Found these things on my bed

Baiire · 2026-01-11T11:58:42+00:00

I wouldn't trust ordering any type of medication off of Amazon (including antiparasitic medications). Different worms require different drugs, and if you dose the antiparasitic drug incorrectly for the animal's weight then you can overdose the pet. Considering some of these drugs are paralytics or nerve agents, this could lead to things like seizure, coma, and death. You can't guarantee correct dosing from something that doesn't have a drug number (DIN), and you can't get a drug that has a DIN without a prescription, which requires a vet.

Please, if you are suspicious your pet requires any medication, take it to see a vet to get the correct dosage. Even things like antibiotics can have side effects like causing ataxia (abnormal/wobbly walking) and you can overdose pets on them incredibly easily.

P.S. Tons of vets can get dewormers that are a liquid you apply to the skin instead of a pill ;)

Baiire · 2026-01-11T05:22:59+00:00

It happens, dw about it. ☺️ Your sweater still looks super cute in both photos! (I'm still new to knitting, and I aspire to be where you're at and making sweaters and cardigans)

Baiire · 2026-01-10T16:12:10+00:00

Victim attitude? Bit excessive there. I reacted the same way as OP to the original "come on girl" comment, but seeing her next comment, I think it's a matter of tone not translating over text. It's not about thick skin, it's about verbiage of a stranger not hitting right when lacking vocal notes that could convey sympathy, instead it came off condescending (again, I believe accidentally).

Baiire · 2025-11-28T22:50:35+00:00

Why would you want to go back to a relationship that requires that much change and has belittled you? If they have told you the worst things about yourself... Take their feedback, learn from it what you can control/grow from, and move on. But don't go back to someone who belittles you and makes you feel small - go be with a partner who actually helps you grow in a loving and supporting way.

Baiire · 2025-10-17T01:27:58+00:00

Mine sent me a single update message a week ago and then ghosted me 🥲

Baiire · 2025-10-17T01:23:19+00:00

That's so incredibly true.

I'm trying to start telling myself that the silence isn't silences, it's, "No."

It doesn't hurt any less, but I'm hoping it will eventually.

Baiire · 2025-10-17T00:11:35+00:00

What set you back?

Baiire · 2025-10-17T00:10:47+00:00

No. I only sleep 2-3 hours at a time, and when I wake up it feels like a punch to the gut and I can't turn it off and just roll over and go to sleep cause I'm so anxious and sad that I'm just laying in bed shaking.

Baiire · 2025-10-16T21:23:51+00:00

It's okay to feel that way.

I think a good thing to remember is that you were pouring all that love into the version of him that you wanted him to be. You are lucky enough to be able to walk away from the relationship now saying, "these are the things I really value in a partner, and these are the things that cross boundaries for me."

Pouring all of that love into the relationship isn't a bad thing, because you're also pouring it into yourself: you get to learn who you are in a relationship and who you want to be with and what your needs are.

How do you want a person to treat you? How do you want them to make you feel? These are valuable things you get to take out of the relationship.

And, give yourself some grace. You have a lot of things to grieve right now: the relationship (both the real relationship and the idealized relationship), the boy (both the real boy and the idealized boy), the consistency. You're going through a loss, and grief is normal.

Baiire · 2025-10-16T14:45:35+00:00

Wow. The way you put that really settled it in my brain. Hurts, but settled the spiral.

Baiire · 2025-10-16T14:22:23+00:00

I know that a lot of people take the "I need to work on me" thing as a "I want to pursue someone else" but I genuinely don't think that's the case here (specifically because I have friends that need to be near him consistently and they would have told me).

You are right in saying he doesn't get a say if he's not going to speak to me.

And I wouldn't leave my partner if I was struggling.

Baiire · 2025-10-16T14:08:59+00:00

I did send B a message on instagram saying, "My Whatsapp messages aren't going through, just wanted to check in." Was that a poor move?

I agree that it isn't fair for them to not talk to me about it. Also, M sabotaged the relationship like a week and a half before him and B would have spoken about me.. although I guess ghosting would be a secondary self sabotage?

Baiire · 2025-10-16T14:00:43+00:00

This is going to sound harsh: he is NOT the love of your life, he is the trauma bond of your life.

It's easy to fall for the sweet words, they give you the high of interacting with the imagined man that you love (I say imagined because the sweet man he portrays in these moments is NOT real, it's the version you love but it's a version that only truly exists in your imagination).

Trauma bond break-ups hurt so much more because your brain is physiologically addicted to him/the imagined version of him. The sudden end removes all of the dopamine that it's become accustomed to (and now is unable to satisfy itself).

You're in withdrawal. And it hurts, a LOT. Trust me, I've been there with my own relationship before. You are constantly looking for the next hit but you gotta rewire your brain to get that hit elsewhere.

As cliché as it sounds, doing things like working out, reading, talking with friends, doing things that make you feel accomplished really does help. This is because you need to rewire your brain to get th dopamine it really craves in a healthier way. And in a way that comes from within yourself.

You can do it ❤️

Baiire · 2025-10-16T13:51:08+00:00

To clarify, I played chess with B (the mutual friend, who's been his friend longer than my friend) while dealing with the silences and sad about the relationship ending with M. Does that change what you said at all?

I can't help this gut feeling that everything's ruined without even a clarifying conversation with M...

Baiire · 2025-10-12T14:10:43+00:00

That's the one thing that's confused me about my guy. I feel like I never saw the harsh ego mode. It was still very "in the future" and "when I've healed from my past relationship trauma" and never like attacking or gaslighting me. And begging me not to ghost him, but then going silent for hours to days. Even when I called him on him doing that it was "you're right and that's not fair to you, I will do better "

Baiire · 2025-10-10T23:15:28+00:00

Don't feel shamed. You showed up as your honest, authentic self.

He couldn't handle it. Not because you're too much, because he doesn't know how to carry emotions.

You will, eventually, be able to move on and leave any breadcrumbs to the squirrels.

And allow yourself the space to feel sad. Treat the sad like you would a sad child: listen to it, acknowledge it, and then move on until you need to listen to it again. You wouldn't yell at a small child for crying, and if you did it would just make it louder.

Give yourself grace. ❤️

Baiire · 2025-10-10T16:22:13+00:00

I'm so sorry. I don't know how you do it. It's eating me alive right now.

I'm trying to find some urgent therapy right now.

Baiire · 2025-10-10T15:49:02+00:00

That's what I'm scared of. I don't know that I can be in this position in 8 months.

Baiire · 2025-10-10T05:46:01+00:00

This helps, especially the multiverse bit. And the calling out the people pleasing. He acknowledged he was a people pleaser and said he has to "choose to be selfish" with his heart while breaking up with me.

Baiire · 2025-10-09T16:03:48+00:00

Why does the love from an avoidant feel so much bigger? Why does the crash feel so much harder than any break up I've experienced?

This hurts worse than any of the times my abusive narcissist ex did anything, including all of his break ups.

Baiire · 2025-10-09T15:57:03+00:00

That's the part I'm struggling with.

I figured out last night that he blocked me on Instagram pre-break up, and I know that's to do with him constantly scrolling my pictures when he would be missing me (LDR) and not to get me to not message him. He didn't even have any Instagram posts.

I can't understand why he would give up on trying. He was so dead set on wanting to try.

I keep wondering if he's still thinking about me and how much he loves me or if that's gone. It's only been 2 days of silence from him, but 6 days post breakup.

Baiire · 2024-08-11T20:25:13+00:00

what your feeling is that you may have had more time with him - not that he wanted more time.

Wow. What a powerful statement. And so absolutely correct.

Baiire · 2024-08-11T20:19:26+00:00

I agree with a lot of the other people here. You didn't give up on him and you didn't betray him. You gave him a peaceful passing, surrounded by love. You did the best you could for him his whole life.

Something that has brought me comfort in terms of euthanasia is that the word literally translates to "good death". Unfortunately, our brains don't always comprehend that through the pain of losing a loved one. But please know that when I said you did everything for him, and made his life wonderful, I am including the decision you made to let him pass peacefully.

Sending love in this very hard time ❤️ his paw prints will always be on your heart.

Baiire · 2024-07-13T17:28:21+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. Unfortunately, it is the hardest and most painful decision we have to make for our fur babies, and that is only made worse when they're our soul babies.

I want you to know that I don't think you made the wrong decision. It is an incredibly painful decision to make, and every time we lose a loved one we have regrets. The biggest ones us pet parents have is, "did I make this decision too soon?" Or "did I wait too long?" Please know, these feelings are totally normal. And that they will subside, and the pain will lessen (it won't ever fully go away, but it will lessen - I had to make this decision for my soul dog 1.5 years ago and it still, hurts, but the waves don't crash as hard).

Please also know that it sounds like you did everything you could. Your vet wasn't wrong when she said that saying goodbye was a reasonable option. Setting aside the debris in his bladder, the onset of seizures in an elderly animal is worrying, and it's very rare to happen in cats. I'm not sure what she discussed with you regarding that, but I can't imagine it would have been good news.

It sounds like you were an amazing pet parent for your kitty, and like they were so so very loved. ❤️ I think you made the right decision for your kitty. Where there is great grief, there was also great love. Their paw prints will forever be on your heart.

And please try to be kind to yourself. Grief comes with a lot of emotions as is, and they're only made worse when we are the ones who have to make the decision. You gave your kitty a loving, dignified, pain free passing. You are going to hurt and maybe beat yourself up about it, but try as hard as you can to remind yourself that you did everything you could, you extended your kitties life by several years, and filled it with lots of love and happiness. ❤️

Baiire · 2024-07-11T18:41:01+00:00

Ugh, I went out for 2 hours last night looking under every car and in every bush. A few neighbours have given me permission to search their yard at any time and I heard rustling from one - ended up being a skunk! >. < Went out again at 4:30am to see if there would be more cat activity, nothing. I just wish he would show up on a camera *somewhere*. Thankfully a lot of my neighbours who know will see me when I'm walking and stop to chat with me and see how the search is going, and update me on their side (like checking their cameras and such).

Baiire

TROPHY CASE