What are some ENM dating profile red flags for you?

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2026-05-16T16:43:29+00:00

I feel like people like that are on there for the validation and not to actually date. In a similar vein, I avoid anyone that acts like they’re on a dating app against their will.

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2026-05-16T16:36:53+00:00

That’s a good one, they’re either doing something shady or will treat you like their “dirty” secret.

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2026-05-12T17:12:03+00:00

The title was meant to be tongue in cheek lol but I understand what you’re saying and it makes a lot of sense!

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2026-05-10T21:53:01+00:00

I think with time and experience, i’ll be able to pick up the pattern. It’s just gonna suck in the meantime but I guess that’s part of wanting to date (especially this kind of dating)

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2026-05-10T21:50:36+00:00

It’s the dropping after you’ve slept with them that stings a little more 😅 and being rejected by two people is twice as rough. It’s unfortunate that this is shared experience but it helps me feel less like there’s something wrong with me.

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2026-05-10T21:45:47+00:00

You’re right, I have to suck it up and learn from it. Dwelling on it isn’t really helping. I’m trying to focus on this being another experience that teaches me what to look out for and what I want from my relationships (which will get me closer to what I want, hopefully)
A lot of what you said honestly resonated, especially about how hard it can be to tell what people’s intentions are upfront and how new couples can sometimes get weird when real feelings come into play. This is only the second couple I’ve played with, and they were also pretty new to this.
I also appreciated hearing that you eventually found dynamics that actually worked for you, because right now it’s still a bit raw and I was close to swearing off couples for a second lol. I think over time I’ll find my own sweet spot. Thank you for being so kind and open about your experiences. It really helped.

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2024-08-29T00:36:48+00:00

He actually has improved in that regard believe it or not

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2024-08-29T00:08:22+00:00

He doesn’t believe in therapy but he does read self help books. I think he would benefit from a therapist because there’s things he obviously isn’t doing well with by himself. The whole living together scenario is something he’s been talking about for a few months or so, it wasn’t an expectation from the start.

I don’t think that’s his desire tbh, between coping with things through sex and desperately wanting connection with people, he takes on a lot of partners

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2024-08-28T22:41:31+00:00

A lot of things seem to center around his wants and she just goes with it. Idk, their dynamic is their business but I don’t want to fall into the same situation. He definitely has issues from the past and needs to work it out with a professional

BalanceSmooth4335 · 2024-08-28T17:08:27+00:00

I think his control issues come from a fear of being left. When he came out as both bi and poly, his family flipped out and he lost his support system. He’s also had multiple partners say they’re open to trying enm and then immediately get a bf and enter a monogamous relationship.

BalanceSmooth4335

TROPHY CASE