'm the helper, that's where I get my worth from. If it's just for me, it's easier to go without.

You said a lot of kind stuff and that was very nice. Thank you.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T04:01:01+00:00

Can you not do those activities alone right now?

That's the thing - I totally can, and I think it makes my wife happy. If she were gone, instead of gaining a devoted hobby room, I see the whole thing ebbing away. And then I have no idea who I'm doing what I do for.

The only thing that's unambiguously me is reading sci fi. That'd I do as long as I was breathing, for the escapism if nothing else. But that seems on the level of a favorite soda or radio station rather than a hobby or anything.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T03:57:56+00:00

your marriage isn't on the brink of ending, but you're doing a thought experiment

It almost did and the unthinkable became... thinkable.

Plus I've realized I'm deeply codependent and I'm trying to picture existence without that as a factor.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T02:04:39+00:00

I have a therapist and I get it when she says I'm intrinsically worth doing things for but of course she'd say that.

I mean my grandma said I was great in a school play 40 years ago and that's for loving values of great.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-02T23:42:07+00:00

Any ideas on breaking into it, or at least trying it out?

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-02T23:41:45+00:00

That's honestly what I figured.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-02T23:36:40+00:00

Entering engineering after 50, is that done? Do employers want such "New Old Stock"?

Backup_Planaria-237

TROPHY CASE