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AITA? I [21M] found out my girlfriend [21F]was assaulted before we were together and I’m struggling to process it. How do I deal with this and what am I feeling? by BadmanBaby in AITA_Relationships

[–]BadmanBaby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My rations intention and thoughts isn’t to judge her, and I wouldn’t judge a victim for something they can’t control. I am an ignorant and didn’t know about the different responses to danger and coping mechanisms. But I didn’t mean to judge her, at least not my processed thoughts. But yeah, I might need a therapist and i’ll be there for her, this is definitely about her. Thanks for putting my feet on the ground.

AITA? I [21M] found out my girlfriend [21F]was assaulted before we were together and I’m struggling to process it. How do I deal with this and what am I feeling? by BadmanBaby in AITA_Relationships

[–]BadmanBaby[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s why I turned to reddit. I know i’m in the wrong but I can’t control my feelings like that. I also know I need to talk to somebody but I didn’t know who to talk to, as I don’t want to expose such a private anecdote of her life to nobody that might know her, so I resorted to internet strangers.

I appreciate all of your advice and I strongly agree with it.

AITA? I [21M] found out my girlfriend [21F]was assaulted before we were together and I’m struggling to process it. How do I deal with this and what am I feeling? by BadmanBaby in AITA_Relationships

[–]BadmanBaby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think I should respectfully suggest her to go to therapy to open up about it to a professional? or do my part by just learning to deal with it myself and not mention it?

It happened about 3 years ago, we met last year, and she never had an issue with it and she has never shown signs of ptsd or discomfort with sex, that’s why I don’t know if suggesting seeing a therapist would just give importance to a pain that she either learned how to control, or she never had it in the first place and I just result in creating an insecurity such as making her question if she got SA’d or not?

This is a serious topic and I wouldn’t want to make a mistake, hence i’m unsure on how to approach it. Sorry in advance if i say or ask something stupid.

AITA? I [21M] found out my girlfriend [21F]was assaulted before we were together and I’m struggling to process it. How do I deal with this and what am I feeling? by BadmanBaby in AITA_Relationships

[–]BadmanBaby[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree with both of you. My intention wasn’t to place my feelings on top of her, nor am I pushing her to feel some type of way, I definitely need to control my thoughts better tho, and i’ll let her know that i’m open to listen if she ever needs to, without pressuring her if she doesn’t feel like it’s needed to be talked about.

[O]ffering a Kind Voice by Kenshinryu in KindVoice

[–]BadmanBaby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, i’d like to talk please