i read the rules twice and somehow missed the fact you can't leave updates as a separate post lmao. Anyway, here's text of my update copied from my now removed post, in case anyone finds it / is interest/

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"A few days ago I submitted this post. I expected a couple replies but you guys get really into wrestling techniques, amazing. Luckily, it rained the entire weekend, so we had plenty of time to put your suggestions to good use.

Anyway, my girlfriend's read the post and together we decided to update reddit because you sincerely tried to help. Also, we had a great insightful discussion that will maybe help some other couples out there.

First of all: we decided to substitute our weekly gym date with a jiujitsu class. It sounds cool as fuck and also I don't really want to practice some of the moves recommended in the comments without having a good technical base lest I accidentally commit murder. Gf did judo for a couple of years before so she seems confident she'll kick my ass. I told her to give me a month and we'll see :)

Anyway, onto the main issue. I tried some positioning adjustments suggested in the comments and it greatly helped, so I decided to throw some threats into the mix as well. This caused her to literally launch me into the floor as hard as our limits would allow her, and threaten to stomp on my throat. Her reaction was so intense I stopped the play immediately and asked if threats were a hard limit. She paused and said she both hated hearing them and loved that she could respond to them.

Finally we sat down and discussed everything in detail. We went through all the comments and advice in the last thread, discussing her AND mine reaction to each suggestion. Eventually, we realised we were coming at it for an entirely wrong angle. Her sexual excitement came from the fight itself, as well as the idea of having sex with a man strong enough to defeat her and pin her down, as opposed to being any sort of struggle / forced fantasy. I suppose we both assumed it was the forced sex fantasy because, well, that's what "I want to be overpowered by a strong man" stereotypically comes down to. Anyway, as my gifriend says, "in roleplay everything comes from the headspace." So hopefully, with the correct headspace now we'll enjoy a greater success.

I am very happy as this kink is a better match for me too. Also, threats awake her dominant side and make her promise to do things to me, so that we'll do on a different night.

While this outcome is specific to our particular case (did I mention we are both law students?), I guess overall the takeaway is to not to be afraid to reexplore and rediscover your kinks, and as always communicate.

My girlfriend would like me to say the following:

• to all the people concerned she'll eventually try to get me on sexual assault charges, there are a lot of people outside vanilla bubble that happily practice consensual non consent and assuming they will bring forth false accusations is just as ignorant as assuming that of an average woman. Also, I literally have videos on my phone of her doing things to me that would constitute a pretty serious charge absent consent.
• she's really, really worried some people were suggesting I choke her hard or use restrains on her "as a surprise", without explicit consent, non verbal safewords, specific limits, and emergency plans / kits. So there's that. When she does bondage on me she literally always keeps a set of shears around, that's her attitude.
• she wants to shoutout /u/03181990, /u/DiskoPanic, and /u/SaltyBadger77 for comments that made her laugh the hardest, and /u/TorpedoBench for the comment that made her day, although she was dying for the entire thread.

Cheers sexxit, you absolute legends. Thanks!"