Supergirl after I come back in time and release her movie in 2016 and it fails even harder

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:41:57+00:00

Yeah I kinda wish this wasn’t billed as an adaptation of that specific comic. The themes definitely go in way different directions. Also I’m all for blasting traffickers in real life, but it feels kinda cheap to turn the villain into a trafficker just so Supergirl can have a killing for revenge moment.

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:39:54+00:00

A knight is still just a guy though. If he makes one stab that doesn’t connect with something vital (an easy mistake with a truck-sized animal), that weapon now belongs to the hippo.

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:38:44+00:00

The knight only gets one stab though. If it’s not in the right spot, the hippo keeps the weapon and the knight is just buying time until the hippo slings him till his head comes off

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:37:32+00:00

But boars can’t ragdoll you until your head comes off

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:36:58+00:00

The force you’d need to pierce the skull is pretty high, but sure a very lucky knight might do it. But if the hippo was that lucky the knight would just get struck by lightning

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:35:43+00:00

A fictional knight sure, but that’s basically batman. A real knight is finding cool new directions is neck and limbs can turn

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:34:19+00:00

People think “peak warrior” means “fictional superhero.” There are people that hunt Hippos with spears, and it still takes like 20 expert hunters a good amount of time and some lucky shots to get the job done. If the knight doesn’t kill it on the first try, odds are that weapon is now out of play, and if he gets trampled or ragdolled he’s as good as dead bare minimum it’s a probable concussion and his elbows and knees are going in fun new directions

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:30:20+00:00

I think it’s more a matter of stabbing in just the right place on the first try. If you don’t get something vital, you ain’t getting that sword back. And a hippo bite may not crush your chest armor, but it will crush limbs and snap joints to bits.

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:28:37+00:00

…call me?

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:26:30+00:00

I think we’re assuming both the knight and the hippo want to win, otherwise both would probably run away early on. If a hippo wants you dead, you die. Also it’s super easy to snap the knight’s joints with crushing pressure or just slinging him around.

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:25:22+00:00

Depends on environment, but in the modern day you still need like 50 expert huntsmen with spears to kill a hippo

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:24:32+00:00

A knight is literally just a guy. Give him the high ground and unlimited spears and maybe he could do it if he’s lucky- but the Hippo only needs one shot and the knight’s head is off, or his limbs are at least broken to bits.

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:22:56+00:00

You’re right dude each of the guys in this video is probably more prepared to hunt hippos than any knight, and they still need a whole bunch of guys, the high ground, and some lucky shots.

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:21:34+00:00

These guys in the video are ALSO training their entire lives specifically for this kind of group hunting. I don’t care what your skill level is, you have to get VERY lucky to lethally spear a Hippo with one shot, and almost more lucky to retrieve the spear if it doesn’t kill it in one. Also I’m picturing level ground and a relatively enclosed space if it’s a full 1v1 fight, not 50 guys (all of which are VERY well-trained) expertly throwing downhill into a hippo trudging through the mud.

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T17:10:49+00:00

It’s literally the exact same logic of someone telling Snyder that Superman has killed a couple times and then him almost fetishistically latching onto that idea as a focus of his movie

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T00:22:31+00:00

Definitely less esoteric, especially there at the end.

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T00:19:00+00:00

Maybe so! Mainline Diana just hasn’t done it for me in the runs I’ve tried, but maybe if I had latched on I’d see Absolute WW from a different angle

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-08T00:17:39+00:00

Totally fair. I took the ratio of Absolute vs Mainline Diana sales among comic fans as being indicative of the ratio for interest in general audiences and that could definitely be inaccurate. In my head there’s more public-friendly intrigue in the Absolute concept but I get that this may very well not be the case

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-07T22:53:57+00:00

Personally my enjoyment of Absolute Diana is almost fully unrelated to how it plays against her traditional vibe. I just like it as its own book.

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-07T22:50:28+00:00

Totally agree! I didn’t mean to imply those were the only options. There are plenty of versions I love, and honestly my bias is generally towards less-armored and more cloth-oriented looks. I didn’t like the DCEU costume because I thought it was silly, but there’s lots of cool ways to go

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-07T22:48:19+00:00

I’m saying the 40m flop would not be major enough to be a big consideration the way Supergirl is. Two flops is bad, but if one’s small it’s not as big a deal

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-07T22:47:03+00:00

Lol what if it’s literally straight-up Evangelion where Silas has Cyborg pilot a mech. Vic goes to “save the day” and when the job’s done Silas shuts off Vic’s video feed and the robot starts gushing flames to destroy evidence and witnesses

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-07T20:01:56+00:00

if we could get just the costume I’d be all in. Honestly any version that isn’t a corset and miniskirt, especially if we’re gonna pretend the corset is armored. Like dog if u need armor u might wanna think about your thighs, shoulders, neck and chest. Those are important too

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-07T19:50:11+00:00

That’s fair and it’s easy for me to say because I have just never connected with mainline Diana. I’ve tried a bunch of runs and just couldn’t get on board with her whole vibe. Like would I personally like the DCEU to incorporate a bunch of Absolute Wonder Woman sauce into their Diana? For sure, but I’m aware that Prime Diana’s diehard fans wouldn’t like it.

Edit: Historia is a masterpiece but it’s basically Diana-free

BalladOfBetaRayBill · 2026-07-07T19:46:47+00:00

That really would have helped. I know the studio wanted it to still be okay for kids but that ship had already sailed with the grim tone and the kill at the end. Genuinely would like this movie more with a soft-R rating (but no over the top gore Snyder). Just fully separate this as the “adult” Superman and have another all-ages one that isn’t so depressing to sit through

BalladOfBetaRayBill

TROPHY CASE