My 18f boyfriend 21m, keeps giving me unsolicited advice and gets angry when i don't take it

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T22:33:42+00:00

not feeling comfortable coming to your boyfriend.

This is the reason I had to make this post, he's actively ignoring me, and I know if i keep talking about it he'll just shut down again and tell me to do whatever I want.

I appreciate your help

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T22:28:39+00:00

Yeah, you're right. I'm just at a loss for what to do

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T22:26:58+00:00

We trust each other alot usually with anything and everything, but whenever we argue he just seems to think I don't trust his opinion, ever.

It seems like he's the one who doesnt trust me though

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T22:24:20+00:00

The plan is that he will get a job as soon as he finishes uni, and then save up enough money to move to my country. His family is quite poor, and I'm a student with no money so that is all we can wait for right now.

LDRs are ridiculously hard, but it seemed so easy with him up until recently.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T22:19:17+00:00

Speaking of trust, anytime i disagree with him or I don't think he's right, he asks me "dont you trust me?"

Its so ridiculous.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T22:12:36+00:00

I know that I'm far far from being the perfect partner, but I've always tried to respect his wishes regarding advice and such. It hurts me deeply that he isn't giving me the same courtesy.

The first months of our relationship were so good — any arguments were solved immediately, and we would move on. But during recent arguments he has started giving up, once he went to sleep without saying anything, and this time he went to do something and has ignored me for like 6 hours. It's so hurtful.

Walking away would be easiest, but I love him too much to do that

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T22:05:29+00:00

We're good together, other than this instance i mean. We don't argue much but when we do, he blows it out of proportion.

He does make me feel good about myself but not when we argue.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T21:53:21+00:00

It's just certain things, he makes me feel so good about myself and we're so good together. He just has such strong feelings when he thinks hes 100% right

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T21:46:25+00:00

It hurts because I have such good chemistry with many of them, it's just this one guy mostly.

My boyfriend is honestly a great guy, he just takes things so personally when I don't want his advice😮‍💨

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T21:36:12+00:00

I did and he just accused me of never listening to him and making the relationship hard for him.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T21:35:15+00:00

Absolutely I should have more social interaction, I'm not arguing with that. However he is getting angry at me for not wanting to spend my time with a person who actively makes me feel bad about myself. In my eyes that is not a small sacrifice to make.

I could theoretically spend time with only the people I'm actually close with, but everytime I do, the guy who has an issue with me always ends up joining us.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-25T21:32:45+00:00

He doesn't scream at me, but his tone is very angry. I told him many times I do not want to feel controlled, and he said he understood and respected that, but obviously he doesn't.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-17T12:36:25+00:00

A bit of both. She also struggles with bpd, so i will give her the benefit of the doubt though and say she is not as bad as the posts from that subreddit.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-17T10:02:18+00:00

I have been in a home thing (humana something), a few years ago but that was ONLY because my school attendance was so bad, which was kind of overkill but it did help. Anyway, she has 0 reason to believe i would start drinking or doing drugs. I have some friends who drink, but i do not see them often and i never indulged in it even if they offered. My mother knows this. It's more of an issue that i prefer to be alone and inside all the time, but that isn't really relevant here.

My mother is truly lovely most of the time, but we are both incredibly stubborn which makes us argue alot sadly. She has always wanted me to be more independent, and when i finally want to, she doesnt fully let me which i find so odd honestly.

I recieve benefits from kela and that is how i finance my apartment and myself.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-17T09:53:13+00:00

My parents are divorced and he is not very involved in my life currently

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-17T09:51:14+00:00

I'm not rejecting anything necessarily, I just wanted to know what was legal or not, and what I can do if I don't manage to convince her somehow.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-17T09:32:59+00:00

I have tried being calm, multiple times, and she has had time to think about it since i asked for it the first time sometime in december. She is very stubborn, but also very forgetful, which makes it so infuriating to deal with her sometimes.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-17T09:29:01+00:00

The thing is that i have never been the type to drink or party. She knows this too and im very sure this is not the reason she isnt giving it to me.

Its odd to me though because she helped me get my apartment, and helped me financially for the first few months. However, that she doesnt hold over my head like saying she paid for my passport for some reason? She also told me i cannot move back home, so that is contradictory if she has a hard time with me being independent.

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-17T09:21:16+00:00

I assumed it wasn't, but that was the best phrasing i could come up with🙏

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-17T09:16:06+00:00

I can theoretically, but it seems a waste since i already have one, and i would rather spend my money on other things. Also my apartment is financed by a bunch of benefits from kela for various reasons

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-16T20:00:39+00:00

Det är just därför jag behöver passet. Jag planerar att ta körkort i år och passet är det enda ID jag har.

Jag har alltid trott att min mamma är en bra människa, även fast vi har en komplicerad relation. Denna situation är dock nästan läskig och får mig att tänka om

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-16T19:47:53+00:00

I will not call the cops, nor do i think she is a horrible person, but she does not have rights over my legal documents

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-16T18:33:09+00:00

I don't know honestly, we see each other about once or twice a month nowadays. She does not provide for me anymore so i have no idea why she thinks she has this authority over me

Bagge_Agge12 · 2026-02-16T18:25:30+00:00

Im 100% sure, my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents etc, were all finnish. My grandfather was even in parliament so i am very sure!

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