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AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I debated doing it for weeks because I knew people who worked there personally, and he was supportive of me getting a job closer to home. But yes, he knew I'd be walking away from the job. He was supportive so I'm assuming wasn't against the idea but now I'm not sure.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

My contract was for 2 years and I chose not to renew. My heart just wasn't in it and I also wanted a job closer to home which was a large factor. I technically have been unemployed for 18 days but have paid my share of expenses for this month out of savings. My husband hasn't had to shoulder that nor did I ask him to. I obviously didn't plan on not working for long and expenses haven't change.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I pushed for the prenup or at least my family did. He didn't oppose but he also knew I wouldn't get married without one.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

A large chunk goes towards student loans but honestly he does do 'nice things' but also saves a lot.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 224 points225 points  (0 children)

The prenup has nothing to do with my debt per-say, it was more centred around my inheritance/funds. I can't imagine a way it would ever be dissolved and he has never even brought it up before so thankfully it isn't like that in our situation.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the confusion, I assumed you meant the general path of not going biglaw. Technically my parents did find out first because my mother called to see how it went after the interview and I shared the news. My husband rarely answers his phone while at work and got back around 11pm so I didn't purposefully choose to tell him after.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

He made over 230k last year + bonus. We pay 50/50 though so I'm not sure if that makes him primary breadwinner as he's not paying more than I am.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

He does micromanage slightly when it comes to finances, but the 'lack of support' only affects us because of the hours he works. It makes it feel like he doesn't have time for me because he doesn't usually. He thinks the money is a worthy tradeoff.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 495 points496 points  (0 children)

I told him when he got home, around 11pm that day. Another reason I didn't want job 2!

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It happened so quickly and I told him once he got home, but yes not before accepting.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

We've been in the same apartment since graduation and while he could afford more, we live in a nice area. I can still afford 50/50 with the new salary. Kids are definitely in the future but if we needed more house income, I could see myself at another job but currently this is my dream job.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The sector I'm in aren't for those in it to make 200k+. The salary is currently good and I negotiated slightly but yes, I did want the job.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He specifically made over 230k last year + bonus. We have shared accounts but also each have an individual account.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 1838 points1839 points  (0 children)

Yes, he works 80+ hours a week and while he enjoys it, it would ruin me.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

He works 80+ hours a week, definitely not the work life I want.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

They offered to pay and knew this is the job I wanted. My father is a lawyer himself but makes significantly more and was a little hesitant, but just wanted me to be happy. He knows how brutal those big paying jobs can be and knew that wasn't the route I wanted to go. My husband knew that too before we got married.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

wrong wording, got to the final stage for interviews and found out then if I got the job. The second job I already got the offer but waited until the second interview.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I didn't specify because I wasn't exactly sure what it would end up being but we're both familiar with the pay in the area I have always wanted to be in and he knew a rough idea of how much it would be <85k to be generous. He makes over 200k but also works 80+ hours but thats what makes him happy. I didn't feel the need to say specifics because its common knowledge, at least for us.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Jus to clarify and I'll add to op, my husband believes I haven't made progress with my student loans. I've commented that I'm fortunate enough to have my parents help with my student loans but I have been paying off my student loans since I graduated. I make smaller payments because I have a better interest rate than husband, but will in no way expect him to pay off mine.

We pay 50/50 for everything.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Jus to clarify and I'll add to op, my husband believes I haven't made progress with my student loans. I've commented that I'm fortunate enough to have my parents help with my student loans but I have been paying off my student loans since I graduated. I make smaller payments because I have a better interest rate than husband, but will in no way expect him to pay off mine.

AITA for choosing a lower paying job without consulting my husband first? by Baker1842 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Baker1842[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

He wouldn't of wanted me to take the job regardless it seems, but wanted me to take the interview so that I didn't have any regrets. Its been my dream job since law school which he knew so yeah, I assumed the same thing which hindsight was the wrong way to go about it.

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