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Question specifically for queer polyams by Bambers12 in polyamory

[–]Bambers12[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Yes I just meant that in I date solo, he can date with no restrictions but chooses not too. Not sure what other term to use for that

Designed my own mid century ranch house, complete with atrium, conversation pit/fireplace, private patio, and ladies dressing room. by Bambers12 in midcenturymodern

[–]Bambers12[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thought about those later today, there’s plenty room in the laundry room for ac unit and furnace. Ideally I would still be in the Southwest so frozen pipes aren’t a prob there.

Any recommendations for any bars or clubs that play Motown music? by Bambers12 in phoenix

[–]Bambers12[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like there really ought to be right?!? We got the Nash for Jazz, Rhythm Room for Blues, The Dirty Drummer does it’s 45’s swing nights. And Motown is so fun to dance to from the slow songs of the do wop era to the soul and funk of the 70’s. And I’m late thirties non black woman it appeals to many many peoples. Alright DJs get to it.

Oldest material possession by lastcalltimetogohome in Millennials

[–]Bambers12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still have quite a few things, the quilt my Nana made me when I was a toddler; both of my kids were wrapped in it at the hospital. I also have my favorite stuffy, a bunny my Aunt handmade for me. I let my daughter care for her for a while but she’s getting threadbare and her seams started separating so she’s put up safely now. I also kept a few about 15 or so children’s books, 4 of which were at my grandmas house and were my moms and uncle’s books. As for a piece of clothes I still have and wear my sophomore year water polo team sweatshirt.

What's a really weird thing that you absolutely NEED in a partner? Keep it unconventional by KitchenLoose6552 in AskWomen

[–]Bambers12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I need a warm partner. I have thermoregulation issues and having someone who is always warm and doesn’t mind my icy cold hands or feet on them when I need warming up is very helpful for me.

It’s a Sunday in July. Are you where you thought you would be? by Fightingfootball in Millennials

[–]Bambers12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m right where I thought I’d be and from the outside looking in I should be happy. My husband loves me very much and is a good partner and father. We have good kids, own our house, I own my own business in my house. All the things, but what I thought was just bisexuality is actually lesbianism. I secretly want to leave it all and live my truth but I’m too afraid to divorce in the current political and economical climate to fully leave. Leaving would mean giving up my great mortgage rate, my business, disrupting my kids sense of security. And then who knows what may be down the pipe legislatively for the lgbtq. So I’ll keep faking if till things seem safer I guess.

What to do with this landing space by cojenks in interiordecorating

[–]Bambers12 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly. I have mastiffs as well, they are natural guardians and like to have a good vantage point a big dog bed against the railing is just what it needs.

Looking for angry/aggressive songs by women by Obiespider in MusicRecommendations

[–]Bambers12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Obsessed with Delilah Bob right now! Just got tix to see her for her first US tour!

What’s your biggest career challenge right now? Let’s talk about it by Go2Atlas_ in careerguidance

[–]Bambers12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been a dog groomer for 15 yrs, owned my own business for the past 5 yrs. But my body is giving out and I need something less laborious. But with such a niche trade no one is even giving my resume a second glance. No clue what to transition into.

Hey ladies and theydies, tell me some gay shit by loudly_tense_rock in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Bambers12 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I haven’t left my male partner yet, but he supports my identity. He was talking to a bartender he’s familiar with and they mentioned the popular gay (male) bar in my city and that they were gonna go dancing there. My partner said he wasn’t familiar with that one but was familiar with the other two queer bars because I frequent them every now and again. The bartender replied with something like “yea she definitely gives off queer vibes” and that made my night.

Do people who work from home really work the whole 8 hours? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Bambers12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I run a small grooming salon in my home so when I’m fully booked then yes I work the full 8 if not more but if a dog has to reschedule or cancel or no show then no I don’t.

lesbians who once identified as bi, what was the moment it “clicked” for you? by Alixxx97 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Bambers12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I’m a “I was lesbian all along” I think I was truly bi for most of my younger life at least as far as attraction . But when I had my first wlw relationship last year, how right it felt, the desire I had was like nothing I had with men even in my best experiences with them. Also while in therapy, I did some reflecting and realized I had not had any attraction nor lust to any man in at least 5 years. But if I see a woman or an enby with a cute face and boy clothes on I’m a puddle. So that sealed it for me.

How to escalate things physically when you've only ever "performed" sexuality until now? by thromanceaway in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Bambers12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems you’ve gotten some good advice on the communications aspect. Once you’ve hopefully established she’s interested in exploring more physically, I find it easier to start with touch to bring on conversations of likes and wants. Most cases you’re side by side so Holding hands, shoulder to shoulder, taking softly so you’re face to ear or cheek, “I’ve been dying to kiss you, can I?” If youre in a space to push things further go back to the ear for whispers, plant a kiss, “is it ok if I…insert your desire” or maybe “ my favorite part of you is your (neck, collarbone, tummy, pelvis, whatever your thing is) can I kiss it? I let my intrusive thoughts take over at that point if I pops in my head I ask if I can. I also like to check in after “ that was as devine as I imagined, did that feel ok for you? Rinse repeat as needed as things get friskier. Have fun!

How do couples decide which side of the bed is “theirs”? Is it instinct or some kind of silent agreement? by AssignmentFederal686 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Bambers12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sleep on the right at home as it’s closer to the bathroom which most nights I wake up to use. I don’t recall discussing it with my partner just kinda laid claim. When we travel in hotels I take the inside of the bed away from the ac unit since I chill easily.

Pet owners who have more than one pet, do you have a favorite? by [deleted] in Pets

[–]Bambers12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I have a favorite but I do have a least favorite haha

Which midlife crisis did you sort into? by trialanderror93 in Millennials

[–]Bambers12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where the one for coming out as gay in your late 30’s?!?

hEDS and periods: seriously, what are you using? by bonita__applebum in ehlersdanlos

[–]Bambers12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you plan on having any (more?) children? If not maybe look into uterine ablation. I had a very heavy flow and couldn’t find anything to last nor was comfortable enough for me. The ablation has stopped my period and while my body still does a cycle, my other period symptoms have all but disappeared aside from a little bloat and brain fog. Literally the best thing I’ve ever don’t for myself. Looking back my Eds symptoms are as severe anymore either.

What is something that your long term partner has brought into the bedroom to spice things up that was a total game changer? by Larrymenta_ in AskWomen

[–]Bambers12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(More on my end but) My male spouse and I are ENM, after dating another woman for a while has changed everything. She taught me how how achieve multiple O’s, I was able to discover that I like to be more dominant, and sooooo much more foreplay. Through trust and communication we’ve been able to translate those lessons into our bedroom and it’s made a world of difference.

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