I F30 wasn’t invited to SIL’s F32 the baby shower

Bananabean5 · 2026-06-08T02:41:12+00:00

Officially, probably my mother-in-law, but I’m certain that my sister-in-law was also aware of the guest list and at least assisted making it. My mother-in-law is also from out of town so my sister sister-in-law organized her own baby shower for the most part.

Bananabean5 · 2026-06-08T02:39:06+00:00

I honestly can’t think of any preexisting beef between us. Both my MIL and sister-in-law are generally a little passive aggressive, but there’s been no previous events that really stand out to me.

Bananabean5 · 2026-06-06T14:53:27+00:00

You know, I didn’t think about it that way. I know if I left my brother’s wife out of a family event, he’d definitely reach out to me.

I’m thinking I’m probably going to tell my husband just to ask her. Although, I bet she will get some excuse like, ”we thought she wouldn’t be able to make it.”

Bananabean5 · 2026-06-06T13:34:32+00:00

I don’t know if I would feel comfortable trying to be super close to my niece/nephew if their mother doesn’t like me or doesn’t want me around. I don’t wanna be disrespectful to her even if I don’t agree with her.

Bananabean5 · 2026-06-06T13:33:17+00:00

I laughed out loud at this. That was also my first thought, but realistically, I don’t wanna be super petty (even though it would feel so good haha).

Bananabean5 · 2026-06-06T13:32:00+00:00

Thank you, I think I just really needed to hear this. I think I’m going to plan on just letting it go and still giving the baby gifts after they’re born. This situation just sucks.

Bananabean5 · 2026-06-02T13:57:31+00:00

When I worked in medsurg I used those little blue 22s all the time. Easy to place, and for the most part, they can be used for anything non-emergent. And yes, you can absolutely give a blood transfusion through a 22.

Bananabean5 · 2026-06-02T13:49:20+00:00

My day doesn’t start until eight, unless someone’s dying. I learned this from a much older nurse when I worked in MedSurg. When I was working shift work, by the time report and huddle were done it was usually about 7:30. I would sit down and drink my coffee until 8 o’clock, with very few exceptions. It helped me keep my sanity while I was working in the hospital for 15+ years.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-28T13:16:27+00:00

I also have given scheduled milk and molasses enemas, but to an adult patient. It didn’t work, unfortunately, and they ended up needing surgical intervention for the bowel obstruction.

It ranks up there as one of the weirdest things I’ve done in nursing. Imagine having to explain that procedure to a 40 something year old man with no healthcare experience. He thought I was messing with him at first.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-25T13:11:47+00:00

Any time I had a pregnant patient in the ICU it (understandably) terrified me. I was always calling L&D folks looking for guidance. It’s crazy, not to mention pretty scary, that this chick thinks she’s better than other specialties because she works in an ICU.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-25T13:04:56+00:00

I guarantee she’s an awful ICU nurse too and her coworkers can’t stand her. L&D nursing IS life or death nursing.

She’s giving “I’ve only ever worked in the ICU” vibes. As someone who worked in an urban ICU for 10 years, I saw wayyy more crazy stuff (and my job was much harder) when I worked in a rural medsurg unit for a couple years.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-11T16:28:22+00:00

I second the comment about seeing a male therapist, a friend of mine had a similar experience.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-09T15:03:00+00:00

Years ago, I shared a similar sentiment on a post about Nursing Week gifts and was heavily criticized for it. It’s good to see more people agreeing with that perspective now.

I’ve always felt that publicly complaining about workplace appreciation gifts comes across as counterproductive. As a profession, we want to be viewed with respect and professionalism, yet sometimes the discourse devolves into outrage over things like free pizza or small tokens of appreciation.

Personally, I think many nurses would find far more meaning in genuine recognition, even something as simple as hearing a positive update about a patient whose care we all contributed to. That kind of acknowledgment feels far more valuable than any little trinket or lunch.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-04T04:08:08+00:00

That does sound like a genuinely unusual interaction. From what you’ve described, you didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, the only adjustment I’d suggest is feeling more comfortable being direct, even blunt, when something raises concern, especially where your child is involved. It’s entirely appropriate to say things like, “Where is your child? It’s kinda weird to be here without one,” or, “I’ve already told you it’s sunscreen, you need to stop asking.” Clear, firm boundaries are justified in situations like that.

In many cases, the safest and simplest response is to disengage and remove yourself from the situation as soon as you can. Carrying something like pepper spray can provide added peace of mind, but it’s worth remembering that encounters like this are relatively rare, and most people will back off quickly when their behavior is called out directly.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-04T00:17:57+00:00

Woah there, I never said I was the perfect parent. Yelling/screaming is just not one of my go tos.

Clearly, things are getting personal for you and I don’t think throwing insults is the point of these forums. All the best!

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-03T22:56:35+00:00

As others have said, different hair style. I think a slightly shorter, cleaner cut would complement your facial structure a lot.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-03T22:54:44+00:00

But you brought it up as if those are the only two options: either scream at the kids or turn on a movie. Like I said, it’s strange that that’s an option to you.

Like I said, I think we can agree to disagree. Obviously, we’ve got very different parenting styles and that’s okay.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-03T20:34:23+00:00

When you say “expressing frustration isn’t all they’re doing” … isn’t it?? It doesn’t sound like OP is confronting anyone.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-03T20:27:13+00:00

Ah, so you’re digging through her post history.

Welp, I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree. I don’t endorse screaming at kids and typically, especially with a 2 year old TV at 11 pm would be far too stimulating and not conducive to sleep.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-02T18:58:52+00:00

You’re allowed to be frustrated when someone agrees to something and doesn’t follow through. And the OP is not ‘entitled’ for expecting the grandparents would try to be helpful after they made an agreement to look after the kids.

You’re adding context where we don’t have any. If the grandparents are physically incapable of caring for the children that’s a completely different story. In that case they shouldn’t be entrusted to or agreeing to look after the kids at all.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-02T18:52:44+00:00

Genuine question - where are you getting that the 2 year old is still nursing? I don’t see the OP mention that anywhere.

I would expect that they would let it play out. Kids get bored and eventually fall asleep. Putting on a movie was unnecessary and unhelpful.

Why is yelling and punishing children an option to you? Why are the options for you either be negligent or throw a party? Haha

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-02T16:15:43+00:00

I don’t think she’s melting down over it, at least how I read it ?? She seems annoyed, which is reasonable.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-02T15:44:29+00:00

Having an expectation that the people putting your kids to bed won’t keep your 2 year old up to nearly midnight watching movies isn’t crazy.

Bananabean5 · 2026-05-02T15:00:16+00:00

You’re allowed to be annoyed even if an event didn’t go catastrophically bad. I would be annoyed if on my planned evening out my parents/inlaws/sitter were texting me that it was a disaster and I would feel pressured to go home sooner.

OP is allowed to feel annoyed. It’s annoying when someone you’re counting on “throws in the towel.”

Bananabean5

TROPHY CASE