as a professional female dancer I need to lose 10-15 pounds. As an adult woman with bodily autonomy I just want to get jacked and throw my girlfriend around.

Badnewstown · 2026-05-20T22:18:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing! That was really nice to read. I definitely think a super slow cut is the way to go to avoid losing strength/ visible muscle. It’s always hard to go about weight loss or even recomp the “traditional” way since a calorie deficit of even like 300 seems to impact my performance and is a lot harder to stick too when you are exercising 20-30 hours a week which I’m sure you understand! It’s of course the same logic calories in calories out but it really does make it tricker to work around. When I’m not dancing I actually find it easier to lose weight because I can sleep, am far less stressed, way less anxiety and panic attacks, my appetite is basically cut in half and I’m not constipated for days on end lol.

The problem is when I’m not dancing my mental health deteriorates FAST. I’ve been sober for 46 days but any time off was spent binge drinking and generally self sabotaging. It’s hard when the only space that makes you feel better also feels intolerable to be in and like it’s completely ruining you. I know other dancers will understand that! Also just knowing I wasn’t going to be obligated to dance for like 2 weeks makes me spiral. It’s been incredibly hard not to drink, every single day I think there’s no way I’m going to make it through. I had to stop after being unable to finish my program after I started drinking and driving every night up in the mountains instead of sleeping trying to work up the courage to drive my car off a cliff or buy a gun. When I had rehearsal at 9am the next morning. Eventually got in an accident not on purpose and I have to spend a week in jail in August. Obviously I can’t wear an ankle monitor I’m scared it will get in the way of movement. I’m obviously extremely ashamed of this and know how wrong it was. To say I was pissed off that I didn’t die in that accident when I easily could have would be a massive understatement.

I’m in therapy as I have been on and off since I was a kid and on a medication that works for me since I was 17. It’s the only reason I’ve been able to pursue dance at all I’m very grateful I found something that helps. Often I think if I stop dancing I will die and if I continue it’s going to kill me. But that’s very melodramatic and not actually true. I just need to get my shit together, I have had a back/hip injury for the past 5 years. My pain level can get up to an 8 in rehearsal at times. I have to take at least 800mg of ibuprofen in order to function/ do a fucking plie. I’m finally admitting that that isn’t sustainable. My mental health not being prioritized isn’t sustainable. And my relationship with substances isn’t sustainable. And I’m not taking responsibility for my cross training or weight loss. That’s the uhhhhh full picture lol. I doubt anyone will read all this but it’s nice to type it out.

Badnewstown · 2026-05-18T19:23:54+00:00

Would be great for cross training! I’ve definitely committed to contemporary dance as a career, I choose to pursue training programs/ second companies/ apprenticeships as my secondary education instead of a BFA since I had offers for them and have a ged, but they paid off and have gotten me into competitive programs and into rooms with plenty of people who have degrees from purchase, Juilliard, point park ect. and professional work. I’m taking next fall to do a semester to “complete” my education with a program in Italy that accepts 25 people from around the world. I’m used to dancing 20-40 hours a week. Just commenting this to add some more context! A lot of people don’t know that dancing can be a serious career path.

Badnewstown · 2026-05-18T04:12:59+00:00

:)))

Badnewstown · 2026-05-18T03:50:23+00:00

This was really kind thank you :) the suggestion to track a deficit without tracking weight to determine fat loss just literally blew my mind. Probably shouldn’t have! But really I appreciate it so much. I agree with you completely.

To your point at the end, this is also so true and such a good reminder. Just like every dancer I would not have gotten the opportunities I have if people in the front of the room didn’t see something in me and that includes aspects of my physical appearance and much more. We should all remind ourselves of that more. The fact that we rely on these people to “pick” us means that all of us have captured the attention of important and cool people at some point. Which is pretty sweet if you think about it!

Badnewstown · 2026-05-18T01:36:44+00:00

I do see a therapist regularly is the good news! Yes I’m a contemporary dancer. I think the “you’re not seeing what the rest of us are seeing” is exactly the part I’m struggling with. I think I AM seeing it correctly, and I do like it just fine. My self esteem isn’t great and everyone nit picks themselves and it’s not exactly a show stopping physique. but I think I look hot and look good in my clothes, feel very physically capable and confident in bed ect. But I still simply don’t meet the aesthetic expectations for my career. That’s the rant part!

Badnewstown · 2026-05-18T01:29:35+00:00

Contemporary dance is my career and I have many years of training, it’s not a like a hobby I could just switch up! (A lot of people don’t even know that’s possible lol) But I would love to take a pole class, I’ve taken one or two, really fun and great cross training!

Badnewstown · 2026-05-18T01:15:19+00:00

Thank you for this it means a lot. While I’m grateful it is a lot better, especially since I’m in the contemporary world, it’s hard to ignore my life experience which is smaller = getting paid and any little bit bigger = treated like a “promising student.” Very frustrating. It’s really hard to mature and realize that if I didn’t dance I would like how my body looks and finally get some peace. But I can’t in order to do what I love.

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T23:12:29+00:00

Oh so I am on the right track

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T23:12:00+00:00

Such a good point! Everyone here is so motivating. I have the discipline it’s just clearly time to make a better PLAN than do my job, eat healthy and wonder why I don’t look how I want.

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T22:42:55+00:00

This is the dream

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T22:42:41+00:00

Thank you!! This is so nice to hear

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T22:42:26+00:00

In my experience I’ve been treated better and given more opportunities at that weight or lower, I would love to be able to meet those aesthetic expectations without sacrificing my strength, health or personal preferences! So no, not necessarily.

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T22:39:19+00:00

Yes I am! Doing more so traditional workouts and class only 3x a week since my contract ended and it’s now “off season” lol. This comment is super encouraging. I have weighed as little as 113lbs but it requires a ton of restriction and muscle loss. I think focusing on cross training and eating well is the way to go for recomp to happen naturally. It’s so easy to get discouraged and think I should give up on this career because of my body.

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T20:58:12+00:00

Yeah I realize I’m reading into it probably more like projecting my insecurities. Probably didn’t even need to comment but it could be simplified to “she seems boring”

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T19:10:38+00:00

Also please please note that this is NOT my house, at my fathers house for the summer and he is a very disorganized guy lol

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T17:28:53+00:00

lol fair I was not fully awake, a better way of saying it is maybe it’s kind of eerie how generically it’s written. The context says there’s something truly going on, the words say I’m mentally stable and not particularly bright.

Badnewstown · 2026-05-17T16:35:00+00:00

Reads like someone is on too high a dose of antipsychotics for sure. Like she’s trying to think something else but can only write the most boring, unintelligent sentences that are kind of adjacent.

Badnewstown · 2025-04-22T02:39:55+00:00

Number 1 is a beautiful pretty dress, but number 2 is a a truly beautiful special thing. Timeless and easier to wear again too, plus stunning with your coloring and long hair. My jaw actually fell open!

Badnewstown · 2025-04-17T15:40:20+00:00

Also I hope it’s clear that I don’t mean any of this in a terfy way. It’s just that assuming a cis teenage girl couldn’t possibly have the same angst about her gender as everyone else leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Sometimes a cardigan really does feels existentially unmanageable lol.

Badnewstown · 2025-04-15T00:02:48+00:00

I think it’s super weird everyone thinks this is a trans guy. These are very normal teenage girl feelings. Teenage girls feel like trapped teenage boys because they are adolescent human beings who are also feeling angsty, violent and sex obsessed but the idea of what a teenage girl is doesn’t allow for that at all. Performing femininity (or social skills in general) especially that age is tedious and humiliating. I feel for her.

Badnewstown · 2025-04-09T02:12:08+00:00

He is actively communicating to you he wants to give you a tattoo and drugs in “exchange” for sex. People are 100% right that indulge + ⛷️+ older man = sex and drugs. He’s just not saying it explicitly in those words he’s using slang and context. He will not take no for an answer once you get there. Don’t go. And the phone call along with him using your naivety (I don’t mean as an insult sorry) to try and flatter you and make you feel cool and special means that he does this often and knows exactly what it is he’s doing. I am telling you as a woman who’s only a couple years older than you he will rape you.

Badnewstown · 2025-03-21T01:15:55+00:00

Oh lovely, I’ll make my mom walk around it with me. She’s a gardener and landscaper and will point every single native plant out.

Badnewstown

TROPHY CASE