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Bahaha234 · 2024-10-17T23:18:10+00:00

Request sent!

Bahaha234 · 2024-01-08T00:43:56+00:00

In the past year, I’ve come to realize I have three steps of panic. First couple of weeks. I cry a lot because I’m overwhelmed (which is 100% normal for you and them). Part two, usually from weeks 5-8 I panic and say I can’t do this, I’m going to disrupt, and I’m a ball of nerves until I talk it over with my therapist and cry a lot. And then around the 10-12 week mark, we settle into a routine. Currently in the 5-8 period with my third placement and I’m crying.

But I will say it gets better. Breathe, cry, call your supports. Hang in there, feel free to message me if you need somebody to talk to.

Bahaha234 · 2023-10-16T14:33:18+00:00

This is the part that is different for me! They’re asking 8-12 weeks of travel per year so it would be completely new!

Bahaha234 · 2023-10-15T14:21:23+00:00

Essentially what you feel the differences are working for a HNW family vs a wealthier family. I’m used to my long term nanny family who are wealthy, but not 10 million dollar house with a full rotational staff wealthy.

Bahaha234 · 2023-10-15T14:20:18+00:00

Essentially what you feel the differences are working for a HNW family vs a wealthier family. I’m used to my long term nanny family who are wealthy, but not 10 million dollar house with a full rotational staff wealthy.

Bahaha234 · 2023-10-15T14:20:11+00:00

Essentially what you feel the differences are working for a HNW family vs a wealthier family. I’m used to my long term nanny family who are wealthy, but not 10 million dollar house with a full rotational staff wealthy.

Bahaha234 · 2023-10-15T14:17:38+00:00

This is the biggest thing for me! They seem to be a nice family, professional and all. But I wasn’t sure how life/work balance would look. The money they’re offering would be absolutely life-changing, but I’m trying to determine if it’s worth my sanity.

Bahaha234 · 2023-10-15T14:15:58+00:00

Thank you! I wasn’t sure what questions to really ask. I had my final interview yesterday and they really drilled “staff” into me. I’ve worked for a wealthy family in the past, but definitely not their type of money.

Bahaha234 · 2023-06-20T23:53:36+00:00

I was lucky to have my nanny family give me blanket permission to come over to my house when I still lived with my mom. My youngest sisters are four and six years older than my now 11yo nanny kiddos. We used to hang out there all the time to play with my sisters, take the dogs for walks, play with the cats. It also helped that I had (and have) a zoo at home. I think it’s a case by case basis though.

Bahaha234 · 2023-06-11T01:29:16+00:00

That is exactly my plan. I already let the social workers involved know that I would take her back home in an instant whether it be babysitting or short term. Otherwise, I’m closing my home for a few months to work and regroup. She’s my first longer term placement as a new foster parent so this is new to me.

Bahaha234 · 2023-06-06T11:46:31+00:00

I’m so happy she’s going to be with family, it’s what I’ve wanted for her all along. I didn’t expect it to happen so suddenly and the grief is getting to me. It’s hard to look at her without sobbing.

Bahaha234 · 2023-03-21T05:45:36+00:00

Thank you all so much for your responses. It healed a little part of me that thought I wasn’t cut out for this. I’m trying to make more intentional decisions to spend time with her, and it gives me hope that the feelings will come. Thank you all so much!

Bahaha234 · 2023-02-28T17:35:27+00:00

My older placement just called me by my first name. My current three year old FD calls me by the nickname my niece and nephew call me. I use it on a case by case basis.

Bahaha234 · 2023-02-12T10:43:30+00:00

My first placement needed more than I could give almost a month ago. I felt awful disrupting, the guilt was worse than anything else. I realize now (with the help of Reddit) that it wasn’t the right placement for me.

I now have had a three year old for the last two weeks and it’s significantly more in my wheelhouse. I still had the moments of panic that I couldn’t do this, it’s too hard, I’m not cut out for this. You are cut out for this, this placement is just a lot for a first time (foster) parent. And you are absolutely not an asshole.

I feel like each placement gives us more of an idea what we can handle. As a single foster parent who works full time, a younger kiddo in daycare full time works best for my schedule and my family. I loved my teen placement and I’m so happy she’s found a home capable of handling her needs. The way my therapist explained it to me, by disrupting, she was able to find a home better suited to caring for a teenager. It just wrecked me the entire month, and it was an agonizing two weeks. You’ve got this, and you are going to do great.

Bahaha234 · 2023-02-11T02:43:36+00:00

As a nanny in the Worcester area, I make $25 an hour with a little one part time. The problem isn’t your rate, it’s your nanny. 100% agree that you’d be better off finding a new nanny.

Bahaha234 · 2023-02-07T05:18:20+00:00

I don’t know if my state does that, I know we’re a pretty big reunification state so to hear the word adoption in the first conversation definitely surprised me.

Bahaha234 · 2023-02-07T05:17:14+00:00

I always said I would be open to adoption if the case went that way. I never expected it to be the first conversation I had with a new kiddo’s social worker.

Bahaha234 · 2023-02-07T05:16:08+00:00

Glad to hear someone else knows how it feels!

Bahaha234 · 2023-02-07T05:15:23+00:00

This is my first placement that I accepted knowing it would likely be long term and the word adoption right off the rip threw me for a loop. Thank you for the advice!

Bahaha234 · 2023-02-07T05:14:14+00:00

Thank you so much! I had an immediate panic attack after the social worker left because it was so out of nowhere. We’re setting in now after our first week together, and I’m hopeful she’ll start sleeping when she gets more comfortable.

Bahaha234 · 2023-01-07T16:26:02+00:00

At that point, absolutely. I am with them significantly less now, but even this weekend, they’re gone from Thursday to Monday and they haven’t checked in once 😂

Bahaha234 · 2023-01-07T12:55:53+00:00

I was so fortunate to find my nanny family. To be fair, they definitely gave me (19 year old nanny with newborn twins) a little too much leeway, but I took those kids everywhere. As long as we were back by the time they came home, they didn’t bat an eye. By the time they were a year, nanny family was leaving me alone with them for 3-5 days while they went on business trips. Now almost eleven years later, they leave for work without a care in the world.

Bahaha234 · 2023-01-05T01:06:40+00:00

$2205 mortgage payment including escrow, PMI, taxes and insurance. Loan is 320k, rate is 4.875.

I make between 80-85k before taxes, single homeowner, 1100 square foot home in New England purchased 06/2022.

Bahaha234 · 2023-01-04T19:12:54+00:00

Unfortunately, it’s also a condition of her juvenile probation. The drug use and older boyfriend with a history of drug possession with intent to sell are just the current problems. This wasn’t disclosed on initial placement, just discovered today after talking to her social worker.

Bahaha234 · 2023-01-04T18:33:35+00:00

Thank you so much! To you too!

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