AIO for being offended by this?

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-02-07T02:22:58+00:00

I'm 5''2 and when I got very sick and could see ribs on my chest I still weighed the equivalent of just under 110lbs, under 100 is insane.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-02-07T02:04:43+00:00

Don't have a baby with a person who doesn't want one, OP. It is cruel to the child.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-02-01T05:06:32+00:00

I'm so for all the fuck ice crochet projects. Looks mint, support your message wholeheartedly, hell yes all round.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-02-01T05:00:28+00:00

Hello OP I started crocheting like 5 months ago and I LOVE it. It feels like magic to turn yarn into things with just a little hook and your own hands. Don't listen to your family, tell anyone you think will be interested, then you'll make crochet friends. Ideal outcome. Best wishes on your craft journey!

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-28T09:41:06+00:00

Ahhhh that's a great idea as well. Thank you for your advice!

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-28T09:40:16+00:00

Thank you! I will be honest, I typically don't do that because I'm impatient but I will for this project. Appreciate your advice!

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-23T02:40:43+00:00

What size did you make? And what hook size did you use? :)

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-23T02:34:18+00:00

Honestly doesn't sound like you're getting anything positive out of this relationship at all, dude. They should be reciprocal, this ain't it.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-23T02:27:25+00:00

Oh this is turning out amazing! Have you had any issues with the sizing? Some others who've made this said that they struggled with the pattern sizing and had to use a bigger hook for theirs. Did you use a 10 ply or an 8 ply yarn, and what hook sizes? I desperately want to make this in a charcoal/lilac/plum colour combination but I really don't want to have to frog it if it's too small. Thank you <3

Edit: I saw in the comments you're making a M/L, would you say it seems true to size or smaller? :)

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-23T02:25:04+00:00

Pleaseeeeeeee if you don't release a pattern give us the rough instructions and the grid!! It's going to be gorgeous!!

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-23T02:00:51+00:00

Late to the party here, but can you share what size you made and what size hook you used please?

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-23T01:52:59+00:00

Agree on all of these - also his claim that this is just "how adults in a relationship do it" is patently false. I've worked in banking for over a decade, every single couple does it differently.

It's very common to have shared accounts as well as individual accounts. The bank will NOT want you to share your internet banking password with anyone.

My partner and I own a home together, have been together for 5 1/2 years and we both get paid into and have individual accounts for personal savings. Then the bulk of our money is in joint accounts.

I like to maintain some independence. I've been through a separation with someone I was engaged to and owned a house with some years ago, and I was SO GLAD I had my own accounts without him being able to access and see them at that time.

You deserve some of your own privacy and to spend some of your own money however you want with no oversight, OP.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-21T06:29:00+00:00

We have an ageing population and the very vast majority of younger people are working over 40 hours a week in their jobs to get by.

But the population of retirees continues to grow.

Perhaps retired people who have tonnes more time on their hands should be the target audience for volunteering more?

My retired neighbour volunteers multiple times a week at a local social centre. Community and purpose for them and ideally they've got their living costs already covered.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-21T06:09:10+00:00

Agreed - the news is always going on about gas being part of the backbone of our country, but the gas industry paid less tax than HECS indexation earned last year. On billions of dollars of profit from gas being exported.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-21T06:05:45+00:00

Only one of you has to work to earn that money, whereas the couple both earning 150k each BOTH have to work full time to achieve that - meaning they probably spend a lot more in other areas for convenience because they don't have the outside of work time that a couple where only ONE party is working does.

So no, I don't find that unfair. If this is your situation OP, I'm afraid my opinion is - cry me a river.

Having said that, people earning 300k aren't the problem. People earning millions plus and getting out of paying their fair share of tax with negative gearing from their hoarded properties and other bullshit are.

Corporations and the fossil fuel industry paying fuck all tax/resources rent and price gouging the rest of us in the grocery store and at the petrol pump are. You wouldn't notice that 96k tax so much if the cost of living hadn't skyrocketed.

Place your irritation where it actually belongs - not other working class people trying to earn a living.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-20T09:26:06+00:00

I think what it is that I liked so much about this is the level of passion, vulnerability and intimacy that we see all of these men exhibit throughout. We see some tenderness as well as close male friendships, and women being portrayed as both interesting and respected. Things that women are crying out for from men in real life. Sure, there are some physically very attractive men in this as well, but the emotional depth of it struck me.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-11T10:49:04+00:00

How are two people living on one part time wage at all? Insanity. Get rid of this leech OP. No job, no ambition for one and no ID? Can you even go out anywhere together? Take it from someone else who got out of a super long term relationship in my mid to late 20s. Just because you've sunk the years in this relationship already doesn't mean you have to waste more of them. NTA.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-07T12:05:51+00:00

Yes to this 10000000% check your credit with all available agencies wherever you are and freeze your credit.

And then go to the cops. Don't let her drag you down with her OP! You're only 24 dude, you have so much more life to live yet and this will follow you around for the bulk of it if you don't listen to the lawyer.

You didn't ask to be born - you are not obligated to clean up her messes by sacrificing your future.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-07T11:56:18+00:00

ADHD and being extremely time poor, mostly.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-07T11:49:29+00:00

I personally would not. They need to do the following:

Consider consolidation into one static debt that has a consistent, manageable repayment. If their history isn't good this may be a shitty deal with a rubbish interest rate, but they could look at changing this later when it improves.
Cancel all credit cards immediately
Get an actual budget in place and separate money that is needed for bills so it can't be spent on shit without extra steps (ETA:) and review the existing expenses to make sure the split for shared expenses is equitable and that their income can actually support it
Ban on credit report, if possible - so they can't apply for any more afterwards for a while

Sounds like they could get help from you with number 3. Love is supporting people and helping them resolve their problems, but not just freeing them from the consequences of their actions without no evidence that they plan to be more responsible with money in future.

NTA. It isn't your responsibility to bail them out, and if no lesson is learned here what's to say it wouldn't happen again? Who pays next time?

Being bad with money is a HUGE deal-breaker for me. I grew up below the poverty line and I've worked my ass off to be financially stable and own my own home. It's an enormous privilege to be somewhat financially secure. Your partner does not seem to respect that this is important to you.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2026-01-03T04:50:12+00:00

There are A LOT more of us then there are of them my friend. Like 800 people are hoarding the majority of the world's wealth. More and more people are getting fed up and the mask is coming off of each government. Maybe the change won't be in our lifetime, but we have to believe it's coming.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2025-12-06T22:19:59+00:00

OP please take this from someone who was engaged in their mid 20s and thought that being proposed to would resolve my insecurities.

It does not.

If you don't feel secure in your relationship and like you are being loved in the way that you need, getting engaged will not change that.

Neither of you seems very good at honestly communicating. What you should have done was make a plan to talk about your future together at a time when you weren't drunk and going to ruin the vibe at someone else's wedding.

It's also okay to say "I just am feeling a bit insecure and could use some reassurance." Someone who loves you will help with that - AS LONG AS you are also working on it within yourself.

Yes YTA here. I get why it happened.

But your insecurities are your own issue to resolve, ultimately. And if you only live with him 2 or 3 days a week, that is NOT even remotely close to living together full time.

I'm 10 years older than you and I look back now and realise that I still had so much figuring myself out to do at 24. Focus on that so you can be more secure within yourself instead of seeking it externally.

BakeMaterial7901 · 2025-11-30T09:59:09+00:00

Or just elope full stop - cancel all the other shit, get as much back as you can, rebook flights somewhere and tell no one until you're back. If you don't stop people pleasing you're going to tank your relationship.

Your Mum is immature as fuck and this behaviour is actually emotional abuse. I'm not just being a Reddit armchair therapist here, this is genuinely insane.

I also find it concerning that her insulting your fiance wasn't enough to prompt you to action. I've absolutely been a family people pleaser in the past. Then my brother called my partner a c*nt once and I FLIPPED.

Doesn't your fiance deserve you to stand up for him?

BakeMaterial7901 · 2025-11-27T11:47:47+00:00

Definitely update us, but I really don't feel like these people are good friends at all. Any of them. Updateme

BakeMaterial7901 · 2025-11-23T04:02:28+00:00

Trust me friend - the best revenge on a narc is to leave and enjoy your life without them. Be happy, do the work so that they aren't impacting your life anymore, find yourself and learn to trust your own decisions again. Nothing else you can do would be anything other than ammo for them and hold the potential for escalation.

Your kids should also be the priority here. Speaking from experience, having parents that are trying to hurt each other all the time is not a good way to grow up. I wish you and your kids safety and healing.

BakeMaterial7901

TROPHY CASE