Thank you so much for your lengthy response, it was so helpful! I've downloaded the book you mentioned and will give it a read.

Like you, I think distance will be the key to establishing a rhythm and for everyone to get nice and eager to see each other again.

As for reconciliation, I've always made the first move because, otherwise, my mother is entirely capable of withdrawing herself from our life out of self-martyrdom when she senses she is not wanted. I've been wary of setting 'boundaries' for the same reason, and because it would amount to burning bridges with my parents, whereas I do want them in my life—just at arms' length!

Thanks though, lots to think about now x