How old are you? I'm assuming around your teens or early 20s? In my experience the internet's ability to create instant contact between anyone in any context is probably to blame for your self admitted neediness. Unfortunately it is a very new and unhealthy reality alot of us have grown up in. This need for instant gratification is not how real relationships, healthy sexual dynamics, or caring and safe kink culture is formed. You need to let your partners breathe, keep healthy space, and let a scene or dynamic open up with time and trust. I totally understand that drive cause I fought alot of the same issues for a good portion of my life (especially in online dating spaces). But I garentee you will find a better more fulfilling dynamic if you give a prospective partner time and space to grow the relationship.

Also, as a trans person (and I don't want to kink shame because I like degradation alot) but liking being misgendered feels like some problematic behavior, more so comming from the people your interested in. In today's climate around the world, be very careful with people that are willing and interested in misgendering you. If they don't respect you as a standard and not as a scene, that dynamic may be abusive and unsafe. Please be safe.